Oneshot-collection fanfiction Thai-BLdrama edition *request open

Safe place - Zeenunew

Summary: Zee had never thought he would have another person as a safe place. His home were no longer four walls surrounding him, it was a soft expression with a cute giggle and a pair of arms.

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Zee had been in the entertainment industry for a long time, he knew about fanservice and both sides of being famous. It was rewarding at times, but it was also a burden other time. Zee had built himself up and he had hit rock bottom, but he managed, and he prevailed and now he was at his best year. His life experiences were what made him seem cold and scary. He held himself with pride and learned to be aware of other people. To not give too much of himself as it would only backlash eventually. He was reserved and wouldn't let people get too close. However, he knew he had to grow constantly, and he knew he had to work hard but sometimes all the pressure seemed to be too much. On good days he would be the perfect actor, singer and model, on bad days he couldn't even get out of bed.

Luckily there were most good days.

On the outside, Zee seemed strong and mature, he seemed like he knew what he had to do and was professional and perfect in the public eye. However, what most didn't know was that Zee had a form for anxiety. His head could sometimes trick him, and he would get stuck in his mind with thought that told hik he wasn't good enough and he was missing something, that others didn't like him and that he always was wrong and could only be a disappointment. On such days, Zee curled up in his apartment bedroom and hoped for tomorrow to come quickly. He didn't eat and neglected his own health. He worked himself harder as if to prove, at least to himself, that he could be just what he wanted and that he was just as good as everyone else.

That was before he met Chawarin aka Nunew.

When Nunew came into Zee's life he was a force to be. Nunew wasn't forcing himself on Zee. He was just there. At first Nunew was scared of Zee, he would hold back and keep his distance. However, something about Zee had Nunew's curiosity peek through. He wanted to know more about the reserved man and along the way he really respected Zee. Nunew could see he was hardworking and under the cold gaze was something kind and caring. Zee had eyed Nunew when he joined the agency. He had heard the cover songs and observed the younger. Zee was sure that Nunew would do great. He was also slightly interested in the younger as he could see the raw talent the younger male had. However, Zee kept his distance, he had enough in himself, and it seemed Nunew was avoiding him. Besides, P'aof had paired Nunew with Park, so Zee didn't have an excuse to be closer to Nunew. Nunew was kind, caring and honest. He was a ray of sunshine in the otherwise dull world Zee had made for himself.

It wasn't love at first sight; it wasn't even love in the beginning. Nunew and Zee slowly gravitated towards each other, with some help from Net and P'aof, Nunew and Zee started to get closer. P'aof had admitted that Nunew and Park wasn't a good match and since Zee had expressed his interest in Nunew, P'aof had reluctant agreed to pair them. At first it was awkward, and their interactions seemed forced. But slowly they both opened up.

Max was the first to notice the change. He had known Zee since the start of Domundi. He had seen Zee at his worst, and he had been there when Zee worked himself up again. He knew about Zee's anxiety and insecurities. But Nunew seemed to make it all better. Zee became soft spoken and caring, not that he wasn't before, he just didn't do it in public, but that changed when Nunew came. Zee said it was Nunew that started, he was the first to show care and kindness to Zee. Nunew was touchy, he liked skinship and hugged everyone he met. Even of the other person didn't like it. Even James, who were known for being introvert and more reserved than any other in Domundi. Actually, if Zee should say anything he had observed, it was that Nunew changed them all. His honesty and sincerity were his strong points and people could help but like him. Max kept saying Zee had changed, even Poppy said it. He seemed more open and caring than before. He would tease and play with Nunew and the other. Something he didn't do much before. He wouldn't stiffen when someone hugged him, and he would even give a hug back. So, yea Zee had changed quite a bit. Even his fans said it.

That was what scared Zee the most. His fans pointed out how he unintentionally kept looking at Nunew when they had an event. How his hands found Nunew's waist without him thinking about and how he seemed lost when Nunew wasn't with him. Before Nunew, Zee could have an anxiety attack at least once a week. But now he couldn't remember when he last had an attack, not since Nunew came into his life and Nunew seemed just as smitten with Zee ad Zee was with Nunew. Though Zee still kept insisting that Nunew was the one more in head over heels than him.

Zee found himself searching for Nunew every time he felt sad or down. He called Nunew at least once per day and when they hadn't an event together, Nunew would spam him in line just to hear about Zee's Day. At times Zee even couldn't believe Nunew was 9 years his junior. Nunew had a maturity beyond his age, and he was very smart. Zee had seen him do homework once and even encourage him on an exam. He had been shocked at the speed Nunew had worked through his homework and how well he did on his exam. It was all just a reminder of how talented Nunew really was. 

Over time Nunew became bolder and less shy, though he still had his shyness from time to time. Zee liked his soft expression and when Nunew hugged him he felt safe though he was supposed to be the older. Nunew had become more himself too, he was teasing Zee back and had also started to prank him. He would gladly tell Zee about his day and at some point Zee had also confined in him. Zee had told about his experience and about his life. He had even taken Nunew to see his family. Nunew's parents had also seen Zee. That day was stressful for Zee, he felt like he was about to ask Nunew's parents about permission to marry Nunew. Though it wasn't like that, at something they had discussed about possible relationships and what to do when or if one of them got another partner. Zee, without really thinking it through, had told Nunew he would be jealous. Nunew had giggled and hidden behind the blanket he had. Shyly he had admitted that he would be jealous too if Zee found another partner. They didn't talk about it again.

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When Zee entered his apartment that evening, he smiled when he noticed the extra pair of shoes in the hall. He had given Nunew a spare key to his apartment for emergencies but lately Nunew had been there when Zee came home late from work. Either Nuenw was asleep on the couch or making late dinner for Zee. Zee didn't know when he had changed from hating to share his personal space with others to letting Nunew do what he want including invading Zee's personal space and apartment. Zee silently took his shoes off and walked into the living room. Just as he anticipated, Nunew was asleep on the couch. He was curled up in one of Zee's hoodies who were way to big for him. As Zee approached Nunew, he could see that Nunew hugged Zee's bedroom pillow. A light chuckle escaped Zee as he got a blanket to cover Nunew.

As Zee sat beside Nunew, he felt sleep claim him and as he slowly drifted off to sleep, his last thought was:

You are my home
My safe place
My teerak
My Nhu

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Author notes: Maybe it makes sense, maybe it don't, but it was on my mind. Hope you like it