Major O'Brien (A MASH 4077 fiction)

Bug-Out: Part 2 (5:2)

          Catherine didn't think she'd be leaving MASH 4077 as soon as she was. Well. the whole camp was coming with her. She sat in the back seat of an army jeep driven by B.J. Major Frank Burns was the front passenger and Father Mulcahy sat next to Catherine. All four of them wore their soldier helmets; hers and Major Burns' decorated with the Major Cluster insignia, while the Father's had a cross painted on the front.
Their jeep was following behind Colonel Potter, who was riding his horse, Sophie. The rest of the convoy of nurses, corpsman, and various other MASH personnel followed behind them in more jeeps, trucks, and buses. Catherine hadn't even seen Hawkeye or Margaret as they pulled away, leaving the explosions behind them. As one went off loudly, Catherine grabbed a hold of the closest thing to her: Father Mulcahy's hand. She jerked it back when she realized.
          "Sorry, Father," she said over the noise of the jeep. He patted her hand, which was now clutching her own knee.
          "It's quite alright, my child. We'll be safe, soon," he replied. Catherine nodded and then began to dig through her rucksack, pulling out a couple of bottles of coca-cola,
          "Anyone opposed to sharing? The drinks are on me," she said. B. J and the Father cheered and Catherine handed them both a bottle, after popping open the caps. Frank even drank from the same bottle as B.J, smiling smally at the kind gesture. The sugar helped lift the group's spirits for the next couple of hours as they drove until they reached an abandoned schoolhouse. Colonel Potter had slowed Sophie down to a stop and put his hand up to stop the rest of the convoy.
          "Halt! Convoy, halt!"Frank yelled, causing people in the rest of the line to yell the same to the vehicles behind them. Catherine leaned forward to talk into B.J's ear,
         "Wouldn't they all just stop when the vehicle in front of them stopped? What's with all of the yelling?" she commented, making the man chuckle. As the four officers exited their jeep, Colonel Potter gave Major Burns instructions on setting up the camp in their new home.
         "...gonna check it out for the O.R," Colonel Potter was finishing his detail as he dismounted Sophie, the Father walking over to him.
          "Uh, Colonel Potter, sir?" the clergyman asked.
          "What is it, Father?" Catherine didn't hear the rest because Colonel Potter passed Sophie's reins to her. Catherine wasn't nervous at all as she led the mare to some tall grass to graze. She petted the white striped running down Sophie's nose and calmly talked to her.
          "My parents had horses when I was young. I loved brushing their coats and braiding them. Id' stick flowers in their manes and matching ones in my hair. That was one of the things Alex said he loved about me," the repetitive motion of brushing Sophie's mane calmed the Major even more than the coca-cola had. "Did you know that Alex's family owns a ranch? We were going to move to Texas after we got married. His parents wrote to me, after Alex died; said I was welcome any time because I was like a daughter to them, even if their son was gone. But I don't know if I'll ever go there; not now."
          "Stand-by for the blessing!" Catherine heard Major Burns yell. She rolled her eyes as even B.J yelled towards the rest of the convoy.
         "Hear me, O Lord!" Frank yelled again, causing the Major to scoff.
         "You don't yell out every sentence the Father says, Sophie. Hawkeye and B.J were right, he is an idiot," Catherine whispered into the mare's ear, making it twitch.
         "Hunnicutt, O'Brien!" Colonel Potter called to the other senior officers and Catherine wrapped Sophie's reins around the horn on the saddle. She joined the two men at the front of the schoolhouse, pushing her braids behind her shoulders. Catherine had left her helmet on the jeep's back floorboard.
          "Yes sir, Colonel?" Catherine asked.
          "Come on, let's look over the building. With this retreat, there will be a lot of busted-up kids coming in here," the Colonel said to them.
          "Right," B.J replied as Catherine nodded in agreement.
          "Looks like an abandoned schoolhouse," the Colonel noted as they walked closer.
