Hiraeth: Belonging (II)

Chapter Seventeen

I crept past a snoring Felix in my cousin's television room, heading towards Derek's open door as fast as my tiny legs could carry me. I could see the dim glow of his light, as well as hear his voice.

Who is he talking to?

I went through the doorway and felt my heart slow with sorrow.

He was speaking to his stuffed dragon, a childhood toy I knew from our elementary Days when he got bullied.

In the flickering yellow light, Derek's luminescent tears trickled down his cheeks as he whispered words I never thought I'd hear him say.

"I know it's selfish of me, Winston, but... But I wish Mike had never found that island."

What..?

"Ever since then, the... The things I thought would never change started changing."

I found the cord to Derek's alarm clock and slowly started to climb it.

"I'm supposed to be the bad guy, aren't I?" Derek paused, shaking and sobbing. "My very blood says so. I wish I didn't have these stupid powers."

He wiped his glowing tears away angrily. "These stupid tears, my stupid light. I wish I was anything but what I am."

I was almost to his bedside table when he whispered, "I wish... I wish I wasn't me."

That was when it hit me.

Derek had been slowly falling into the background even before the recent attack. And in the past weeks he'd barely spoken to anyone but Vincent, funnily enough.

Did he... feel guilt somehow?

"I wish that I was someone strong, Winston... Like Roxie. L-Like Mike, and all my other friends. If they're even my friends anymore. After all that's happened, I doubt they'll ever see me like they used to again. I'm sure that... If they knew who I'm meant to be, they'd never speak to me again. Vincent's the only one who's been paying me any mind lately. I-I-I think he feels sorry for me. Because he knows who I am."

I finally jumped onto the table. "What did Vincent tell you, Derek?!"

My cousin scrambled back in his bed, drawing the covers up close to his face. His soft yellow-white light pulsed brighter. "Roxie? I-Is that you?"

"Yes! Sorry to scare you."

"It's okay." Derek wiped his eyes and blew his nose into the sheets. "Why in Hiraeth are you so tiny?"

"It's a long story. You didn't answer my question, though."

My cousin sighed and said softly, sadly, "I kept asking him one Day why he didn't like me. He said that he did like me, he was just scared of me because..."

Derek started to cry again. I wanted to reach out and hug him tight, but all I could do was jump onto his bed, wrestle my way through his blankets, and tackle his arm.

"He really really didn't wanna tell me, Roxie, but I kept asking and asking and-" Derek coughed weakly, choking on tears and snot, "-And he finally told me about the shadows and how they know about our ancestors and about a legend that says I'm gonna fight Mike and that's why I've been so scared to talk to him or even..." He took a deep breath and stared at me with giant wet brown eyes. "Roxie why are you looking at me like that?"

"... You know."

"I do." Derek paused. "Wait, what do I know?"

"You know about how we're related to Danika Ray."

"Yeah. Did Vincent tell you, too?"

"No. But Vincent's done something terrible."

Derek nodded, dread framing his freckled face. "I could feel it."