Leave A Message || Gallavich

BONUS

I walk back to Ian's room and see that it's surrounded by doctors and nurses. I drop my pudding cup and run over to them.

"What are you doing? What happened?" I try pushing through them but one stops me from entering.

"I'm sorry." He says.

"Sorry? What do you mean you're sorry? What happened?! What happened to him!"

"It came out of nowhere---" The doctor speaks but I don't bother listening.

"You shut up! Shut the fuck up and let me through!" I yell loud enough that the entire hospital hears me. Finally, they let me inside.

I see Ian laying there on his bed with his cover wrapped around his small body. He's sleeping. I think as I slowly walk over to him. The outside of his eyes are red and his hair is gently lays on his face.

"Ian?" I say. He didn't hear me. "Ian..." I say again. He doesn't respond.

I find myself fighting back tears again. I fall to the floor and grab onto his cold... lifeless hand. "Ian." I say his name again in hopes that he'll respond. In hopes that I'll get to hear his voice again.

A nurse walks up to me and sets her hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry." She says.

"Stop. Don't say that. He isn't..." I try to lie.. I try to still believe that he's just asleep and he isn't dead but I know that he is. He's gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

"I wasn't there for him." A tear slides down my cheek.

"He thought that you were.. that's all that matters."

I set his hand on my heart and squeeze my eyes shut. Five days ago, I didn't even care about him. I didn't smile when I heard his name or worry about how much he was eating. I didn't care. Why do I care now?

I sit on the floor in silence, still holding onto his hand. I don't ever want to leave. I told him that I wouldn't leave him and I won't.

I knew that he was dying... but I didn't know that it would be this hard to say goodbye.

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