Forged By Fire

ONE

That night, Mama had hugged him and kissed him and held him close until he fell asleep. Gerald had felt so warm and special and golden—he wanted to feel like that forever. He knew Mama loved him. She had bought him a G.J joe man last week and it wasn't even his birthday or Christmas or anything, most day she combed his hair and dressed him in clean clothes, and told him to say "Yes, ma'am" to grown folks.

And sometimes, on really good days, she would hug him and say "You know you're my best baby boy, don't you, Gerald? You know you're my best baby, don't you?" And he would smile and that warm, golden feeling would start at his toes and fill him all the way up to his smile. Even though Mama had yelled at him. Today was a good day. Mama always yelled— it was not big deal

(Some days he yelled back at her. Then she would slap him and he'd cry and he'd cuss at her and then she would slap him until his head hurt. So mostly he ignored her)

but today was a good day, he thought. The sun was bright gold outside against the clear blue sky. And inside the grocery store there were so many colors and sounds and lights that Gerald just grinned. It was always crowded when they went. Other children would be in cars also they would have pass very close to each other. Gerald like to pretend he was driving a big, fine sliver car down the expressway.

Sometimes the cart was a tank, as he passed cautiously through the rows of armed cling peaches the silent sentinels that looked like boxes of Frosted Flakes. And at the checkout lane, the armies rolled smoothly down the long black road that disappeared under the counter. He started to ask Mama where it went, but it was more fun to imagine that it went to a secret hideout where only sweet potatoes and boxes of oatmeal were allowed.

When they got home from the grocery store, Gerald sat on the floor and watched Mama stack the boxes and cans in the shelf. She was whistling—he had never heard her whistle before and he loved the way she laughs he tried to imitate her. She changed his clothes (and didn't yell at him for not being a big boy) and gave him two cookies and an apple. Then she went into the other room and came out, she had changed her clothes and Gerald's thought he had never seen anything so lovely. She had on her sparky fancy dress that Gerald liked to touch "Mama will be right back, Baby" she told him "I just had to go see Mr. Leroy for a minute. You stay here and wait for me, you hear?"

Gerald started to cry, but he didn't want mama to lose her good mood, so he just nodded and bit his lip. The door closed and he could hear her high heels clicking on the steps. Then it was very, very quiet. After he finished both his cookies and the apple had turning brown on the white parts, Gerald looked for something to do. It was getting dark and he wanted G.I joe to sit with him because the shadows on the wall were getting long and scary.

He found G.I joe on the floor next to Mama's bed, right next to the cigarette lighter that she had been looking for this morning. Gerald picked it up for a time he used it as a gun for joe, then it was a log for joe to jump over, then it was an enemy for joe to attack.