Love At First Heard

PAGE 8

Ilang buwan na ang lumipas, akala ko wala na akong kahit na anong pagkagusto sa'yo. Lalo na, nagsimula na ang klase at marami na ulit akong pagkakataon to meet someone na mas magugustuhan ko ng higit kaysa sa'yo at nakikita ko pa.

Pero anong gagawin ko?
I'm still hearing your name... and voice.

Na ikwento kita sa mga kaibigan ko at binalaan ako ni Nico, one of my best friends. He told me that you're a womanizer. That I shouldn't like you kasi hindi no deserve yung kagaya ko, pero ako ba? Deserve ba na magustuhan mo ako?

"I'm your bestfriend and I can't let you go like that to someone I don't know. Nakilala mo lang online naging ganiyan ka na sa kaniya? Think about it carefully. Kaibigan ko kayo kaya ayaw ko ng nasasaktan kayo. Kaya payong kaibigan lang, huwag kayong magagalit sa akin." My friend said.

I understand him for being over protective, dahil yung dalawang kaibigan namin ay may mga manliligaw na pero hindi niya masita dahil hindi niya naman ka close yung mga lalaki at hindi din niya kilala, nakikita niya lang.

"Forget him," As if I can...

I heard so many rumors about you and I tried to listen about those rumors. Maybe, in that way my feelings for you will be gone, but It didn't.

I tried to move on, so many times, but everytime I see your post, your pictures on my phone from your  facebook account, or things that are related to you. I feel like I'm missing something and I need to go back to get that important thing.

So, I really go back. I decided to read our conversation. From the start of our conversation until my last messages. And then, I realized something... we never said goodbye to each other. We never tried to say goodbye, kaya siguro hindi ako makawala sa isiping ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon?

While reading your first messages, I feel relieved. There's my heartbeat beating so freaking fast. There's no doubt, I really like you. I'm in love with you and I can't stop myself but to fall in love with you again and again.

But when I read the last part... I feel disappointed, dahil wala akong nagawa para ipagpatuloy yung nasimulan nating usapan.  Wala akong nagawa kung hindi putulin ang connection natin, yung nararamdaman ko para sayo.

I thought we're close, but we're too far away para matawag na magkaibigan. Strangers, classmates, a leader... that's who I am. I shouldn't feel this way. I'm just hurting myself.

For the last time, I tried to read our conversation. Sinubukan ko muling alalahanin yung mga panahong akala ko may chance pa ako na makilala siya, mga panahong malakas pa yung loob ko na kulitin siya, yung mga panahon na kinikilig pa ako sa mga sinasabi niya kahit about lang naman sa subject yung pinag uusapan namin.

"I tried Acedhelo," I whispered while looking at the blue sky, crying.

"I... I like you, Acedhelo." That's the word I want to say to you.

Leaving my tears on my face I tried to whisper once again. "I miss you." I bite my tongue just to stop my tears go down to my face, but It didn't help.

Paano na lang kung nagtuloy yung usap natin?

Just what if hindi ka na lang bumalik sa okd school mo?

Just what uf magkaklase tayo ngayon?

Is there a chance that you'll forget about your bestfriend and accidentally fall in love with me?

"Paano kung simulan ko ulit yung naputol nating usapan?" I asked while looking at the mirror. "Can I say 'Hi' to you? How's your school? Kumusta ka? Are you okay, do you still remember me? Do you mind If I ask you? Or you'll just leave it cause I'm nothing for you but your classmate in the past?"

For a second, na attempt ako na kumustahin siya through messenger, pero agad din akong huminto dahil hindi naman tama yun, may sarili rin siyang buhay at ayaw kong guluhin yun just because of what I feel about him.

"Stop, Rem." I said and wipe my tears. "Tapos na Rem, tapos na ang termino niya sa buhay mo."

As I close my eyes, tears flow down to my hands and hear it sounds like a ball throw at the river and there's a bell sounds.

Bahagya rin na nag iba ang pakiramdam ko, feels like something happened while I'm still wide awake.

However, I saw myself inside the classroom. It looks like they're trying to wake me up but can't do that because someone's try to stop them.

As I opened my eyes, napag alaman ko na nakasandal lang ako sa balikat ng katabi ko. I thought it was my girl bestfriend, but he's not.

"You okay?" His baritone voice echoed.

That makes me stop moving, knowing that voice behind that person. I bite my tongue before I assume something I shouldn't.

Sinubukan ko pang umiling, inaakalang nananaginip lang ako. But no one knows kung gaano ko hinihiling na sana hindi ito panaginip, na sana totoong nadidinig ko ang boses niya, na totoo siya and not just a fictional character inside the books.

"I tried to stop them but they didn't listen. Your friends are worried about you, because you're crying while you're asleep." 

Again, i heard his voice..

"Are you okay? Is there something bothering you? Kanina ka pa umiiyak habang natutulog ka." With that familiar voice, he said those things like he really care about me.

"You keep saying his name too." Agad akong tumingin sa harap ko para makita lang si Nico, yung kaibigan kong nag try na warningan ako about Acedhelo.

"Ano bang napanaginipan mo?" My other friends asked, and then there are flashbacks.

From the first day that we met until our last conversation na hindi na nasundan. Days, weeks, months of moving forward. I thought It was really true.

"Your voice," I see his eyebrows furrowed.

"Uhm? Is there wrong with my voice?" He asked cluelessly, don't have a single clue how happy am I knowing that he's right here beside me, talking personally.

As I tried to look up just to see his face, my smile grew bigger. He's not just a fictional character inside a book. He's true and existing inside the universe I am in.

Finally, I met you!