LIFE AND DEATH (edythe's pov)

Chapter 5 Invitation

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Solar Midnight: Midnight Sun Reimagined (Life and Death, Book I) by beyondthedawn

 Books » Twilight Rated: T, English, Supernatural & Romance, Beau S., Edythe C., Words: 224k+, Favs: 59, Follows: 36, Published: Dec 26, 2020 15Chapter 5: INVITATIONS

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire... yes, I had both.

I was doing everything correctly now. Every i dotted, every t crossed. No one could complain that I was shirking my responsibilities.

To please Earnest and protect the others, I stayed in Forks. I returned to my old schedule. I hunted no more than the rest of them. Every day, I attended high school and played human. Every day, I listened carefully for anything new about the Cullens—there was never anything new. The boy did not speak one word of his suspicions. He just repeated the same story—I'd been standing with him and then pulled him out of the way—till his eager listeners got bored and stopped looking for more details. There was no danger. My hasty action had hurt no one.

No one but myself.

I was determined to change the future. Not the easiest task to set for oneself, but there was no other choice I could live with.

Archie said that I would not be strong enough to stay away from the boy. I would prove him wrong.

I'd thought the first day would be the hardest. By the end of it, I'd been sure that was the case. I'd been wrong, though.

It had rankled, knowing that I would hurt the boy. I'd comforted myself with the fact that his pain would be nothing more than a pinprick—just a tiny sting of rejection—compared to mine. Beau was human, and he knew that I was something else, something wrong, something frightening. He would probably be more relieved than wounded when I turned my face away from him and pretended that he didn't exist.

"Hey, Edythe," he'd greeted me that first day back in Biology. His voice had been pleasant, friendly, one hundred eighty degrees from the last time I'd spoken with him.

Why? What did the change mean? Had he forgotten? Decided he had imagined the whole episode? Could he possibly have forgiven me for not following through on my promise?

The questions had stabbed and twisted like the thirst that attacked me every time I breathed.

Just one moment to look in his eyes. Just to see if I could read the answers there...

No. I could not allow myself even that. Not if I was going to change the future.

I'd moved my chin an inch in his direction without looking away from the front of the room. I'd nodded once, then turned my face straight forward.

He did not speak to me again.

That afternoon, as soon as school was finished, my role played, I ran halfway to Seattle, as I had the day before. It seemed that I could handle the aching just slightly better when I was flying over the ground, turning everything around me into a green blur.

This run became my daily habit.

Did I love him? I did not think so. Not yet. Archie's glimpses of that future had stayed with me, though, and I could see how easy it would be to fall into loving Beau. It would be exactly like falling: effortless. Not letting myself love him was the opposite of falling—it was pulling myself up a cliff face, hand over hand, the task as grueling as if I had no more than mortal strength.