          "Fu Manchu Junior High," B.J responded. Frank ran up to the group,
          "Sir, conflict," he said.
          "What now?" Colonel Potter asked him.
          "We can't find the surgical equipment," Frank told him. Catherine's eyes lit up.
         "Oh! I saw a corpsman label the boxes I packed as 'Kitchen Utensils'," she told the other Major.
          "The ninnies," Frank commented, stomping away while blowing his whistle at the group.
          "Hunnicutt, O' Brien, do me a favor," the older officer started.
          "Name it, Colonel," Catherine said.
          "If I'm ever shot, don't let him lay a hand on me."
          "Same here," B.J replied, "I'd hate to have that whistle sewed up inside of me."
          "Agreed," Catherine chimed in.
          "Where the hell did he get that whistle anyway?" Colonel Potter asked the two.
          "Same place he got his diploma; a box of Cracker Jacks," B.J replied. As the Colonel went to try the door knob, the two surgeons and nurse heard a female giggling. The two men turned to look at Catherine.
          "Was that you?" the Colonel asked. Catherine held up her hands defensively,
          "I've never giggled like that before," she said quickly. Colonel Potter knocked again, but no one opened the door. Instead, the window to the left of the door opened. A bunch of Korean women looked back at the three officers. The lady in the front wore an army-camouflage tank top, tied to show her midriff, a long necklace wrapped around her neck once and falling just to her belly-button. She had large, red plastic hoops in her ears and a flower-patterned kerchief held back part of her hair. The ladies behind her were dressed similarly.
          "Who there?" The woman in the front asked in broken English.
          "Colonel Sherman Potter, MASH 4077."
          "Sorry, no appointment," the woman replied with a smile and gently closed the window. When Catherine realized what the women were, she felt her cheeks heat up as the women behind the window giggled. Colonel Potter turned to look at her and B.J.
          "No appointment? What does she mean, 'no appointment'?"
          "Today is Wednesday. Maybe the dentist is playing gold," B.J joked. Colonel Potter knocked on the door harder, but just like before, no one answered.
          "Let me try, Colonel," B.J jumped in, knocked on the door, then whistled. The woman from the window answered again, but this time opened the door.
          "Sorry. Everybody tired. Big night last night." She closed the door again.
          "Now, would you please come out here, madam?" Colonel Potter spoke to the door. Catherine couldn't change the shade of red her face had become, but spoke up,
          "Colonel, I think these are ladies of the evening...or rather morning," Catherine stumbled as the words came out, "or afternoon. Basically, whenever they're wanted. By men folk, that is."
          "Concubines? In a schoolhouse?" Colonel Potter asked again.
          "Well, they have to learn someplace," B.J replied. Catherine covered her face with her hands in shame.
          "Again," Colonel Potter pointed to the door and B.J knocked, then whistled louder. The woman came out, getting angry at the three officers, speaking Korean angrily.
          "Don't give me that static, lady. We're here to establish MASH 4077. You get your concubines out of here!" the Colonel argued.
          "Concubines?" the lady asked.
          "Out lady, now," he continued.
          "Business before war," she argued back.
          "That's what makes America great," B.J chimed in. Catherine rolled her eyes.
          "We're here on orders of I-Corps. General Irving R. Hamilton, commanding," Colonel Potter told the woman.
          "Oh! Binky!" the woman commented, clearly already knowing the general personally. B.J burst out laughing and Catherine shook her head, the red resurfacing on her cheeks. She giggled softly. Colonel Potter looked at the two in disbelief. A whistle blew and Major Burns came jogging up to the three officers and women, who were still standing in the open door.
          "Ready to set up the O.R, Colonel," Frank said.
          "Stand-by, Major," Colonel Potter told him. Frank finally noticed the women.
        "Who are they? Are there people living here?" He asked.
         "The Assistance League," B.J told him, joking.
          "Assistance League?" Burns didn't understand the joke.
