I promised to myself that I will never ever message him again and try to move on. Pero isang linggo pa lang ang lumilipas at chinat mo ako, asking for a favor.
That time, while looking at your messages, my heartbeat keeps beating freaking so fast. Parang gusto na lang kitang hatakin mula sa cellphone ko, because I totally missed you.
"I forgot to turned in my homeworks, pero tapos na ako, nakalimutan ko lang talaga pindutin yung turned in. Sana tanggapin pa rin ito ni Ma'am!"
"She will accept it. Don't lose hope, your reason is valid. Hintayin na lang natin ma-seen ni Ma'am yung message mo."
"Nasa bakasyon na yung diwa ko eh." Sabi niya pa na tinawanan ko na lang, but then, I realized that after this semester, there's a big chance na lumipat siya, na bumalik siya sa dati niyang school.
We can't meet each other. Babalik at babalik kami sa pagiging istranghero. Pero bakit babalik, naging magkaibigan ba kami? We're just classmates in online class, i just heard his voice and never met him personally.
"Another thing, yung reporting natin sa isang subject... ni reschedule daw ulit and maybe hindi na matuloy dahil patapos na rin naman ang 4th quarter."
"Isa pa iyan, I heard the news about that subject and parang hindi na nga matutuloy."
"Ang mahalaga buhay tayo!" I replied to his message and see him reacting to my message.
"Parang hindi na nga eh," I laughed after kong mabasa yung reply niya sa sinabi ko and I said "Bubuhayin ka raw ng crush mo yieeee!"
But deep inside, hinihiling ko na sana ako na lang yung crush mo although hindi pa tayo nag memeet personally.
"Haha hindi nga ako pinapansin, napaka mapanakit mo naman!" I grabbed that chance to ask him more, kahit na masakit para sa akin atleast makikilala ko siya kahit unti.
"Try to do the first move daw kasi!" Pagbibiro ko, pero hindi ko inaakalang seseryosohin niya yun at mag simulang mag open up sa akin.
"I tried bri, nag first move ako, but then my bestfriend in 5 years got a new bestfriend and forget me." I feel sorry about him, he doesn't deserve it.
Kahit sino hindi deserve yun unless they do something wrong to their friends kaya lumalayo ito sa kanila.
But in his case, mukhang nailang yung bestfriend niya sa kaniya kasi Acedhelo like her and she knows it.
I can't think a word or a phrase na magpapakalma sa kaniya. I don't really know him personally. I don't know his problems, kaya hindi ko malaman kung anong payo ang ibibigay ko sa kaniya dahil hindi ko alam ang buong pangyayari.
Where should I start?
"Pinapaiyak mo ba ako?" He asked, and I reacted haha to his message because I don't know where and how should I start.
"Tumutulo na ba luha mo?"
"I don't know what should I feel, tapos iniisip ko pa yung activities na hindi ko na turned in. And then, about my bestfriend."
"It's just okay, ako nga umamin sa lahat ng naging crush ko and all of them rejected me, but I accept it. Kasama sa pag tanda iyan," I tried to be cool but deep inside, I want to comfort him by giving him sweet and comforting words.
Please, don't cry. Wipe your tears, she doesn't deserve it.
"But of course, parang hindi pa rin tama sa feeling ko, because she's my only friend in our school and I'm not used about our situation. Hindi ko na siya nachachat like last time, nakakapanibago lang."
This is my first time, hearing a confession from someone I don't really know. He like his bestfriend for a long time, and the day he confessed his feeling... her bestfriend in years leave him and they'll never be the same like they used to be.
That girl must be lucky to have Acedhelo's attention. However, It looks like she doesn't feel the same and like someone else too.
If I'm the girl that he likes. I'll stay by his side and tried to understand him. Give him a chance and try to enter a relationship.
But I'm not that girl, at mukhang may malalim na dahilan lang din yung babae kung bakit niya iniwan na lang si Acedhelo at hindi na pinansin. And maybe, she just wanted Acedhelo to move on, to move forward. Or maybe, she just wanted to focus on her study and not ready to go in a relationship.
"Cheer up! Maybe, if you're just a merman marami ka na siguro naiipong perlas because of your tears." Pagbibiro ko, pero hindi ko inaakalang magiging sanhi pa iyun ng pag ooverthink ko.
"Sigee na thank you Marem, goodluck sa reporting natin. Sana maging okay na this time."
I'm still awake in the evening, thinking about what I've said to him. Did I offend him? kasi d ko sineseryoso yung mga sagot ko everytime na may sasabihin siya sakin, open up about his life, his lovelife, his feelings.
But, What can I do? I don't know the whole story at hindi ko pa siya ganun kakilala. Iniingatan ko lang ang mga sasabihin ko dahil baka mamaya ay iba ang masabi ko.
Sanay ako na makakita ng mga taong tumatawa but when they're crying, I feel like I'm also going to cry because I can't do anything about what they feel.
"Goodluck sa buhay natin!" That's my last replied to him before he messaged me again the other day, asking about the reporting.
"Hindi tuloy reporting natin?" He asked.
"Parang ganun na nga, nag message ako kay Ma'am sineen naman pero hindi sumagot. Seenerist si Ma'am." I tried to tell a joke but he just try to seen it. "Slr" dugtong ko pa sa sinabi ko, pero mukhang wala na talaga siyang balak sumagot sa message ko.
That's the last message , his last message, his last question, and that's my last response to his question, to his message.
I never thought that our conversation will stop in that moment, akala ko kasi close na kami at masusundan pa yung pag uusap namin online kahit na tapos na ang klase. But I'm wrong, he... he ghosted me.
Ending na ba?
Should I move forward?
But how?
BINABASA MO ANG
Love At First Heard
Romansa(Done ✓) "Since I heard your voice... I fell for you." But because of that one incident that happened, we forgot the reality and relies to what we see. Only to find out that you're my moon that shines through my darkest hours. "The two of you will...
