🌷 ℝ𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕋𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝔾𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕤 | Bungou Stray Dogs Oneshots

death of snacks

Ranpo was on his lunch break and decided to enter a convenience store.

"I'm running low on snacks," He said, gaze sweeping over the small establishment. "I'm hungry, too."

He waltzed over to the aisle that normally stored the endless array of goodies. He walked it twice, but to his surprise, there didn't seem to be any snacks. He checked other shelves, but they were also plagued with the same problem. Where had they gone? He was becoming mildly frustrated.

Ranpo walked up to the cashier, who was smoking a cigarette. "Hello," He said, and the cashier looked at him through a cloud of smoke. "Where do you keep your chips?"

"Over on the second aisle from the right," He said around his cigarette, pointing at the area.

"I looked there, but all I could find were kale chips and banana chips." He pouted.

The smoker raised his eyebrows. "Aren't those what you're looking for? Chips?"

"No, I want potato chips," He explained.

He seemed puzzled. "Uh, potato chips? I'm afraid we don't have those,"

"What?" Ranpo cried. "No potato chips?"

"I'm afraid it's true, sir," He said, eyes wide and bewildered.

"How about potato sticks? Nori chips? Umeboshi chips? Rice crackers? Caramel corn? Panda biscuits? Pocky? Nothing?!"

Ranpo sprawled himself out on the counter, causing the cashier to step back."Maybe you need, like, a banana for your brain," He muttered, exhaling a puff of smoke.

"No! No bananas!" Ranpo shook his head, "Unless they're dipped and covered in a five-inch thick coating of chocolate."

"Why would anyone do that-! Ugh, can you please go?" The cashier cried, "You'll probably have better luck somewhere else."

"Fine!" Ranpo folded his arms and childishly turned away. "I forgot how to use my credit card anyway!"

And he sulkily stomped away.

Why wouldn't a normal run-of-the-mill convenience store sell snacks? It seemed absurd for them to be out. But then again, the cashier never said they were sold out or waiting for the next shipment. He only said that they didn't have it. Which was very strange because he'd gone to that specific store on a few occasions and they had every snack he wanted. Did the cashier simply forget that they sold them? No, because Ranpo had seen him working in the store on other occasions. He could have sworn that the same cashier was the one who restocked the Calbee Pizza Potato Chips last week when he came.

Ranpo placed a finger on his chin as he walked. Could they just be playing a prank on him? Seemed unlikely for them to randomly single him out, especially since he was a relatively frequent customer.

He decided he would try another convenience store, however, he encountered the same situation. No snacks. Not even at the corner store near the harbor, nor the store that was a few blocks away from the park. He even tried the store that was on the way up the mountain, but no luck.

Feeling quite upset and distraught, he decided to return to the Armed Detective Agency to complain to his co-workers. He opened the door to the building, and as usual, he saw the owners of the coffee shop that belonged underneath the Agency. Ranpo did a double take and saw that they were both smoking while filling orders. That struck him as odd. He didn't know they smoked.

He ignored it and went up the stairs to the Agency. The office was empty save for Yosano and Kunikida, who were working at their desks. That was not the surprising part. It was lunch break, so most everyone had clocked out to take their breaks. The surprising, and honestly quite alarming thing for Ranpo was the fact that both Yosano and Kunikida were smoking cigarettes as well.