Two Worlds

Chapter Eight: Boot camp part 3:: A perspective of another kind

Rin's POV

Rin was born in this world not knowing why everyone looked at him like a monster. The whispers and gossip. He was born angry and resentful for something he did not choose to have. He grew up with harsher punishments from his peers and elders. Despite his father's best tries. Rin's temper did not settle as he grew older. His frustrations mounted and his need for acceptance swallowed him.

Then the truth came out and he was left with regrets and guilt. Guilt that he has forced down and while he understood his brother had a right to mourn. It still hurt that he'd dig up his guilt and parade it around. He knows. Damn it he knows, dad is dead because of him. He knows his brother is just sad but why did he have to turn his sadness into anger against him? He was hurting too.

Rin buries it, he buries it deep within. He buries the fact that Yukio in a way has separated himself from him. As if they aren't both sons of Satan. He buries the envies that Yukio wasn't gifted the curse. That he can get away pretending to be the benevolent teacher wise beyond his years. Not the teenager he is with hurt in his heart. Daggers on his tongue that sometimes turns on him.

That he's stepped up when Rin is the oldest. He's supposed to be the one protecting. He's the one who should be in Yukio's position because he deserves better. He deserves a better brother than Rin.

He's such a fucking failure.

And though he's trying. He still can't catch up. He still can't take the reins, he still can't get that hidden bitterness out of Yukio's vision. He still can't seem to stop fucking up.

Then there's her.

Rin was clumsy, he has trouble focusing, can't seem to stay awake in boring lectures— the point rin is making is that she still seems to wanna hang around him. His crush on shiemi didn't seem to hold weight with his crush on her. As cliche as it sounds, Rin liked having someone to guide him back. Patient with him and shared his passions with. She took direction.

She wasn't perfect either but at least she pulled it together better. He liked everything about her. Her brown skin, that had a sun-kissed glow to it. Which was what originally caught his eye. Her traditional dark eyes that he swears light up to a gold when she's happy. It's like seeing the sun rise.

Her protectiveness. She was truly a bit frightening when she was angry but he's starting to tell when that anger is serious or not. Usually by how puffed her cheeks are and the cute pout she makes when she doesn't really mean it. Her two toned lips, he knows not to stare. He fights himself not to, truly— he knows it can come off creepy. But her natural features draws him in.

He hasn't had a rush like this, ever. Is this really love? It leaves him spinning. Chasing after her and God did he almost lose himself when she was injured out cold. Besides being his crush she was his friend. Can't do it again, lose someone that is.

He stayed, she didn't ask nor would she need to. He stayed by her side when he could. He took notes for God sake so she didn't have to. He put actual effort, geez. Is this just a crush? Rin wasn't sure anymore, he was just sure he'd be happy just having her stay by his side.

That is... till she confessed. Till she kissed him for the second time and he couldn't help but go in for thirds. He didn't get to savor the first one but he'll do it right this time. To tell her he felt the same. To want to do it a fourth time. If it hadn't been for shiemi they'd have been there for a long time. Embracing, he wondered if she felt his heart hammering or maybe hers was too loud. Whatever wash— caramel? Was intoxicating used by her. A girlfriend. Rin has never had a girlfriend. In Fact his brother seems to draw girls in more than him. But he'd be willing to give his broken heart to her.