CHOKEHOLD - VANCE HOPPER

☆ BILLY SHOWALTER ☆

this is unrelated to the story but am i the only one who thinks those rinney smut fan fics are super fucking weird 💀💀 like i love rinney don't get me wrong but man why are you sexualizing KIDS and then being like "well it's okay bc their aged up in my story." WHAT??? YK DAMN WELL THAT DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THEIR KIDS 😭😭 like i bet the actors would probably find it so uncomfortable too ☠️☠️

btw the "xenox place" is somewhere you print papers.

the next day,
(BRUCE'S POV)
MY HEAD HIT THE DIRTY FLOOR.
"Shit!" I yelled. I tried escaping by using a black string rope I found, but it didn't work. My head started pounding, I feel like it had it's own heartbeat.

I sit back on the mattress. I squeeze my eyes shut.
I wanna go home, more than anything. I don't know what I did, was this punishment? All I knew is that I wanted mercy, mercy. From whoever's up there.

I promise.
I promise.
I promise.
I'll be good I just want to go home. I used to think I was the luckiest boy, I had a supporting family. I had the girl of my dreams. I had been successful in what I love doing.

No!No!No! I can't think like that. At least I'm alive.
I'm alive.
And yet some part of me wishes I wasn't.
I want to give up, let down this game of survival.
Quit.

I've yelled. I've tried the window. Twice. I tried using the phone. Nothing is working.

But I cant. I cant give up I have to get out. Right?

The phone rings. I flinch. I realize it's the black phone on the wall.
"What the fuck?" I whisper. How is it ringing? It's broken. I've already tried using it.

It rings again. Maybe it's not broken? If someone calls, I can ask for help.

I don't hesitate another second, I run to the phone. I grasp it in my hands and put it to my ear.
"Hello? Someone? Anyone?"

No answer.
"Hello?" The urgency in my voice grows. I just want help, it doesn't matter who it's from. I just need it.
"Who are you? Please, I need help."

"I can't help you." A voice says.
"Why not?" I don't understand, if they can't help, why are they calling? For a second I feel like I'm being pranked.

"I can't do much from...here."
I wan't to ask what he means by "here", but I think I understand.

"Who are you?"
"I don't remember."
I know the list of the victims names, clear as day.
I hope I don't end up on that list.

"Are you Grifiin or Billy?"
"Maybe I'm Billy. It feels...familiar."

"I know I delivered newspapers." He says.
"No, you are Billy. You're Billy Showalter."

He changes the topic quicker than I can blink my heavy eyes.
"Maybe I can help someway though, I didn't call you for nothing, kid. There's an outlet. It's in the toilet, and it's across from the John."
"Yeah, I know what you're talking about."

"There's another side on that wall, and on that side there's a storage room. But, you can't get into that room because there's a fucking freezer door blocking it."
"Then?"

"Break into the wall, just about two feet above the outlet. Until you get to a panel and it'll have screws in it. If you get the panel off, you get into the freezer."
"And then the storage room comes. Thank you."

"And another thing, be quick."
I hear the phone click. I think he hung up.

"Billy?" I double check, he's gone.
I sigh, but I don't waste another moment.

                                    ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯
(3RD PERSON POV)
Y/N'S STOMACH SANK AT THE LOOK ON HER FACE. She built up the courage to visit Mrs.Yamada. But clearly, it was not enough courage. Mrs.Yamada looks devastated, in deep sorrow.
Y/n could tell how different Mrs.Yamada looked from when she last saw her. The way her skin slackened and paled like she was drained out of every single positive emotion.

It would only return if she had her son back. The boy she never stopped loving, and the boy she never will stop loving. She had held him in her arms and from then on, she knew nothing could possibly make her hate him. Bruce is her amazing emotion, her everything. She worked, cleaned, cooked, served all she had to give to Bruce. And she believes that he deserved it all, because he is her blessing.
Bruce Yamada is Mrs.Yamada's blessing.

"Hi, Mrs.Yamada. It's fine if this isn't the right time, but I wanted to see if I could come in? I wanted to check to see how you were doing."
Y/n's throat had almost closed up, trying to abandon her voice when she most needed it.

"Hi, Y/n. Please, come in." She says, stepping aside to let Y/n in.
Y/n walks into their cozy house, she looks around. The house had a different feeling too it, something was missing. It wasn't complete, but it wasn't a decoration or a item, it was Bruce.

The walls scattered with photos of the family. Amy, Bruce, Mr.Yamada, Mrs.Yamada. They all looked complete, like all they needed in the world was each other. And now their world has crumbled apart.

"Would you like anything to drink?" She asks.
"No, thank you. I'd just like to talk, if that's okay."
"Of course, take a seat." Mrs. Yamada leads her to the couch. They take a seat, they look at each other.

Both on the verge of tears, choking on their own air. They both know what Y/n want's to talk about, and yet it's the one thing they can't talk about with out crying. Mrs.Yamada could barely hold in her tears anymore, she bit the inside of her bottom lip.

She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that when she opened them, this would only be a dream. Mrs.Yamada cried her heart out, and yet she could never run out of tears. Y/n sat closer, placing her hand on her back and holding her hand. In that moment she started tearing up to.

"I'm sorry," She chokes up, "I just never imagined this would happen. Why Bruce? Why my boy? If I was a better mother...he would be home."
"Mrs.Yamada, it is not your fault." Y/n shoved down everything in her heart. Every single emotion scraped down to the bottom of her, she has to keep strong.

"These terrible things, we never know when they'll happen. You didn't know, I didn't know, no one did. Bruce has the best mother ever, you."
"It's so hard when all I can think is what would have happened if I was just there for my son?" Mrs.Yamada's tears are slipping off her face, and even fading away a bit from her eyes.

"There's nothing we can do about 'what if' now. He's somewhere, and we have to find him. I brought some photos..of Bruce. Have you made missing posters yet?"

Mrs.Yamada shakes her head, "I was starting on them today but the Xenox place was closed and I didn't know what photo to use and I just-"
"It's okay. We can make some. I'll get up first thing in the morning to the Xenox place and i'll print them and get them to you. But we have to do everything to make sure he's home."

"Thank you, really. Thank you so much, Y/n."
"He was my friend too, it's really not a problem."

"He really loves you, I won't let you lose that." Y/n says.
"He loves you too, you know? He always brought you up in conversation one way or another."

They both laugh weakly, for a moment they almost think every thing will be okay.

                                     ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯
(VANCE'S POV)
MY ROOM HAS SWALLOWED ME WHOLE AFTER I DESTROYED IT. Maybe this was karma or some shit, but I haven't got much power to leave my bed. All I feel is empty, like glass. Im solid, a physical piece, but inside of me there is nothing.

Y/n held me up, but she can also break me down. I should be happy for her, she found someone she loves that loves her. But what am I supposed to do with the love I have for her?

I cant do anything about it. So I stay home, in my room. It's almost like i've cut the outside world off, any one who's not in my house doesn't know how I am. And I think I would be okay with it, as long as I have her.

And she's the one thing I can't have.