Episode 10: Furby Furor

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"What is up, bitches and bros and nonbinary hoes!" California arrived at the States Annual Meeting with a giant grin. "Before we get started, I want all of you to meet my beautiful gay son."

"Your what?" Everyone in the room raised their eyebrows, blinked their eyes, and formed their mouths of mixed emotions in reaction to her announcement.

"His name is Sergey!" She proudly held up a thick four-foot-long caterpillar-like creature with the face of a Furby. "If you want to know his full name and title, it's Sir Gaylord Avocado Yogurt of Anaheim and Fucking. He's nonbinary, but he prefers to go by masculine pronouns in case anyone is wondering about that."

"Uh-huh..." New York stared dubiously.

"That's quite interesting to know," Pennsylvania remarked.

"You got that right," Rhode Island grumbled. "No offense, but why the fuck does it look like he came out of an acid trip?"

"He's a LongBoi—a Furby but long."

"Why though? What possessed you to do this?"

"Nostalgia," California answered with a sigh. "That's what possessed me—plus some inspiration from the Furby fandom. Trust me, I'm not the only crazy person in possession of a long gay boy."

"I concur." Oregon raised a finger. "I, too, possess a long gay son."

"Oh my gosh! For real? What's his name? Do you have pics you can show me?"

"Yeah. His name is Tater Tot Todd. He likes to munch on teeth and tater tots every Tuesday." She pulled out her phone to show her and the other states some pictures of her fluffy son. "He's pretty much a normie among Furbies, but I still love him no matter how boring he may be."

"That's nice," Minnesota mumbled in awe. "I feel like Tater Tot Todd and I would get along very well."

"Why that sounds fur-bulous," Wisconsin smiled goofily, drawing groans from the room.

"Oh my gosh! Nooo!" California screamed all of a sudden. "Florida! Get your dumb, bigoted gator away from my beautiful son! He isn't food, nor is he a chew toy!"

"Blossom is just showing how much she likes him," Florida excused.

"She's trying to tear his butt off!"

Washington D.C. watched them squabble in front of her, too tired to bother breaking up the fuss. 'Maybe now is my chance to refill on coffee. I know for certain it's gonna be a long day.'

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December 1998—New York City, New York

There was something strange about this holiday season that slightly irked New York. Some of it had to do with the heat wave diminishing the wonder of winter in the City. But for the most part, it had to do with Christmas shopping for a hot item he couldn't wrap his head around.

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