trees + vine, a separate peace au

evie's september pt 3

"Okay, so what I first want you to do is sit at the chair behind the drum and just let out." Flo says, guiding me over to the chair.

"Let out?" I chuckle. "Flo, you do know that I barely even know how to hold one of these things, right?" I wave around the stick.

"Yes, I do. It's all part of the process, my young grasshopper. Just let the rhythm flow out of your fingers, feel it in your fingertips. Let whatever you're feeling up here," she points to her brain, "translate to here." She circles the drums with her hand. "I'm not expecting you to sound good, or even okay. I just want to hear sound. Oh, while I'm at it!" She replaces the sticks in my hand with another pair. "There. Can't let a beginner test out my babies, sorry."

"Understand." I throw my hands up in the air, taking a deep breath and 'letting out'.

It's somewhat harder than I thought. I don't know, but trying to even figure out what's going on inside my head is hard. I don't know how to translate it to rhythm. 

I just- how do I explain what I feel?

What do I feel?

Who do I feel it towards? 

It gets to the point where I'm jut banging on one drum for about 10 seconds, and then I'm lost in what I'm doing. 

I finish out with a beat on the silver thing? I actually don't know what it's called, I won't lie. But- it is fun to hit!

"Was-was that okay?" I look over at Flo, who's staring methodically at me. I can't tell if it's a good stare or not. 

"That was perfect." She smiles. "You let out. Might not be winning any Grammy's anytime soon, but you did exactly what I asked you to. I could see it in your eyes, the moment you let the music win. It was beautiful. I loved it." 

"Really? I feel like I sucked." I say, head down.

"Evie," she says, coming over to me, "no one ever learned how to do anything perfectly in the first ten minutes they do it."

"I know that. I just, I don't know. You just make it look so-so effortless."

She takes the sticks out of my hands and hold them. "You know who my dad is, right? Yeah, of course you do. Elijah Thayer, God's gift to music." She rolls her eyes. "You know, when I first told him I wanted to drum, I was seven years old. He'd bring us all into the studio with him, and would let us play with baby guitars, and baby keyboards, but that wasn't enough for me. I wanted to drum. So my dad, being who he is, got this little tiny me my first drum kit, and a lesson with one of the best instructors he could find. And I sucked." She laughs. "I mean, I was really awful. I came out of that lesson thinking that I was so wrong about drumming, and that I must've gotten everything incorrect. But, I worked at it, and now I'm here. This is what I'm meant to do, through absolutely any hardship or good moment. It sounds a little cheesy, but, it's why I get up in the morning, honestly."

"It doesn't sound cheesy. It sounds like you love what you do." I smile at her. "I feel like that sometimes, with acting."

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. Finishing a show, and feeling those lights hit me as I go for my final bow. Seeing everyone that worked on the show up there together. Makes me feel like the happiest girl in the world. That's what I want to do, I think. Be an actress."

"You're gonna be an amazing actress. Save a spot for me, when you get your Oscar?" 

"Always." I smile at her, and stand up. "You know, I'd really just like to hear you play, if that's okay. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do want to learn, really. But, the reason I want to learn is because of you. I mean, when you play, it's like nothing else matters. It's like, magnetic. I swear, when I listen to you guys, I'm barely paying attention to anyone else but you. Clare, Lep, Lyla, Phineas, they're all great, but me? I'm- I'm really only here for you." I finish.