Araceli

17- Tranquil Gazes (edited)

-Valarie (first person)-

I sat right there trying to make the best of the trivial silence that kept me sane in the chatter of dozens of officers and sirens that enveloped us. What happened was big. At least for me. I cannot say that I've seen worse before but that doesn't seem to be the case for Joshua Kim. He was right there, a little further from me, talking to one of the many officers like he's used to such criminal interrogation.

He explained all the details before making his way over to me with an officer at his tail.

"They want to take your statement," he stated.

What statement? I'm still in a daze. I don't know what's going on.

"I have nothing to say," I said firmly. The officer gave me a wry smile that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle.

"Are you sure it had nothing to do with you, Ma'am? Has anyone been threatening you lately?" He gave me a disparaging look. His hands were on either side of his hips as he gave me a nasty look.

"No," I replied.

"I think that's enough explanation. She's a victim as well," Joshua stepped in. The man was on the verge of making me into an accomplice but dropped his queries. He stepped away soon after I had said what I said. Joshua Kim stayed behind. "Are you alright?" He asked me, crouching down.

Why is he concerned about me all of a sudden? It's not like he should care.

"What do you think?" I gave a vague reply. He seemed put off by my evasiveness. This isn't what I was supposed to say to a question like that.

He raised an eyebrow at me. I might look like I've got a lot on my mind. A lot of questions once again. I tried swallowing them down to my stomach but they kept rising in my throat like bile. "Mr. Kim, does this happen to you often?" I stammered.

"I think it's about time you start calling me Joshua," he said with a slight frown.

"Don't dodge my question." I folded my arms, trying to keep aside the funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. He stood up for me and now he's asking me to drop the formalities. Isn't this a drastic transformation after what I did? I threatened to kill him and now im shaken when someone died in front of me.

"Not always," his gaze shifted to my hands clasped around my bag. The things that make a person suffer the most are things they attach to themselves and I have attached things beyond imagination to myself. It's not whether I feel responsible and act fine around situations like these or give up. I have to cope with it although the latter seems like a good option.

"Are you able to get up now? We should leave." He stood up first and extended his hand toward me. I held onto his palm and pushed myself forward to stand on my feet. My head spun immediately like I was still experiencing a shock.

I stumbled on my foot but Joshua caught me. He helped me to my feet. Despite being a nuisance I had the audacity to speak. "Thank you. By the way, when you said I should call you Joshua, were you for real?" I put my question forward, I felt like I was carrying a massive force within me because my body was about to give out again but I couldn't dare leave myself to the vulnerability so I held my posture and tried keeping my limbs together.

"Yes, we've been conversing for quite a while and I think it only gets awkward. Your attitude toward doesn't require formality," that's a nice and sarcastic way of explaining why I shouldn't be formal.

He just called me rude, didn't he?

He kept his subtle grip on my arm as he practically carried me to the car. "Okay, Joshua it is then," I pulled my arm away slightly, trying to take hold of my body and step away. The heat radiating from him made me too conscious of the situation we were in. Have I ever been this close to him for more than a second? I could see an awkward glance that he threw my way as he let my arm go from where I stood. I could start by blaming him for what I had to go through instead of trying to understand him in the process. That's what any person might've done and yet, I can't help but worry about him.