Otherworldly Redemption [Book 7]

20

As we sat down at the table I had to remind myself that it was okay to be nervous. That this was a big deal. That this was one of those life changing type of decisions. Did it make it easier? Absolutely not. I was a bundle of nerves so frayed that one wrong thing could send me into a tailspin.

"For this part of the procedure we will need to maintain some sort of physical contact with you. Most beings prefer us to simply hold their hands however if that's not something you're comfortable with we can try to figure out other arrangements." Pothos explained.

"No...." I sighed, trying to calm myself, "That should be fine. I think I can handle that much." I finished with a nervous laugh.

"I'm sure you can handle much more." Eros spoke, trying to encourage me.

I settled my hands on top of the table and waited for one of them to make the next move. Both reached across and took a hand each before holding each others hand. Personally I thought we looked like the beginning to a bad horror movie but Jali didn't seem as amused when I told him.

"At this point all you need to do is close your eyes and focus on your memories with your mate. If, at any time, you need to stop then you can let go of our hands. We know that this is an emotional journey and we will never rush you." Eros explained.

I nodded my head in agreement as I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to remember when I first met Jelani. All the way back to when my father had tricked me into heading down there, to when I first met Marin, memories of finding out that he was my mate and all the chaos that happened from there.

The tightness in my chest betrayed my true feelings that I was trying to keep pushed down. It hurt. It hurt that the one thing that was supposed to bring me happiness had been one of the biggest sources of grief for me.

Something softly brushed my cheek causing me to open my eyes. Jali's hand was right there, close to my face. I gave him a questioning look, only for him to reach forward again to wipe away the tears I didn't even realize I was shedding.

"Th-Thank you." I croaked out.

"We're mostly done if you want to take a moment." Pothos offered.

"Already?" I questioned. We had just begun.

"We've been sitting here for almost two hours already." Jali explained.

I guess that was the magic of....well magic, I guess. In my mind it had only been a few minutes of me reminiscing but in reality the whole "interview" process was almost over. I let go of their hands, flexed my fingers, and brought them down to my lap.

"As a matter of fact we really don't need to see anything more." Eros announced before getting up from his seat, beckoning for Pothos to follow him. "We will be back as soon as possible."

The two of them left the room through the same door we came through, leaving Jali and I by ourselves. The silence of the room was balanced by the sounds of life outside. Although my own thoughts were all over the place I was curious to think what Jali thought as he sat here watching me.

"So..." I started. "Did anything happen while I was remembering the best times of my life?"

"Um..." Jali groaned. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah..." I answered.

"It was a little painful to watch. Besides the tears you were whimpering their names over and over, like a chant almost." Jali replied, voice somber.

I could only close my eyes and simply sigh at the thought. This whole mate experience has made me feel so weak. Everything that has happened from the beginning has chipped away at the confidence I once had. I wasn't the same person I was before and who knew what I would be when all this ended.