The 48 Laws of Power in Practice

Law 44: Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

There are several ways to use the mirror effect. Seduce others by mimicking their values. Teach people lessons by copying their actions. Or mock your enemies by imitating their qualities, showing them their ugliness.

Application –

When you meet a bunch of mean girls, you may see them as carbon copies of each other. Their mannerisms and style of dress are all the same. There is usually a leader, aka the "meanest" girl. To stay on her good side, the others are reflecting her values at her.

Another example is when children mirror the behavior of their parents. It can be cute when little kids act bossy, seemingly without knowing what they are doing. But when the child acts rude and uses the same back-talk as one of the parents, it shines a light on where the unwanted behavior is coming from.

Finally, satire is a way to combine comedy with the mirror effect. The comedian often creates a caricature of the target, exacerbating quirks or weaknesses that make them look ridiculous. To see what I mean, just watch any episode of Saturday Night Live, the Colbert Show, or any of the political satire comedy shows. This is a powerful form of mockery because it's based on truth and people will associate the caricature with the real person. And if the target reacts in anger, it will seem as if they can't take a joke.

The Magnet–

As we sat at one of the tables in the breakroom, several people stopped by to say hi and some stayed for a while to chit chat. I knew they were all here for my coworker and not me. She was magnetic. What was it about her?

We became close friends and for a while. Outside of work, friends and guys would flock to her as well. When I think back to the behaviors of our group of friends in a social setting, it's very telling. Someone would be complaining about their relationship or the details of their diet. I would ask questions to try to understand the psychology behind their behaviors. Then give my honest assessment of the situation to try to help them. I would say things like "be careful, that's a fad diet." In contrast, she would exclaim, "perfect, you'll have that beach body by summer!" This is before I learned that there is no power in argument.

My friend, the Magnet, would listen intently and reinforce everything the other person was saying. If you were sad, she was sad for you. If you were angry, she was angry with you. If you had an idea, she thought it was the best idea ever. And if you wanted to go to an event, she would be super enthusiastic about it too. But then when you needed her to be there, she would be hours late. Or would bail out at the last minute. She showed up 4 hours late to a mutual friend's wedding, missing the ceremony completely after most of the other guests had already left. Still, she had new friends everywhere, and the invites would just keep coming...