America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 4)

Episode 12: The Pig War (Part 2)

Previously on 50☆Stars: The shooting of a pig causes America and Canada to come to the cusp of war over the San Juan Islands. And now back to our regularly scheduled episode.

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A chilly September breeze marked the beginning of autumn in the capital of the British Empire.

England took this opportunity to have an afternoon tea party with his brothers, Scotland and Wales, before his ocean voyage to colonies in Africa and Asia. He had no plans in place to visit the land of beavers and maple syrup. Having not heard anything problematic to warrant a quick visit, he assumed everything was peaceful over there—until Canada barged into the tea room.

"Canada? Why are you here?"

"England, I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I have an urgent matter that needs addressing."

"Can't it wait until after my trip?"

"Please, sir. This is important. We're on the verge of going to war with America."

"Bloody what?"

"Here we go again..." Wales and Scotland quietly observed the exchange while sipping their cups of tea.

"I demand an explanation."

"Uh, well, remember the Oregon Treaty and the group of islands I asked countless times to make clear about who owned them?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"Disagreement between the Americans and our subjects over the sovereignty of the islands has reached a boiling point." Canada pulled out a letter from his coat and handed it over to him.

"What on Earth?" England read the entire contents of the letter with wide eyes. "Is this for real?"

"Apparently so."

"How big are the islands?"

"Um, I think they're roughly the size of modern-day Montreal."

"I see. Does it have any valuable resources worth fighting over?"

"I heard it has a sheep farm, and that's about it."

"Bloody hell," England groaned. "No way am I going to war with America over a bunch of tiny islands, especially over something silly like a dead pig."

"I understand your grievances, however, our subjects don't like the Americans taking over the islands. I want to do something, but I don't want things to get out of hand." Canada gulped nervously. "What should we do? Do we try to land our troops on the island?"

"Hmm... The bottom line is avoiding a war with America." The Englishman thought over the situation for a moment. "Truthfully, I don't have the time, nor do I want to spend resources on this minor conflict since I'm about to go to war with China over opium again. Still, I can't ignore and let America do as he pleases without respect for others like you and myself." He calmly finished his cup of tea.

"Are you planning to burn down his capital again?" Scotland wondered.

England smirked, "I could do that if persuasion doesn't work." He stood up from his seat. "However, I'll give America the benefit of a doubt. If he can come to his senses, he'll realize his mistake and not go to war against the greatest empire in the world."

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Tensions on San Juan Island began to die down by the end of the summer, yet that didn't stop swarms of American and British civilian tourists from showing up at the scene of conflict. Initially, they were awed by the spectacle of the British warships, watching them launch cannonballs up in the air and down into the water of the bay as practice demonstrations. There were only five of them, all equipped with a total of 70 cannons and 2,140 combatants—around five times the number of cannons and combatants situated at the American camp on the island. The British could easily outgun and outnumber the Americans, yet they had not taken the plunge to land ashore. The Americans on the island stayed overly cautious, assuming their enemies would land at any time when they were the most susceptible. But as more and more soldiers grew tired of doing drills and maintaining fortifications, the British started to be seen as less of a threat compared to the makeshift saloons and brothels in the nearby town.