Scared to live ; Scared to die

~ Quinn ~

I wake up beside Jazz this morning. I saw her last night with Larry, she doesn't know. I pull my arm from under her gently & watch her. I love her so much, so much, but I wont let any girl just take advantage of me. I look at her small frame & rub her soft hair until she wakes up. " What ? " she smiled caressing me, noticing the tension that had spread across my face. " Last night-" I breathed just praying she wouldn't lie " where did you go mommy ? " I said looking deep in her eyes. Her care free smile had left & she sat up like she was nervous, " I went for a walk. " she said, simple, like she had nothing to hide. I clenched my fist. At first the room was silent. I had nothing to say to her, she had lied right to my face. I picked up my luggage, washed, & told her we were done. Every word I said about her being a slut I meant but still I knew I loved her & with every word it hurt me. She held me by my waist & said she was sorry, I seen the look in her eyes, i knew she was but I couldn't forgive her. She had lied like my mom, like my dad, like I did so many times to myself, she was out of my life.