MY BOOK OF ONESHOTS 😈

New Job (Part I)

summary: stolas got fired from his job D: so blitz helps out (NOT THAT WAY.. U SICK BITCH.)

IM TALKING TO U MYA. 

YEA.

I KNOW YOUR READING THIS. 

anyways enjoy :p

The door opened to Stolas's room, where a very sad and angry bird stood. "Hey babe, you're home earlier than-" Blitz looked up and saw Stolas's face. Blitz hopped on the bed and pat his stomach. Stolas walked in fully and started taking off his royal uniform. 

"It's so utterly cruel.. so.. disgusting!" Stolas snarled. "Cuss 'em out, baby." Blitz cheered for his boyfriend as he ranted. "It's fucking idiotic! I'm one of their noblest workers, I work twice as hard as that icicle sucking... bitch!" 

"Uh oh." Blitz purred. Stolas walked into his closet and grabbed his robe. "They can't even... replace me! I'm not a demon to be replaced!" Blitz smiled at Stolas. "Somebody is learning self confidence." Stolas crawled into bed and laid on Blitz's chest. "You wanna scream into a pillow?" 

"You know me so well." Stolas sniffled as he grabbed the pillow to scream into it. Blitz watched his boyfriend start sobbing his eyes out after he was done screaming his rage into the poor pillow Blitz named 'the rage pillow'. 

"Aww, sweetheart. Come to Papa Blitz." Stolas cuddled Blitz's entire body and didn't stop crying. "What'd they do to you? Do I have to get my gun?" Blitz said, sounding more concerned. "No.. they fired me, Blitzy. They fired me." Blitz gasped and held Stolas close. "Those bitches! What'd you even do?" Stolas gripped the sheets as his fists shook. "Ah, let me guess. Their angry you're with me now, huh?" 

Stolas shot up. "It's unfair! You're just as equal as I am! I was just given powers. That's the only difference between us!" Blitz put a hand up to grab Stolas and pull him down. "Shhhh.. I know. I knowww. Hey, those fuckers don't need you.. but you know who does?" Stolas looked up at his lover. "Who?"

"I.M.P! First off, you're the only reason I.M.P exists, and you wanna know what would be helpful for us? A magical, hot owl demon!" Stolas gasped. "You'll hire me?" Blitz smiled at Stolas. 

-- im cheesy as hell so take this mini flashback of stolitz as kids <3 😻 

Blitzo grunted as he climbed the tree in Stolas's backyard. Stolas mindlessly flipped through his grimoire and looked at it with pride. Blitzo wrapped his tail around a branch and hung down to meet Stolas's face. "So what is that? Your diary?" Leaves fell around him as he shrugged curiously. "No! This is my new grimoire." Something about Stolas's voice made Blitzo feel safe.

"It's a spell book! I have to learn it so I can access the living world." Stolas said with a finger in the air. He was so happy he had a friend to talk to about things he loved. Blitzo started to swing himself on the branch. "The living world? Like.. the one with human and stuff? Where the sinner's come from?" Blitzo smiled, still filled with a lot of curiosity. "Mmhm!" Stolas answered as he watched Blitz swing on the branch. "That's cool!" 

Blitzo put his arms in the air and flipped off of the branch, wrapping his tail around himself to make it easy. He landed effortlessly on the root of the tree and squirmed to face Stolas again. "Yes! I'm supposed to learn to use it!.. To study.. the sky!" Blitzo raised a brow. "Why?" 

"My dad says I can find prophecies, but.. I don't really know.. but I'm supposed to. That's what my job will be when I grow up! To join the rest of the Goetia family." Blitzo stood proudly. "Well.. you know what I'm gonna do when I grow up?" Blitzo started climbing the tree again. "I'm gonna run my own circus, and I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever, and I'll be able to do what I wanna do! All day!" Stolas smiled at Blitzo as he proudly spoke. 

"I'm gonna make so much money, and buy myself a big building, WITH a big office!" He stood on the branch with amusement and wonder in his eyes, something only Stolas had seen with Present Blitz. "A big office? For a.. circus?" Stolas asked. Blitzo was filled with so much pride he didn't care how it sounded. "Yea! A big office! Circus business with clowns and horses!" Stars lit up in Blitzo's eyes. "The horses will all have good names, like Stapler and Biscuit Queen!" 

"Haha, I'm sure you will! That sounds like a good business." Blitzo nodded. "Yea! If you apply, I'll hire you!.. Maybe.." Stolas laughed. "You'll hire me?" Blitzo shrugged. "Yea, if I feel like it." 

"Well, I hope I qualify! You'd be a good boss." Blitzo rolled his eyes. "You say that with sarcasm, but I totes would."

--

"Of course I would! We need you Stol!" Stolas blushed. "Will your employees let me?" Blitz narrowed his eyes at Stolas. "Let me ask the boss real quick." Blitz put a finger on his chin. "Ah, he said.. HELL YES STOLAS! I'm the fuckin' boss." Stolas held Blitz's hand. "I still want you to take me tomorrow to meet them and ask.." Blitz sighed and looked back at Stolas. "For you, I will. But, come on. You're the perfect fit!" Stolas leaned into Blitz and hugged him. "Well.. thank you darling." 

--

Blitz walked in with Stolas, which was odd. Everyone looked at them, making Blitz become defensive of Stolas. "Hey, could ya not fuckin' stare? At least ask a fucking question first!" Blitz snarled as he stood tall in front of Stolas. "Then get to the question, dimwit." Loona growled. "Stolas is here to apply for a job." Blitz explained. 

Everyone nodded and slumped back. "Oh, cool." Loona said. Moxxie put a finger up. "My only condition is that I don't want to hear sexual noises every week." Blitz laughed loudly and walked over to Moxxie and put his arm around his shoulder. "Hah.. that isn't a promise I can make to you." 

Moxxie tried speaking, but Blitz put a finger on his mouth. "Shut the fuck up. I've had to put up with you and Millie's bullshit for 3 years, Moxxie. Good luck to you." He said, patting his head. Loona sat up straight. "WAIT.. Can I quit my job now?" Blitz shook his head. "Loony! I need you! Also, why the fuck would I wanna put up with any receptionist that isn't you." Loona groaned. "What job with Stolas take if it's not mine?" 

"He'll start a new position! What's that weird ass bird shit you can do, Stols?" Stolas tilted his head. "What type? You refer to a lot of things I do as 'weird ass bird shit'." Stolas asked. "Uhhh.. cool things. Like.. battle stuff." Stolas hummed. 

"Well I supposed I could do scrying. But, if you wanted me to be in battle, I can do a lot of in action things." Blitz motioned to Stolas. "See? Perfect." Loona stood up again. "Let's take him on a test run... just.. in case he wants my job." Loona drifted off. "You up for a quick job, Stols?" Stolas smiled. "Of course." 

"Ah, good. M&M, you know what to do. Loony, get info on the target. Stolas, come with me." Everyone departed, and Stolas looked at Blitz with a smile. "You truly are an amazing boss." Blitz rubbed the back of his neck. "Hah, thanks."

im wayy to tired to continueee so yea im making it into 2 parts <33 hope u enjoy