          "The oldest profession," B.J kept going, putting Frank on.
          "A bakery?" Frank asked, looking excited. Catherine looked at him, rolling her eyes.
          "How do you think that bakers are the oldest profession? It's a brothel, Major Burns," she told the man. He was suddenly not as excited as before.
          "A den of iniquity? In this building?" Burns asked again. Catherine patted his shoulder,
          "No worries, Major, we sterilize everything before surgery, anyways." B.J laughed at her joke.
          "Disgusting! Colonel, request permission for an armed squad to remove them by force," he started blowing his whistle loudly in their ears until Colonel Potter yanked it out of his mouth,
          "Confiscated! Get cracking!" The Colonel turned to the women, "Look lady, you have to move. We're using this building for a hospital. You've got to set up your...shimmy palace...in another spot."
          "No," the woman tried to shut the door again, but Colonel Potter wedged his boot into the space to keep it from closing all of the way.
          "Listen, sister," Catherine chucked at the older man's attitude. The woman jerked the door back open.
          "Me no Catholic."
          "We'll put all of you in one of our trucks. We'll take you any place you wanna go," as the Colonel and B.J discussed what would make the Korean women want to move out of the schoolhouse, Catherine saw the women perk up...at Klinger, who was straightening his "Klinger Collection" of dresses on a rack. The group of ladies came running out of the house, past the three officers, yelling "ooh, dresses!" and started rifling through Klinger's clothes as if it was a year-end sale. Catherine watched Klinger become agitated and start arguing with the women, pulling his dresses from their hands.
          "Colonel Potter? May I go talk to him?" Catherine asked and the older officer nodded. Catherine walked closer to Klinger, who had tackled and was wrestling a young, Korean woman over a teal, floral dress.
          "Klinger?" Catherine called to the well-dressed man, who promptly ignored her until Colonel Potter blew on Frank's whistle to get the man's attention. Klinger's foot had the young woman pinned down by her hip as she struggled to break free.
         "All present and accounted for, ma'am!" He said as he saluted.
          "You can let her go. Can we talk for a minute?" Catherine asked him. Klinger let the woman stand up, but not before threatening her as he pulled her away from his clothes.
         "Put that back on the rack, next to the pink chiffon. And watch the collar; it's simulated raccoon," Klinger stood next to Catherine, "you wanted to talk, Major?"
         "Klinger, those ladies really love your dresses and honestly, probably need them in their..." she cleared her throat "...line of work. I think if we let them have the Klinger Collection, they'll let us have the building to set up the new hospital."
         "I've got 300 clams invested in those dresses! They're gonna ruin 'em! Look at my black sheath," he whined. Catherine took one of his hairy, dark olive-toned hands in hers and rubbed the back of it gently.
         "Of all the people who understand how much it costs to dress well; it's a woman. How about I have a few of my dresses sent here from home and every trip I take to Tokyo or Seoul, I'll get you a new dress or the material to make one," she offered.
          "But my blue chiffon. It's from Murdoch's of Toledo. My pearls won't go with anything else," Klinger replied, grabbing both of her hands in his, "It took me three years of my life. Alterations. Sewing my fingers to the bone. Staying up all night studying the Monkey Ward catalog. Fighting my way through snipers for a month-end sale at Wangs of Seoul."
         "Klinger, we're going to be getting a lot of wounded soldiers in here soon and without an O.R we're gonna lose them. What if one of them is from Ohio? From Toledo?" Catherine asked. Klinger finally nodded.
          "Only because you're asking, Major. Okay," Catherine looked over to the Colonel and nodded.
          "Ladies, the clothes for the building. It's a deal?" the Colonel asked the Korean women, who cheered. Very quickly, the rack was empty and the women were running off. Colonel Potter came and joined Catherine and Klinger.
          "Corporal Klinger, that's the finest act of bravery I've  ever witnessed," he said, patting the man on the back.
