Celestial- Kim Mingyu

Don't Wanna Cry

It's been two months since we started to prep for our first comeback. Since we had a good debut, the pressure was on us to also have a good comeback. We are hoping to get even more fans and many music show wins. We have been vlogging our journey since the start and have uploaded a few. We comments were so cute, but obviously the jealous netizens were always there trying to compare us to certain groups and just being mean for no reason. You see I always had a thick skin, so those comments weren't getting to be me. But I didn't let my members see them. I can get my feelings hurts but I refuse that they do too. As I was mixed, there are a few racist comments from k-netizens saying I shouldn't be an idol and all. But I really didn't care. I knew I had the talent and the drive to pursue this career and they didn't. All the xenophobic comments about the foreign members were always reported. You are allowed to citizen the song and what not, but being racist was just a no. Today was the first day of our music video shoot. We were in a strange cabin. And I was vlogging since I already shot my scene.

-Hi guys! Welcome to day one of filming the mv for "Strange humans"! Since we are uploading this after the release, I guess it's fine of me showing and talking about it. I hope. We are presently in a creepy forest with a creepy cabin. It is very much giving Enhypen older mvs. No, we are not part of their lore, as far as I know. But they also have a very mythical lore so who knows. I know there are similarities, but I promise engenes we are not trying to copy them. It works with the lyrics. I would know, I wrote them thinking of a creepy old cabin in the woods.

I showed the set and our outfits. Explained a little the story line of the music video. After we were done filming, we had to take pictures for the photobook and photocards. I loved photoshoots. They are just so fun to do. We took our solo shots and the group ones. Once we wrapped it up and went home and got to eat a nice meal prepared by Yumi and Minji. We are now very close to each other and don't have that awkwardness we had when we got together. Our lifestyles work very well with each other, and we never really have fights or arguments. I'm happy we don't have them our energy is very harmonious. Before we went to bed, Soojin came to me to ask if I would want to go on Youngji's show. I liked watching it myself and I would love to go. She said that it would be in a week, so we would already be done with shooting the music video. I was happy and went to tell the girls, they were happy for me and excited to watch me get drunk on video. It was unusual for rookie girl groups to do it, but I guess the company didn't think it would be a bad call for me to do it. I saw that I got a text from Mingyu, it made me smile, but I did slap myself a little to bring me back to my senses. He asked how my day went. I told him I had a lot of fun shooting the mv and that everything was beautiful on set. I sent him a picture of me on set. I was wearing a long black dress with my long dark hair curled with a universe crown. I was sitting on the grass in the creepy forest. He said I looked pretty, and that black clothing looked very nice on me. My favourite colour to wear was black. I think it goes with my cold personality. I thanked him for the compliment and asked how his day went. He sent me a picture of him and Wonwoo at a cat café. I knew Wonwoo loved cats but was surprised Mingyu agreed to go with him.

-I'm surprised to see you went to a cat café. I know you are more of a dog person.

-I am but Wonwoo hyung really wanted to see the cats after watching your vlog and I thought it would be nice too. They were cute and playful. Maybe I should have a cat, it seems easier to take care of them.

-You guys watched my vlog? And yes, cats are easier to take care of, especially if you are busy like idols are.

-I was watching it on my computer and hyung just sat down next to me when he saw the cats.

-I 100% understand him. Cats are just the cutest. So how was my vlog? Was it boring?

-I liked it. It showed your true personality, which is nice. I saw that people were saying you were a mean and cold person when you clearly aren't.

-Thank you for that. I don't want people to think I'm being fake for the cameras. New places just make me anxious. Especially if I don't know anyone.

-I know what you mean. You should continue your vlogs, they are entertaining.

-Thank you oppa. I must go to bed. I am dying of tiredness.

-Good night, Nabi-a.

A week later

I am now getting ready to go to Youngji's place go find her show. I wore comfy clothes and did a light makeup look. I didn't ask the makeup artist or stylists to help. I knew I could do it myself and didn't want to bother them with it. I arrive there and call to go up. Once I got there, she opens the door and was excited. So, was I.

-Youngji-a, finally got to meet you.

-Nabi-ahhhh. Welcome. I know you are also a 02 liner when is your birthday?

-March 21st.

-Ah, eonnie!

-Nooo, sunbaeeee.

-AHHAAHA.

We sat down and started to talk, eat, and drink.

-Nabi-a, you debuted not too long ago. How are you holding up with this newfound fame.

-Wow, you think I'm famous.

-You are. I see so many posts about you and your members a lot.

-I don't think we are that famous. But it feels good, I guess.

-Do you read comments a lot?

-I do but I don't always let my members read them. I screenshot the nice ones, print them and hang them up in our dorm. But if it's xenophobic and racist I don't show it to them. I did show them the ones where they comment on our voices or performance, but we don't really take them personally.

-But why do you take that responsibility?

-I think as their leader, I want to show them the positive instead of rude or mean comments. They work too hard to read those type of comments.

-But aren't you getting hurt by reading them?

I paused.

-I think because I used to get bullied when I was younger, I developed a thick skin. A lot of comments don't affect me. But I hate reading comments about my members. I just don't understand why some people can write those and post them. If you hate something, just keep it to yourself and find a hobby. How is commenting about someone you don't even know make you happy. I don't think I'll ever understand them.

-Was there a comment that made

-Was there a comment that made you cry?

-Yeah, many in fact. But none of them were about me except one. They were mostly about the foreign members or our maknae. But someone told me I should go die because I was a fan of groups that are under the same company as I am and that I didn't deserve to be an idol.

-That's so mean of them, I'm so sorry.

I was now getting teary eyed. But I didn't cry I refuse to cry because of people that don't even know us.

We continued to have fun and talk as if we've been friends forever. We exchanged numbers and I left when she asked me too.