THE OUTSIDERS - ALT ENDING

April 26, 1967 - PART 1/2

Cue KEANU REEVES and S.E. HINTON sat round a pristine white table on pristine white chairs, except all is not pristine and white, but rather ancient looking, for we have travelled back in time to April 26, 1967. They are sat in an old Victorian house I think, and they have little wooden blocks carved into the shapes of little microphones. They do not have microphones for this is the ancient times. Also BOB MARLEY is hidden up my a
KEANU REEVES : [clears his throat] I think
KEANU REEVES : They should dazzle him up in some proper dapper clothes right?
S.E. HINTON : [shrugs comically] WHO
S.E. HINTON : [finger guns] WHICH WHCIH GUY
KEANU REEVES : [ignoring her desperate cries] And resin encapsulate him into one of those triangles
S.E. HINTON : [sad] NOOOO
KEANU REEVES : So he can be with them forever <3
S.E. HINTON : I DONT LIKE WHERE THEI IS GOING
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"h   his   his burnt dapper corpse,,

And that's where it all began.

I imagined him with his arms crossed over his chest like a vampire, stood in a suit, cast in resin, sitting in the middle of PonyMan's living room,,
Ralph — publishers note, unreleased and scrapped character — likes DIY, and he convinced them to do it ythemselves but they stuck him upside down because they're twats, and so dumbass Ralph, whilst everyone's stood around this giant pyramid, silently crying and sniffling and wiping their tears, breaks the silence with "maybe,, we could use him as a lamp shade?,,, a-and stick him on the ceiling perhaps?"
And everyone looks at Ralph, red-eyed and sniffling and Ralph's stood there straight faced with a twinge of uncomfortableness..

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BOB MARLEY : [appears sexily] S.E. CLINTON, how did you think of this i'm intrigued
S.E. HINTON : no ii was actually forced it w
KEANU REEVES : [butts in hehe butt] I thought of it on the spot as I went along
KEANU REEVES : I imagined it
KEANU REEVES : That's just how I roll
BOB MARLEY : ralph, dear, i love you so much, but holy f*ck you're so stupid
KEANU REEVES : IN THE END THEY DO
KEANU REEVES : [getting excited] IF YOU IMAGINE IT COMICALLY, EVERYTHING PLAYS OUT IN THE SPEED AND CHRONOLOGYAS IVE DESCRIBED AND IT JUST CUTS FROM THEM STARING CRYING AT RALPH TO THEM STARING UP LIKE MOTHS AT THE GIANT PYRAMID LAMP
BOB MARLEY : [desperately] UPSIDE DOWN JOHNNY CORPSE RESIN CEILING LAMP
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At then I heard a booming voice.

"What's he hanging from?" Jesus Christ himself asks.

Well, if you must know they drilled a hole in the bottom, scarcely missing his left foot and then they filled the hole with resin and then squidged the loose light bulb hanging in the middle of their living room ceiling into the resin swamp and held the pyramid there.
Ralph was a little too short to help hold it though so he was awkwardly stood underneath directly under the point with his hand on it. Just like this- (I say, as I slip my hand upon Jesus Christ's defined cheek. To this he giggles.)
The real question — and you get to decide this because I'm the one who thought of the question — is it just Johnny in the "Proto-JohnnyCorpse™️ Hanging Ceiling Lamp" or does it have sparkles and flowers and unintentional bubbles in too?

"No it definitely has sparkles flowers and unintentional bubbles," Jesus Christ agreed quickly. He lets out a soft chuckle.

Okay how about ugly gold sequins, those tiny dandelions (not the big pretty ones, the ones that actually look like weeds, also they have the stalks on + loose dust/dirt) and the bubbles tinge it a swampy yellow-brown with the crappy light bulb? (with this I smile and nod, falling for Jesus' charm)

"Perfect," Jesus Christ whispered..

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S.E. HINTON : [raises her hand inquiringly] oh yes, I rememb
KEANU REEVES : ONE HAND AND HES JUST LIKE ☹️ BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE AWKWARDLY GLANCES DOWN AT HIM HE DOES A LITTLE ":D 👍 BUT USES THE HAND HE WAS HOLDING THE PYRAMID WITH
S.E. HINTON : y'a
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(At this point my hallucinogenic episode has ended and Jesus Christ has left my premises)
Everyone is facing inwards whilst they're holding the pyramid because they were all trying to centre it at first before they were properly holding it, and now they're all scared to let go. Someone said about getting Ralph to go get a table or something to try and match the height of it so they didn't have to hold it but everyone looked around, silently and unintentional agreed Ralph's been in charge of this scenario since he brought up DIY.

Ralph says, "No, I can't,,, I mean- it's good exercise, it's what Johnny would've wanted,,,,,"

Ralph looks down to add dramatical effect, glancing up to see everyone still looking at him so he quickly looks back down at the floor and starts fiddling with his hands and everyone else looked around, shared some agreeing grunts and just looked down too.

They didn't fiddle with their hands though because they're still holding the pyramid.

They managed to position Johnny with his arms just about crossed, however his head got dragged down when they dipped him because the resin is almost the same thickness as honey, and so now he's staring down at them, eyes slightly ajar whilst they all glue him to the ceiling.
Ralph keeps glancing up because he doesn't want the other Greasers to think he's staring at their shoes, even though he is, but he looks up anyways and keeps catching eye contact with this well-dressed burnt Johnny corpse stood coffin-stance squinting at him.
The others are still silently crying, and although they are sniffing, it's still quiet enough to hear the occasional *very quiet* collision of the Greasers' tears hit his crunchy denim jacket.
And every time, Ralph tries preparing himself for the next collision against his shoulders but he flinches every time. The more he tries preparing and tensing himself up, the more it catches him off guard.

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S.E. HINTON : [screaming] AHDJENJHA
S.E. HINTON : KEANU ITS TIME TO STOP
KEANU REEVES : No not yet. Not yet.
BOB MARLEY : meow
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Just saying Ralph has asthma for this one.
When they drilled the hole in the bottom of the "Proto-JohnnyCorpse™️ Hanging Ceiling Lamp", Ralph was in the other room shakily mixing up Part A and Part B Resin for filling up the hole and connecting the pyramid to the pre-existing ceiling lamp (and also the ceiling, Ralph mixed too much resin but the more the merrier, especially in these poor, depressing times..) Ralph entered the room, filled the "Proto-JohnnyCorpse™️ Hanging Ceiling Lamp" and then stepped back to let the elders hoist it up onto the ceiling and shuffle the ceiling light into the resin hole. All was done quickly despite them all mumbling barely audibly but they just have their ways with getting jobs done, and done good too. "This ceiling lamp looks totes fire," Soda exclaims through the hardest tears out them all, "absolutely bangin' yo"
Ralph is stood on the other side of the room in absolute horror of what he's started.
It's a couple minutes after when he walks over to go help hold it up that his asthma kicks in and the fine resin particles make him start spluttering, but he's holding it in as hard as he can so now they're all crying and sniffling.
Done.

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KEANU REEVES : the gayest
S.E. HINTON : [VIOLENT SOBBING]
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And that was it.

There were actually several different endings to The Outsiders that I had planned. Some of them with — believe it or not — anti-homoerotic representation. But I've learnt as much as possible about the history of people from April 26, 1967, and gay people? They are but cleverly hidden however discovered. It's true. All April 26, 1967 people are gay.

In the coming years, the number of alternate endings will continue to grow as homophobes find out about my works. With all these new domain name endings available though, including an anthropomorphic version for my good old furry friends out there, I'm almost sure there is going to be no hate towards my piece, The Outsiders™️.