Almost

Goodbye

Flashback.

Blue was sitting at the rooftop of the school building. Waiting for Lourdes. They agreed to meet there since its their favorite place. Rooftops.

She could not explain what she feels at the moment. She is lost in her thoughts, standing hand in her pocket.

Is this really the end?. I should not be here when I know for a fact that I would just get myself hurt after this. I should let things as messy as they are and just moved on. She murmurs.

You're early.

A voice she knows really well broke her deep thoughts.

I have nothing to do, might as well go here early. She replied.

They stood there, looking through the vast sky. Both with heavy hearts. Not wanting to say anything. Having second thoughts of what they are about to do, Is this really the end?.

What are we gonna do now?. Blue initiated.

What's best for us. Lourdes replied looking down.

Is it really the best?. Why don't we just agree on each other and stay together. I've been longing about this job for quite a while now and you know that. Blue burted out.

You know I can't. I won't be waiting at home anticipating wether you are still alive or not. I can't handle that. I supported you with everything but not this one. You choose a life altering job, being an agent is what you dream about and I respect that but I can't just wait all day long and think if you survive every mission, if you gonna be home after a tiring day or a dead cold body. Lourdes rants and started crying. You know I'm too weak for that. Everybody leaves and I don't want to be left behind specially from you, it will kill me. She said with lower voice.

You rather give us up?. A teary eyed Blue said. What about our dreams? We have a future ahead of us, I was there for you and I still am. Please I need you on this one, with me. She begged.

I'm sorry. I'd rather want it this way, us, parting ways. I want to remember it this way, seeing you alive and whole. Pain visible in the womans eyes.

She don't want to do this but she has to. She knows Blue will do what ever it takes to be with her, if she choose to stay and ask her not to go Blue will give up her dream. She needs to be out of her way so that her Blue could have that lifelong dream. She knows her reasoning is confusing her but that is the only way she come up with. Lourdes tried to stop her tears.

I won't go. I can't lose you love. I love you way too much. I can do anything else, I just want to be with you always. Blue honestly said.

There it is. That's what she'd been afraid of. Giving up her dream just because of me. Lourdes shakes her head.

No Blue. No. She said with finality.

She holds the face of her dearest Blue. Looks her straight in the eyes, memorizing every inch. Taking mental notes knowing it's the last time to be with her dearest saviour. Wiping the tears.

Listen to me. I want you to thrive, okay?. Fulfill that dream, I am proud of you always. No matter what , you will always be my saviour. Thank you for those amazing times and please take care of yourself, love. I may not be at your side when you reach your dream but always remember that I will always be your number one fan. Lourdes sincerely said hugging her so tight.

Blue cries harder. Hugging her beloved tighter.

Please don't do this. She begged one last time.

Lourdes looked at her. Smiles at her and gently placing a kiss on her lips.

Blue close her eyes, tears pouring more. She don't wanna let go.

She looks at her woman, pain dominating her facial expression.

Lourdes slowly letting go, from the hug and from her hand.

Stepping away from her. Crying.

Running through the door. Without looking back.

Blue stood there. Looking up at the sky once again, slowly falling on her knees.

Please.

Under the once blue sky, Blue kneeling, crying her heart out. Feeling the heavy rain on her. Punching the rooftop floor.

Hurting, bleeding and weeping.

....

How far can someone go for love?. How much are you willing to sacrifice?.
Is letting go enough for everything to make it stop?. Or are we being selfish for saving ourselves from the pain of losing them permanently?.