TW MENTIONING OF RAPE
Y/N POV
Scarlett and I are on the way to the restaurant right now, we're in the car and have not exchanged one word since our shower earlier, which I honestly thought would fix things, it used to work for my parents, but I guess not, Mathew even says it works with him and Lizzie, which to me is a little weird to know, cause she's like my teacher and all.
We pull into the parking lot and both get out, Mathew and Liz are standing outside waiting for us, Scarlett greets Elizabeth and I'm quick to hug Mathew as I haven't seen him in years, he's been in China working to help the kids suffering in child-labour in factories. Which is also how he met Elizabeth.
"So, Y/n, how have you been?" He asks me before I even get to sit down, I know he's only asking because he cares, but like, let me sit down first, "I've been okay," I smile and look at Scarlett.
"Have you heard Jason is engaged?" I ask him and laugh, Scarlett shoots me a look kind of asking me if I really want to talk about this, I nod telling her it's okay, and grab her hand intervening our fingers.
"Really? To who?" He asks me as the server walks over, "Just a bottle of whatever wine you have," Lizzie tells him and he walks off, "My ex-girlfriend," I tell him and the table falls silent.
"Alice, was my girlfriend probably after she started dating Jason, but it's fine, I'm no better than her," I shrug and look over at Scarlett and let out a small giggle. "Anyways, how have you been Mat, save some small kids yet?" I question him and smile.
"Yeah, we got some kids into good stable homes and got a factory closed so that is a point in my book. How is Alex?" His question freaks me out a little and my normal mask glides down over my face like a remote-controlled garage door.
He knows who Alex is, he knows what Alex has done to me and what he has wanted me to prove to him, the countless times he has wanted me to prove something I shouldn't have to prove because it isn't the real me, the things he made me do, the thing he made me do when he came with me to Scarlett's house, nothing about it was fun, and nothing about it is anything anyone needs to know or would believe.
No one would believe me if I told them that my best friend has told me to prove to him that I'm straight by having sex with him because he is that damn homophobic, maybe Sophia would, I mean the number of times he has misgendered her should be enough, calling her 'him' instead of her or using her deadname in texts in our group chat and everyone correcting him every time.
I love him, he is my best friend, but then again, maybe I should listen to what Mathew has been telling me since the first time it happened and just report him to the cops for rape, but who would believe it? My mother? Jason? My friends? Even Scarlett, why should they believe me, Scarlett could just be seeing it as a way of getting away with me "cheating" on her.
But then again Alex Lee did rape me 9 years ago in his parent's cabin, he convinced my mom to let me go by saying he would take extra good care of me, and it wasn't more than 20 minutes away, and, he was old enough to drive at the time, it still baffles me that my mom even my dad let their 13-year-old daughter go to a cabin with her 16-year-old friend, and 3 years might not be a big age difference, but the level of maturing is surely very different, and it wasn't until I actually told Mathew about what had happened that night years later that I actually understood it.
Mathew and Lizzie are the only ones who know, I would've told my father but he died before I figured it out, and I just don't know what Scarlett would do, I mean I should tell her, I want to tell her, but I never found out when it would be a good time, maybe tonight if things go as planned, but then again I don't know, you might even be able to call what happened a few days ago rape, I mean I did consent and everything but I regretted every second of it, and I also told him that, I didn't tell him why I regretted it, I just told him I did, and then he left.
"Y/n you okay?" Mathew pulls me completely out of my thought, the server has been here with the wine, and they all seem like they're having a great time so I'm just going to stay quiet so I don't ruin the good mood. "I'm fine, don't worry, and Alex is great, he seems to be doing good in class but I wouldn't know shit about that, you would have to ask your fianceé about that," I teased and took a sip of my glass.
Lizzie brushed it off with a laugh and they all went back to talking, I excused myself and walked outside for a minute to get some fresh air. "Y/n are you sure you're okay?" Mathew repeats as he walks up behind me, I start to cry and he hugs me, "I'm okay, it's just;" I have to lie on the spot right now, "The whole thing with dads will in a few days, I guess it's freaking me out a little," I explain and he cups my face to make me look at him.
"You sure it doesn't have anything to do with you and Scarlett, or Alex?" I groaned and rolled my eyes, "I'm fine," I say and walk back towards the door, "That's the problem Y/n, you have been fine for years now," He states and I look back at him, "And I am gonna continue to be fine, now let's go, we can't let our beautiful girls drink all the wine now can we?" I implored making him chuckle a little as I drag him back inside where we join the others and get to eating our dinner.
It's not until we sit in the car after dinner that Scarlett actually starts talking to me, "So, what actually happened with Alex the other night?"
"The things that happened are exactly what I told you earlier," I whisper-shout at her and look away from her.
"Look, I'm just trying to understand what the hell is going on, because the Y/n I know would never cheat on me, let alone to prove something that she shouldn't prove," She states and pull into her driveway.
"Scar, just let it go," I sigh and get out of the car, "I will tell you when I'm ready to talk about it," I add and look at her, sorrow is glancing through her eyes and I can tell that somebody already told her.
"Who told you?"
"Elizabeth, she just wanted to protect you, I swear I'm not going to push you into telling me if you don't want to, but I really do want to help you," She swears.
"Help me with what? Put my best friend in jail? How, how are you going to convince anybody that it's true when it has been happening for years," I yell at her and cry in a rage.
"I-" She stutters and looks at me, "Say something!" I shout at her.
"I don't know what to say, I for once don't know what to say other than, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I will help you however you want me to," She gulps and reach her hand out for me to take.
"There isn't anything you can do to help me, go back 10 years and fix it then we can talk, but I don't think that that's possible." I begin to walk towards the front door.
"Y/n please, just talk to me, explain it, I will listen I promise I can listen."
"For fuck sake Alice what don't you understand, I don't want your help, I don't need your help, I just want to go inside, go to bed, and then go back to my apartment tomorrow," I exclaim, and look at her the moment I realize what I had just called her.
"So that's what I am to you? Some weekend fuck you can call whenever you feel like it?" She questions and furrows her brows.
"No Scarlett, it's not like that,"
"But it is, you just called me the name of your ex-girlfriend, and I get that you didn't want to talk about Alex and I know it wasn't Lizzie's place to tell me and frankly I don't know why she did, what I do know is that I love you and I will for a very long time, but if you keep this up I'm going to have to stop and think about what I want to do," It makes sense that this is how she feels and I do understand it, I do also understand why Elizabeth told her, she just wanted Scarlett to know but she doesn't even have the full story.
"And I understand that, but I really do not want to have this discussion at this moment, so can we just please go inside and talk about it tomorrow?" I beg and walk over to her, "And, I love you too," I add and wrap my arms around her neck looking into her glanced eyes, "Okay, we'll take it tomorrow, just don't run out on me again,"
"If I remember correctly you kicked me out," I sass and smile at her.
I'm honestly happy she was told, the way she was told isn't really what I would've wanted it but I get why.
A/N: This is shit, I will probably rewrite it when I finish the story entirely. Love you, stay safe<3
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Miss Johansson ✔️
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