Dear Husband

3

Dear husband...

Tonight's a blood moon. Yes, a blood moon night. Do you remember the first time you made me watch the moon with you, red, beautiful, big, so close to the earth, so close to us... You had made me fall in love with the moon Sidharth. I was never a star and moon kind of a person but you had made me fall for them.

We used to sit hours gazing the moon at night before going to bed. Remember those days Sidharth.. Ek Chand bhi kitna haseen lagta tha. Tum phone k us paar rehte the par fir bhi chand mei tumko pa leti thi. How horrifically abnormal and filmy this was but you my dear husband was exactly the filmy kind to introduce me to those innumerable things in life which I had never noticed before.

Like this blood moon tonight. Red, beautiful, big.. so close to the earth yet so far away.... Like we have drifted so far away!

You remember the day Sidharth when you introduced me to a blood moon? It was our wedding night remember. You had taken the effort to arrange for a private late dinner on the terrace. You had taken me there, blindfolded. I was so surprised to see the candles and the date you had arranged for your bride. It was so beautiful... And unexpected. I mean to think of you doing something so out of the box for someone was actually surprising. I knew you were never the romantic kind. Dates always bothered you. Exaggeration always irked you, yet you went out of your way to give me something so so special!

It was special my dear husband. So special. Especially when you made me look at the beautiful moon on the sky. So big and red, glowing, just like I was in your arms, atttired in red. You had explained me as to why it was red and all I did was to get myself lost in your glimmering eyes. You looked like a kid that day Sidharth. A kid who got a hold of his favourite chocolate!

Specially when you had undressed me right on the terrace, underneath the moon, with your slow rhythmic fingers caressing all over my body. And then, as the moon had come closest to the earth, the exact moment you had come the closest to me! Making us one for forever.. That's what you had said my dear husband whispering over my ears, while making love to me remember. "This moment, as the  moon descends closest to its earth, I make you mine.. for forever "....

How romantic it was Sidharth. That night, I had discovered a new Sidharth within you. A person who was so so romantic but in the most earthly way. A husband whose words had pushed me towards my elevation. A Sidharth who very skillfully hid this side from the world but bared it to me.

That was the day I came to know that my super unromantic husband is actually a selenophile in love with the moon. His moon! The one in the sky... and also the one in his arms!

Kaha kho gaya woh Sidharth mera.. Dear husband, I just can't seem to find that beautifully and idiotically stupid yet the most gorgeous husband of mine anywhere. You are gone, just like that blood moon and never seem to come back. It's been days that I've seen you Sidharth. Days! 6 days without a single video call and I like a stupid wait each night that you might be calling me before going to bed and that you might have been busy with your work.

But still Sidharth, is it worth it? Any work taking away the small little happiness of life, is it really worth it! We have created this miles of distance between us that just doesn't seem to reduce. I have no fu****g idea how to erase this distance between us . No fu****g idea!

I'm so sorry for the dots and the language. I know you hate it when I use such crude language. But i just couldn't help myself. I needed to get my heaviness out of my system and this seemed to be the best way. I wanted to shout this word at your face and unleash all my frustrations, but alas! I can't do that and again, you are nowhere near to listen to it.

So my dear husband, this was the best way I could get back at you. I know you might not never reach to these letters of mine to know the state of my mind that I've been going through, but with all due hope and wish, I pray that you should never reach them. Because if you do, then there is a high possibility that I'm not around you anymore to protect this little secret of mine.

Anyways, it's time I end my virtual fantasy filled talk with my husband and return to my lonely empty life once again. Yes, I'm lonely Sidharth. I'm too lonely without you. You are nowhere around me even though you claim to be there in my life, and I've no idea if we can ever be around each other again.

Still, I would like to live in hope. Because hope retains you till the end giving you every ounce of strength to keep on hanging.

Just the way I'm hanging for you. And I'll keep on hanging till the time I can.
Love you my dear husband, from the bottom of my heart and soul.

Yours and only yours,
Shehnaaz

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Sorry for being late guys. Just life catching up. So, how have you all been? And do tell me how are you liking the story? Should I continue this?

Do comment and share your feedback.

Love
Sanu
💓