Boys self harm too (boyxboy)

chapter 4

AN

THIS IS MY VERSION OF JAY, SORRY IT'S BLURRY. IT WASN'T UPLOADED THE WAY I WANTED IT TO BE. I WOULD ALSO LOVE TO THANK YOU FOR THREE HUNDRED READS YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. COMMENT SUGGESTIONS OR JUST LET ME KNOW HOW I'M DOING. THANK YOU ALL

"W.. What? Me?" I sat up and stared at my almost empty wall, "How do you know? We just met today! It's soon. To soon. You can't be sure!"
Jay cut me off with a stop. He said," I know it's only been one day, but," he paused for a few seconds and said, "I can feel it in my gut. Somehow I just know."My eyes began to tear up, hearing what he said.

Then Anna came into my head, her voice not exactly her ,but I know she said it, " Sam I love you with all my heart, but I can't do this. I'm holding you back..." I shook the voice out of my head.

"No," I heard myself say. I sat there in shock realizing what I said "I can't feel this. I can't feel this again, just never say you love me"

Before I got a reply I hung up the phone. I wanted to scream and throw the phone, but my mom. She would kill me. With tears running down my face, I set my phone on my desk, and push my back into the corner. Balling myself up in my blankets, I cried myself to sleep.

"18 missed calls! What the hell is wrong with you!?" I thought aloud as I got dressed. All he said was he can see himself loving me, that's what you wanted isn't it? I got ready and walked to school. Shit. Back to hell. At least it's Wednesday, short day. Every Wednesday we got out at 2:00 instead of 3:00 the one good thing about this school.

When I arrived at school, Jay was sitting out front, talking to Josh. I knew it. They are working against me! I stared until I was noticed by Jay. he bolted across the concrete keeping us apart and stopped in front of me. I had expected a punch and clenched up. I waited a second before I let my guard down "what the hell are you doing" he asked in a confused tone.

"LEAVE ME ALONE" I yelled in a medium tone.

He looked at me with a hurt look and said, "Okay...Why?"

"Because, I don't want you making fun of me." I said. He started to say something, but I put in my headphones so Jay could tell I was ignoring him. He got the message quickly and went back to Josh.

In second period I tried to stare at Jay, but the ass hole was already staring at me already.I had to play it off like I was looking at the clock or the door. I honestly couldn't be more obvious. I hate to say it but Jay is H O T !! Dammit why did he have to be working with Josh to use me?!

P.e was easy to avoid Jay since we had different teachers but lunch is an entirely different story. No teachers, no classes, absolutely nothing to keep jJay away. Apparently Jay realized this and took it to his advantage.

I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. I jumped and turned to see Jay. I grabbed my bag and threw it over one shoulder. The gentle tab turned into a forceful grab and a spin, And a scream saying, "Fucking talk to me! Stop being a bitch!"

Shock, and pain, and more shock came over me as I said, " So you think I'm a bitch?" I took a step on my hurt foot and pain flowed through my body. I started to fall when Jay caught me. As soon as I was on my feet, I gave him an unbalanced punch. It landed him on the chest. I saw his eyes flow with anger. Then, he slammed me against the wall that was a few feet behind us. My feet dangled above the ground and a crowd began to form. As fast as the anger came, it left. His face returned to normal and his eyes were their beautiful ice blue. He leaned in and kissed me. He soon lowered me down and flipped his hair back into his face, then calmly walked away.

I cursed at myself minutes after the event. I hated myself for liking it. Why was he such an ass? Why were people still around me?

I helped myself off the ground and hobbled against the wall, till I got farther than the wall. I went to class soon after with the idea that I would finish work. Half way down the hallway I saw Josh and, of course, the lying, backstabbing Jay.