Love & Hate

Ashleys suicide attempt

Ashley's pov (I'll do a big chapter of jakes pov soon)

It's been over a week and Jake won't even look at me, I started cutting again and I also skip school, no one seems to notice anything.

I wake up alone again, I get dressed and do my hair and makeup, I walk out of my room and bump into Jake "sorry." I whisper but he keeps on walking, I walk out of the house with my book bag, I stopped eating again. I get to school and Beth walks over to me "Ash what's wrong?" I sigh "Jake has been ignoring me..." her eyes widen, I tell her everything "ash show me your arm." she demands "why?" I ask "you told me you have a history of self harm, now show me your arms." I nod and roll up my sleeves reviling hundreds of cuts going up both arms and all around "Ash..." she was speechless "there's more on my legs..." I whisper, she glares at something behind me, I turn my head to see Jake walking over "what are you glaring at?" He asks "why are you ignoring her?" She asks pointing to me "I'm not." I start walking away knowing that when I reach the doors the bell will ring and I was correct.

The lunch bell rings and I walk down the stairs and right out the door carrying my book bag, I'm ditching. I get off of the school grounds and into the woods, I get to a tall tree with a rope from about three years ago. I pull out three pieces of paper one is for Beth, one for Jake and one for everyone else. I climb the tree and pull up the rope, I tie the rope around my neck "ASHLEY!!!!" I hear from not to far, I stand up just as Beth and Jake arrive "Ashley don't do it!" They both say "I'm sorry." I say as I take a step forward, Beth throws a knife as I fall, it hits the rope making it break and I land on the ground crying. Jake runs over to me "what the hell ash! Why?" He holds me and we cry "w-why do y-you care? Y-you h-hate m-me re-remember?" He shakes his head no "I never hated you. I was mad at myself for letting you get high." he kisses the top of my head "hey, b-Beth where did you l-learn how to throw knives like that?" She shrugs "practice." she walks over and sits next to us. I lay my head against Jakes shoulder "I'm sorry." he says "I'm sorry for ignoring you...." I nod "I'm sorry for almost dieing..." He nods "I'm sorry for getting you high in the first place..." I shake my head "it's not your fault... it was my decision..." Jake sighs "I'm going to take her home now" Beth nods "take care of her." he nods and we walk home.

We get home to find his mom not there, she's probably at work. we walk to his room and lay on his bed cuddling "I missed this..." I say, he nods in agreement "promise me you won't try to do that again.." I nod " I promise." we smile at each other, I lay my head on his chest and drift off to sleep.