Will It Ever Be The Same?

Chapter 8: The Pain

CALLIE's POV:

The preparations for Brandon's wedding are getting intense. In fact, now that I think about it, there's less than two weeks until their wedding. Today, all the girls are going dress shopping for Catherine, but since I know she doesn't want me there, I'll just act sick. But, I actually do feel sick lately. I know I should be enjoying every moment I have left, but I kind of want to..to kill myself. Maybe then all this misery will be over. Maybe then I won't have to think, "What if?" for everything. Maybe I can end my eternal misery. But, I can't. I have to stay strong and be here for B and Jude.

My thoughts were interrupted by Stef's voice. "So are you ready love?" For a minute I was really confused. "Ready for what, oh wait! Dress shopping." Stef laughed at me. "Stef, I know today is an important day, but it's not a good day for me. I don't think I can make it up and down the streets that many times. Everything just hurts today. Is it okay if I skip?" "Sure love. I'll le Cath know. B will be home, so just get some rest and tell him if you aren't feeling well." "Okay," I said quietly.

It was silent in the house once the girls left. Apparently Jude and Jesus wanted some 'bro time' so they went to the movies. I was smiling foolishly while out of nowhere Brandon showed up. "Whatcha laughing there for Cals?" "I just realized that whenever the girls go shopping, Jesus and Jude leave too. I'm always left alone with you." "And that's a bad thing because?" "Nothing," I said as I shoved B.

BRANDON's POV:

Callie was so strong. She was trying to be old Callie, but I could feel that she was in pain. I didn't want to ruin the mood, but I knew I had to. "Callie, honestly, how are you feeling nowadays. And don't say fine because I know you aren't fine." I could tell I had ruined the mood because she stood still staring at her feet for  a few minutes then she said, "The pain is what hurts the most." And I responded by saying, "What is the pain? What's causing you the pain?" And she said, "B, I can't explain. Sure my lungs hurt and I can barely walk, but that's not it. It's the external and internal pain. It's taking over. I feel like there's no other reason to live. There is nobody whose life I've impacted. So, I don't see why God can't just let me leave already." I was crying, but she just stood there still. I didn't know she felt this way. "Callie, you have and forever will have impacted my life." Then I hugged her tighter than I ever have and we just sat and cried.

I remember seeing the broken girl on the first days she had come to our house. She was even more broken than she was then. And the worst part was that I couldn't make it better.

After a while I started to get hungry. "You want anything to eat?" I asked Callie. She was hesitant before she said sure. I went to work making my famous pancakes. I wanted to surprise Callie. "Don't look Callie," I kept saying. She said, "Why do I have the feeling that you're poisoning me?" and she laughed. Once I finished making the pancakes, I set them on the table. "Mmm, B's famous pancakes. I've always wanted to try these." We ate in silence for a little bit. "These are delicious!" she said. I just mumbled a thanks.

CALLIE's POV:

Brandon made me the tastiest pancakes ever. At least I got to taste them once before I left. After a little bit of awkward silence, B decided to break it. "You know Catherine never appreciates my cooking." I rolled my eyes and said, "Stop comparing everyone to Cath. She's great." He laughed, but right then Catherine came in. She came straight over and basically ate Brandon.

I went to the living room to talk to Mariana. "How does the dress look?" Mari excitedly replied, "Oh it's gorgeous. It makes Cath look so pretty. B's gonna go goo-goo over her," this was when she realized what she was saying and said, "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just-," and at this time I felt the need to interrupt her. "Mariana, it's okay. She is marrying Brandon. She is going to be my sister-in-law." I said this slowly and precisely as if I was trying to let myself know that this was what was happening. "I know Callie, but I still feel like it was my fault you had to witness this." "It's okay Mariana. It had to happen," was all I said before I squeezed her into a giant hug.

JUDE's POV:

I haven't had much time to talk to Callie after she came back from the hospital. I know it's really hard for her. I can see how much it pains her to look at B and Catherine. The moms would help if they knew what was happening. Catherine reminds me of Talya for some reason. She's too clingy and way to forceful. I walked into Callie's room before dinner time. I wanted to talk to her about the wedding even though it would hurt her.

"Hey Bud." "Hey Callie. Can I talk to you for a little bit" "Of course Jude. What's up? Is something wrong?" "No, no. How are you feeling?" "About my injury?" "Well, yes that and the wedding.  I know it's hard for you Callie, but I mean, the wedding is in less than two weeks. How are you doing with it?" "Ju-," she started, "No. Callie. I want you to answer me truthfully." "Jude you know it's complicated. B is happy and that's what makes me happy. I mean Catherine.. well he could've picked someone better, but he makes her happy and she makes him happy and that's what is important. Brandon needs to move on and so do I. I'm not going to be here for much longer and I want to go knowing that B is happy." "Callie, what if you make it I mean I don't want you to get even more sick, but the treatment seems to be working. Maybe you can live. Maybe you have a chance. Then , I don't want you to live sadly." "Well Jude, I don't think I'm going to respond to treatment that well. The internal pain is worse than the external pain. My body hurts, I mean of course it will. I'm dying. But, every time I look at B all I can think about is what we had. And what we'll never have again. That wedding will be the happiest and saddest day of my life. It's the day my best friend gets marries, but it's also the day I lose my best friend forever." "I understand Callie. I'll be here with you for it all."

BRANDON's POV:

While I was walking out of the bathroom, I heard Callie talking. I stood and listened. I love her too. I can't bear to think of life without her. I hope she realizes this. Suddenly, the door opened. "What are you doing here?" Callie asked me. I had to think of a cover. "Moms wanted me to call you down for dinner." That was all I could say to her. We head downstairs.

We were all talking when Jesus burst inside. It was pretty ironic because Moms were talking about how Jesus and Callie were the only two siblings that didn't bond much. Moms asked him why he was so mad and why his hand was bleeding. He ran outside, but when he looked at Callie and a single tear drop fell down his cheek, I knew why. And I knew that it had something to do with Liam.

A/N: So here's the new chapter. I know it's been a while since I last updated, but like many other fanfic authors, I have had a huge writer's block. I've finally figured it out and I know how I want the storyline to move. This fanfic is coming closer to an end though, but I am thinking of a possible sequel in Brandon's POV (if this fanfic ends in an interesting way ;)). Please comment some ideas, so I can incorporate them into this fanfic. Thanks for reading <3.