Both/And

Chapter 15: Little Joys

"It's OK, Peter – go on. Loki knows you're coming," Shuri says, gently nudging him toward the entrance to the room. Peter takes a deep breath and steps in.

Bucky stands and stretches, "It's alright – and he had a nap. I'll leave you folks alone for a bit." He turns to Loki, "Let me know if you need anything, OK?" Loki nods. Bucky pats his shoulder, "Hey...don't hesitate." Loki smiles at him and Bucky smiles back.

"Thank you, James."

Bucky slides by the teens at the door, "It's alright, kids. He's doing a little better."

Loki looks to Peter and nods, "Hello, Peter."

Peter nervously shifts his weight, his hands in his pockets, "Hi, Mr. Loki. I...I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing."

"A little more steady," Loki answers, "I did quite a bit of damage, but I heal relatively quickly." Peter hesitantly approaches his bedside. Loki gestures to the chair Bucky was sitting in, "Please, sit."

"I don't want to keep you from resting or anything."

Loki sighs, "I understand this might be hard for you, but please...spend a moment with me?"

Peter slowly sits, "I just...don't know what you're supposed to say to somebody after something like this."

Loki folds his hands on his lap and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he responds, "You say what's on your heart, even if it's not the easiest thing to say."

"I don't want to say anything wrong and make things worse," Peter replies.

"You can't make things worse."

"I mean...what if I say something that makes you want to live even less and nobody's there to find you next time?" Peter asks, his voice trembling.

Loki meets his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Peter. I thought you would be fine without me."

Peter shakes his head, "How could you even think that?"

"Firstly, let's have Shuri join us, shall we?" Peter nods and Loki calls to her, "Princess? Will you please come sit with me, too?"

Shuri steps into the room with a small smile, a package in her hands, "How did you ever guess I was there, dear Prince?"

"Because it seems, these days, that where Peter is, Shuri is surely to follow," Loki replies, trying to smile back at her, "And I heard you talking to him before he came into the room."

"That would likely give it away," she says as she settles in beside Peter, "But it also means I know where you are in your conversation, so...please, continue."

"Why did you think we wouldn't miss you?" Peter asks, "I mean, we're friends aren't we?" Then he sighs, "I guess I shouldn't ask...I mean, I've been low before, too. Low enough I made some bad decisions and ended up in the hospital. I...I didn't think my friends would be there for me when I really needed them to be...." His voice trails off and Loki doesn't know what to say. He offers Peter his hand and Peter takes it.

Shuri offers him her other hand and he cautiously lays his bandaged fingers over hers, "I heal quickly – the wounds aren't nearly as bad as they were yesterday."

"I know. Thor told us it wouldn't be long before it was hardly noticeable."

"That doesn't mean I won't scar, though, Shuri."

She nods, "I understand. But you still haven't addressed Peter's question. Why did you think we wouldn't miss you?"

Loki falls quiet and then glances between the young hands resting in each of his own, "I...I saw how close you are to one another and thought about the lives you both have ahead of you. Peter, you protect a large community in your city and that will take you home and will occupy your mind well beyond the little time you've had with me. And Shuri, you will soon be queen and there will be no time for visits. You both will move on in your lives into new adventures, on different continents, and I on another. I didn't think you wouldn't necessarily miss me, but I did think you would be fine without me, the rest of your bright futures overshadowing our brief time together."