          By the time night fell, most of the O.R was unpacked and B.J and Catherine sat on the floor of the schoolhouse, sharing a partial sleeve of saltines that B.J had. Catherine's head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed from tiredness.
        "Do you think they're okay?" she asked her friend. B.J also had his eyes closed, the business of the day finally settling into their bodies.
          "Yeah, they'll be okay. Hawk would never put Hot Lips and Radar in danger. The weather looks good, so the chopper they called for will be there just after dawn and they'll head this way," he replied. Catherine nodded, despite knowing B.J couldn't see.
          "Do you have any kids, B.J?"
          "I do; a daughter. Her name is Erin. She was so little when I got shipped here. You?"
          "Alexander and I talked about it. He wanted kids and I think I did too, at one point. Now, I don't know. It's hard to picture the rest of my life without him when he had become such a big part of it," Catherine replied. She hadn't realized how tight her throat had become and how watery her eyes were until the tears started falling, "do you..." she started,  "...do you think people can have more than one love in life?" She asked. For the first time, B.J opened his eyes and looked at the woman who was slowly becoming more like his sister than just his friend,
          "Hawkeye seems to think so," he joked, "but sure, I think you can have more than one love in your life."
          "I have until the end of the book, right?" Catherine asked, making B.J raise an eyebrow. Catherine laughed at his expression.
          "In most romance novels, the couple usually gets together at the end," Catherine explained.
          "Major? Captain? We just got word from I-Corps; we pushed the Chinese back. We're going home," Klinger came into the makeshift hospital and told the two officers. B.J sighed and looked at her,
          "I'll pack up the 'Kitchen Utensils', you start telling Klinger where the equipment goes," Catherine told him. B.J nodded and stood up, extending his hand to Catherine to help her stand up. It was going to be a long night and a long morning.
          By the time everything was loaded back onto the trucks. Catherine was exhausted. The past thirty-six hours had been a whirlwind and all she wanted to do was shower and take a nap. The sun had just begun to rise when the convoy pulled out, headed for home. Catherine sat in the front of the jeep with B.J this time and lightly dozed, leaning on his shoulder. When she started to wake up, she could see the beginnings of the camp buildings and heard Major Burns yell,
          "Convoy, halt!" Her ears were going to hurt for a week. Radar, Major Houlihan, and Hawkeye came running from camp to the Colonel, who once again led the convoy while atop Sophie. Radar saluted the Colonel and then ran off to see Klinger and Catherine figured, to check on his animals.
          "What's the scoop?" she heard Hawkeye ask.
          "Our boys beat 'em back. We're coming home," Colonel Potter told him and Major Houlihan.
          "Thank God!" The older nurse said. Major Burns hopped out of the jeep to go see Major Houlihan, leaving Catherine, B.J, and Father Mulcahy to watch from a distance.
          "Oh, Frank, we were surrounded by Chinese. They were breathing down our necks," Major Houlihan told him.
          "It tickled, but I kinda liked it," Catherine heard Hawkeye joke. She leaned towards B.J,
         "Nothing seems to dampen his libido; even enemy fire," she whispered, making B.J laugh loudly.
          "Get aboard, Houlihan," the Colonel said to the Major, who extended a foot to Hawkeye, to help give her a boost. Frank guestered a thumb to Catherine, who obliged and crawled into the back seat with the Father so Frank could be shotgun again.
          "Yo!" Colonel Potter called and the convoy slowly rolled into camp. Hawkeye hopped into the jeep, half-way landing on Catherine's lap, causing her to yelp. He clapped a hand on B.J's helmet and shoulder, then snuggled between Catherine and the Father, putting an arm around both.
          "Did you miss me?" He asked the auburn-haired woman.
          "Actually, I did. I'm glad you're safe, Hawkeye," Catherine replied. The Captain surprised her with a quick kiss on the cheek, making Catherine blush a deep red.
          "I'm glad you're okay too, Kitty Cat."