She stayed home for school the next day, and the day after that. She sat in her pajamas and watched TV. She was depressed. She knew she was, she knew what depression was. Numbness, feeling sickly, watching yourself slowly go crazy inside, and helplessness. She remembered the shiny, little, black box. She remembered running her hand over its smooth, polished surface. She remembered her mother hunched and sobbing. She remembered her father's blank stare. She remembered watching him lose himself, and she remembered losing him. She remembered promising to never let her mother worry. A promise she just couldn't seem to keep. She was so confused. Suga complicated her world even more, and it had already been so confusing. She grimaced and laid down. Her head pounded when she thought about it. Scarier thoughts permeated her mind. Why are we here? Is there any meaning to this? What happens when we're gone? Do we really make any difference? She took a breath and pushed the thoughts away with all her strength. She pushed it all down to the bottom of her heart, leaving her mind blank. Blank, and simple. The sound of silence. She smiled, relieved. Then the doorbell rang.
She stood and hobbled to the door. She opened it and rubbed her eyes at the bright, outside light. It was Suga. She groaned internally.
"Yes?"
"I just came to see if you were okay. Can I come in?" He looked at her concerned.
"No actually, my moms home." She lied. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her.
"Oh." He murmured disappointed.
"Is there anything else?" She asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, actually, there is. I was wondering if you were free tomorrow? I want to show you something else." He smiled. She desperately reached for a way out of it.
"Isn't there school tomorrow?"
"No, teacher work day." His smiled faded from his face.
"I don't know, my mom got really mad last time..." She trailed off. He was silent for a moment.
"Please? We haven't been talking lately, and I really don't want that. I don't want you to stop talking to me again. I just-please?" He pleaded with her. She caved, as usual. She sighed and nodded.
"Okay. Pick me up at 1."
"Thank you." He breathed. She nodded and opened the door.
"Bye." She waved.
"Bye." He murmured, and she shut the door. She sat back down in her sludge of depression.
What could he possible want now?
