Deja Vu | Jinkook

Chapter 3 - Recovery

3 months after Jin's death

It seemed like everyone had forgotten that Jin had ever existed, at least that's what it seemed like to Jungkook.

He tried to continue with his everyday life but it was hard to get back into it as he spent most of his days feeling sad. His co-workers and boss understood him though so they didn't complain to him.

 He'd try to go out with Namjoon, his co-worker, and Jimin. They were the only ones keeping him even just a little bit sane. He partially forgot about everything when he was with them, but whenever he was alone, he had more time to think and it would lead him to cry again. 

...

5 months after Jin's death

 Jungkook talked with Jin's parents again. Of course, they met for Jin's funeral but only exchanged a few phrases, but now he was talking to them properly.

 His parents were talking to him about how he will always be part of their family and to not hesitate if he ever needs anything from them. 

Jungkook was thankful for that, but he didn't want to see them as much as it would be a constant reminder of Jin. 

7 months after Jin's death

 Jungkook forced himself to go through Jin's things. He kept on putting it off as he didn't want to face those memories yet. But one day, he realized how messy his apartment was so he decided to do some productive stuff like do the laundry and do the dishes that had been piling up in the sink for about 2 weeks now due to his depressive state.

 He cleaned his whole apartment and it looked so much better. He was proud of himself for cleaning it after so long. The only room he didn't clean was his room.

 He went into the room looking at the mess that had been sitting there for months. Jungkook knew it had to be done sooner or later. 

He opened his closet and went through Jin's side. They had separate sides in the closet they used to share. Jungkook's side was mostly black with occasional colors and Jin's was filled with pastel and edgy clothing. Along with clothes, they also kept stuff on the top shelf and floor. 

Jungkook pushed the pile of dirty clothes away from the closet door so he had more access to the closet. He started to look through all of Jin's clothing. 

He smiled looking at a few, like one was a fluffy white jacket and another one was a pink hoodie with a bunny embroidery on the hood. The bottom was a bit messy. He started to rake his hand through the many colorful stuff down there.

 He found lots of Jin's old figurines, jewelry, stuffed animals, etc. That's when he hit something hard. He grabbed it and pulled on it. It was a journal that was purple and had gold flowers all along the front. Jungkook had never seen this journal before so he was curious as to what was in it. 

He opened the first page and it said 'This Journal Belongs to Jin' he noticed how he drew a flower wealth thing all around the words, they were colored as well. 

He turned the page and looked through the rest of the book. They were some drawings of him and Jin in chibi style drawing from what he predicted, and they were all colored in colored pencil, and had some quotes in the corner of the page. Other pages were full of other characters and landscapes.

 Jungkook was amazed, he never knew Jin could draw this well. He then came to a page that was titled 'To my love (rough sketch)'. He got curious and started to read it. 

'Hey my love, It's me Jin, but you knew that already, haha anyway.. I wrote this letter for you to open when I plan to propose to you' 

Jungkook's face changed. When he proposed? Oh my God he was planning to purpose? He got teary eyed already, but he forced himself to continue reading the note. 

'We've had a long 5 years of knowing each other, haven't we? We've had our ups and downs but you've always stayed by my side though I lack in a lot of things. When you came into my life it made me want to continue living. 

You don't know this but, I was planning on committing suicide around the time we first met because at that time in my life, I was really depressed and no one seemed to like me at all, so when you became my friend, I was really happy and when I found out that you liked me, I was on the moon.

 Jungkook, you have really made me into a better person and made me see all the good things in life. You are so caring, amazing, thoughtful, a jerk (haha just kidding, but sometimes you are though :)) and most importantly my (hopefully) forever lover!

 I hope going forward we can create new memories together. No matter what happens in the future, I know we'll get through it together. I love you more than words could ever say and I hope you say yes, I don't have a doubt about it. Sincerely, Jin <3 6/6/20xx'

 Jungkook didn't realize he was crying until his tears dripped down off his face. He was taking in the words that he just read. 

He couldn't believe that Jin was going to propose to him, but now they don't have a future together anymore. 

He saw that the date on the end was on June 6th, about a week before he passed away.

 Jungkook closed the journal. He started to sob. He brought the journal close to his chest and held it tight, sobbing into his knees. 

After about 5 minutes of crying he put the journal back on the floor in the closet and walked over to his bed, sitting on the side.