Broken friend ||brance||

You dont love her

TW-abuse

Also I know nothing about baseball so don't come after me

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The night was quiet, no one spoke at the dinner table the only sound was your metal fork hitting the glass china. The only time someone would speak was to pass a certain item but other then that speaking was prohibited unless the adults spoke first.

"Bruce do you have a baseball game this week?" My father asked, it wasn't like we had the schedule on the fridge with all the other important documents, I nodded slowly "yes sir, it's on Friday" he didn't respond. My mother got up taking her and my fathers plates away, when she put them in the sink she came back for me and Amy's plates.

"If we show up to this game you will win this time right?" The last game they showed up to my team had lost by one point, they were fuming and didn't come for the next 2 games, "yes ma'am" I said standing up, before I could walk to my room my mother grasped my arm tightly.

I knew this type of grasp, it meant I was either In trouble or she was going to lecture me, the atmosphere changed quickly, I looked down at her to see her face which was a mix of emotions, I was much taller then my mother I physically did have to look down at her, "you better not disappoint us Bruce" she tighter her grip on me, I squeezed my hands into a fist trying not to show that I was in pain.

Once she finally let go I let out a small breath I was holding in, she turned back to the kitchen and started the dishes. I turned back to the stairs going up them as quick as possible to get to my room, I close the door quietly my breath started to hitch and I started to feel dizzy, just another panic attack.

I slowly walked to my bed pulling back the covers and climbing in, I laid there hugging my pillow the only thing covering my quiet sobs, I was a very quiet person, I longed for someone at school to ask me those 3 wonderful words...... 'are you ok?''.......but I put on such a persona that people just thought I was tired from baseball or homework because "Bruce yamada is incapable of having feelings"

I laid there in bed listening to the quiet night, my tears staining the white pillow case and I let them, I deserved to feel the warm salty tears go down my face, I deserved to feel something other then the fake 'good boy' act I always put on for everyone, my mother told me many times that I wasn't aloud to feel anything.

I wasn't aloud to be angry, sad, annoyed, confused, anything that wasn't the positive boy I was supposed to be, I remember the time I cried to her about Amy breaking one of my toys, she didn't handle it well and told me it was a stupid reason to cry and that if I didn't stop she would give me a reason to cry.

She then slapped me across the face in her words finally giving me a reason to cry, I then was forced to stop crying which took hours but now I don't cry when I'm around people so it won't happen again. My thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, I jumped a bit but stayed facing away from it.

"Goodnight Bruce" my mother said quietly from the doorway, I didn't turn around afraid of what she would say about my tear stained face, "goodnight" I said back just as quietly as she did. She stood there for a second before speaking again "I love you honey" I wanted to cry or scream when she said those 3 horrible words but I didn't "love you to" and with that she finally shut the door, I waited for her footsteps to stop before I cried even more into my pillow.

That lady didn't love me, she didn't care one bit about me the only thing she cared about was her reputation, I cried into my pillow till I started to feel my eyes get heavy which I finally let them fully close as sleep took ahold of my body.