ONLINE FRIENDS

Eighteen

You wouldn't know how love really feels like until you fall in love with that one person. You'd think that you knew how love really felt like until you meet them. I wouldn't deny the fact that i had some feelings somewhere in me for Mateo but the way i loved Audine was exceptional.

But the thing is, when you're in love you don't know what to do about it. Questions starts to find its way to your head and causes you a headache that's way worse than the terrible hangover after a heavy drinking night. What was i going to do about my huge amount of love i had for him? Should i tell him or keep it to myself? What am i even doing in the first place?

I didn't know what to do and it was kind of driving me insane because i had too much love for him that it was giving me heartache all the time. I was so in love with him and it got even worse whenever he spoke French. Every fucking French word was causing me to love him more and more even though we didn't understand a single word, which by the way was super embarrassing because seriously, what if he was badmouthing me or something? But it's the cute half French boy I'm talking about. He wouldn't do that even if it was necessary. Every French word he used made me feel like he was telling me that he loved me using his second language

Je suis fatigué aujourd'hui

I love you

Je n'aime pas ça

I love you

Je t'aime

I love you

And for the record, Je t'aime is the only French word i knew, or two words I'm not sure of it. The point is, i reached the level where i started to daydream about our future together and how the three words of I love you would still effect me so bad when he says them to me. All that without even confessing how i felt and without even knowing how he's going to react about it, but i bet it's going to be something like Merde.. She can't be serious about it along with some other curses in French

I didn't sleep much the night before and i woke up a little earlier than i usually do on weekends because i was excited. All i had in mind during showering and doing my hair that morning was seeing Audine. I may have spent too much time facing the mirror while straightening my hair than i usually do because i wanted to look presentable and less messier than i do when my hair is a wavy mess.

Downstairs mom was already dressed and a bag next to the door. I somehow forgot about her man coming this morning because i was too busy being excited about Audine. I got into the kitchen to find her there looking all beautiful and all. She was holding a mug in her hand and reading today's newspaper. He was picking her up any second but she didn't seem nervous at all. Not even a bit.

" You're up early" she said and i nodded. I wished i could tell her that i didn't even sleep well because of how excited i was, but not for her man, but for my boy

" Yes.. Kinda excited and all" i told her. Mom knew that Audine was coming over for the weekend. At first she gave me the motherly look but then I finished talking about how i am not going to stay alone with him and ended up saying yes

I've already invited him so there was no going back

I looked outside our window. The whether was cold and I'm sure i could see my breath in the air. Although i never enjoyed sunny days before but i hoped for those two days to be sunny because the past few weeks have been pretty rainy. I could see rays of sun peeking from behind the clouds so that was a good sign

Weird how when you're in love everything seems beautiful. Even the shiny mornings i usually whine about seem so beautiful today

" I can't believe I'm actually doing this" mom said so suddenly, bringing me back from whatever place i was in. Hearing mom saying this made me smile. I can't believe she's nervous despite not looking like she is.