Let You Go (Larry Stylinson)

Bathroom Floor

Louis is drunk. 

He's at a party at Niall's house, and it reminds him of how things used to be. He doesn't like it. As well as this, Niall tells him that Liam, Zayn and most importantly, Harry, are also coming to the party. Louis gets a little nervous when Niall says this, even though it's been so long. So he drinks, and he carries on drinking. 

Eventually, the loud music and mass of people all around him gets too much, and he retreats to the upstairs bathroom. He's so drowsy....

***

Harry is feeling pretty good. He knows that Louis is here somewhere and is hoping to see him, to try and build bridges and at least establish some form of civilised friendship. Emphasis on friendship, he reminds himself. He's mostly accepted that he and Louis won't get back together again, but sometimes he can't help but dream. 

Harry is pointedly avoiding any drink tonight. He knows that if he sees Louis, he wants to be able to have a proper conversation with him, and not do something stupid because he's drunk. He sees Zayn come down the stairs, giving him a weird look, and crosses the room to talk to him. 

"You know how you said you wanted to talk to Louis...?" Zayn starts cautiously. Harry nods eagerly. 

"Do you know where he is?"

Zayn gives him a tight smile and nods up the stairs. "He's sitting in the guest bathroom completely wasted. Be careful..."

His words are lost as Harry bounds up the stairs two at a time. 

***

Louis is semi-aware of the door being pushed open and someone stepping inside. It's someone tall, someone with long curly brown hair and green eyes. It's Louis' someone. Well. Used to be. Louis is too drunk and tired to deal with this, and without intending to he starts crying. 

"Louis?" Harry seems alarmed. "Louis, love, what's wrong?" The love slips out before he has time to think about it, and Harry mentally curses himself.

"I'm so fucking stupid," Louis cries bitterly into his hands. "I fucking miss you."

Harry slides down onto the floor next to Louis and slides an arm round his shoulders. Instinctively, Louis melts into his side and Harry stiffens a bit, having forgotten what this feels like. 

"I know," he says, even though he doesn't know. "I miss you too." That bit is true.

"I'm so stupid. So fucking stupid," Louis keeps repeating, over and over like a broken record.

"Why are you stupid?" Harry asks gently. He doesn't remove his arm from Louis' shoulders.

"I left and now I'm drunk because I knew you'd be here and I was scared," Louis sobs. "And now I need to be sick but I can't and I just want to so much because it'll hurt less."

Harry rubs the smaller boy's shoulders, then half drags, half carries him over to the toilet. This isn't how he was expecting tonight to play out. He wraps his arm around Louis' chest, holding him above the toilet bowl. 

"You can be sick now, if you need to," he says, stroking Louis' head. "Go on. I've got you."

Louis retches twice but nothing comes out and he just cries harder. 

"Help me," he begs, tears dripping down his face. Harry stares. Does Louis really want him to... 

They make eye contact and Louis begs him again. 

"Please."

Harry sighs, but reaches over obligingly. He gently opens Louis' mouth and sticks two fingers inside, pushing them deeper in until Louis retches again, once, and then vomits all over himself and Harry, missing the toilet bowl completely. 

Louis feels better instantly. Still not good, but better. Now he just wants to sleep, and he's too tired to change or shower or even move. Mumbling a thank you to Harry, he curls himself up in the taller boy's lap and drifts off to sleep. 

Harry doesn't really know what to do. He's covered in vomit and has a boy on his lap, a boy who will wake up the next morning and probably be horrified to find Harry there.

He wants nothing more than to curl up next to him and sleep. But he gently moves the boy aside and starts to get up.

***

Louis is aware that he's moving. Suddenly he realises what's going on: Harry's leaving. He opens his eyes suddenly, tries to sit up but sort of just flops a little bit on the floor.

"Stay," he pleads. He doesn't care what happens tomorrow. He wants Harry and he doesn't want to be alone. "Please don't go. I love you."

Harry's heart shatters into a million pieces. And so he lies down next to the boy he loves, the only person who has the power to mend it. 

It just hurts, because Harry knows that he won't.

Harry knows that it'll be worse tomorrow if he stays.

Because he's drunk right now, but Harry knows that Louis won't love him anymore tomorrow.