The Boy And The Girl Next Door

Chapter 10

It was Friday and we didn't have any school on Saturday so I decided to stay over by Jason's place for the weekend, he brought dinner up to his room and I forced him to watch corpse bride with me.
"Can I ask you something" I said sitting up after the movie was over
"Yeah, anything" he said following My Movements
"Am I- am I a good girlfriend"
"What, yeah I mean of course you are"
"It's just that, Emily didn't know she was hurting victor not because she wanted to just because she simply was clueless"
"But what does that have to do with you, your not clueless at all your one of the smartest people I know"
"Thank you" I say beginning to blush "it's just I- I've never had a boyfriend before, especially not a secret one for that matter"
"First of all never say for that matter again then You'll seriously be a nerd. Second of all your an amazing girlfriend" he said grabbing my hand and rubbing it with his thumb.
"Thank you" I managed to say even though my stomach felt like I just ate a whole swarm of butterflies
"I can't believe you've never had a boyfriend before, I mean your...you" I laugh at this.
"The Boys back in New York don't really like well- me" I paused "everyone in the states is a lot...meaner"
"We'll I'll have to meet them some time and let them know what they're missing" he said lifting my chin with his finger and kissing me on the cheek.

I had said goodbye to him and he let me know he was going to come back to school the next day so I left in my Uber happy with a smile on my face.
When I got back to my dorm it felt like I haven't been there in ages I was about to fall into my bed when I noticed there was a letter on it, I picked up the envelope and carefully ripped open the seal as to not break anything that might be inside.
I unfolded the letter I found inside and noticed the handwriting almost immediately.

Dear Sara
I heard you talking about romanticizing a academia school year a broad or some shit like that. So I decided to write you a letter instead of an email, I need an update on your life since mine just got a whole lot of boring. Mack broke up with me well it was mutual sorta, anyways i was thinking of coming to london for spring break! unless you wnated to come home and if so i'll be waiting at the door to see you like always.
love, Ivy

I found myself smiling by the time I was finished reading her letter and immediately took out my laptop and began writing her an email back.
Later that night I was reading in my dorm in my sweatpants and a tank top when there was a heavy knock at my door, I wasn't expecting anyone so I was a bit hesitant while opening the door "who is it" I screamed but there was no answer I slowly tip toed towards my door and repeated "who is it!"
"Its me" I heard a muffled boys voice say
"Just because you say that doesn't mean I know who you are!" I said talking louder
"Jason" the not so muffled voice said
I opened the door and found Jason standing there in sweatpants and a hoodie and the most hideous pair of sneakers I've ever seen in my life.
"He knows" he said running into my room and sitting down on my bed
"What, who does" I say closing my door and sitting next to him
"Matt"
"Wha- how" I felt my throat closing up
"He found my phone while I was gone and I hadn't realized I dropped it somewhere so I told him to hold onto for me and well... he saw all your messages and he just came over to me and confronted me about it. Im sorry"
"Its not your fault, its nobody's fault" I pause "I just- I just need to talk to him"
"Maybe let him cool down tonight Things got pretty heated Between us"
"Ok I'll talk to him in the morning"
"I really don't want to go back there, can I stay here tonight?"
"Yeah, sure"
He laid his head on my shoulder and I laid mine on his chest, I heard his heart beating so fast and his breathing was heavy I tried to take deep breaths and pretend like everything was okay but in reality I felt as if I was going to throw up.

I woke up the next morning with Jasons arms wrapped around my stomach and my head lying on his chest, in other circumstances I would have to pinch myself thinking this was a dream but now everything is all to real.
I lightly took Jasons hands off of me and snuck into my closet and grabbed a hoodie and a pair of ripped black skinny jeans.

I snuck across campus to the boys dormitories and stood outside Will's dorm while texting Matt.
"Why are you here" I heard him say while rubbing his eyes and shutting his door
"I need to talk to you" I say walking closer to the staircase and crossing my arms as he follows me
"What about I don't want to talk do you not understand"
"I know you know" thats all I had to say to get him to shut him up "Im sorry"
"Sorry isn't going to cut it" he said suddenly waking up
"I know and I just want to know what I can do-"
"I can handle rejection, but I cant handle liars"
"I didn't lie to you"
"You said you couldn't date me because I was Wills friend yet here we are"
"I know and I'm a jerk and I don't know how you could ever forgive me" I said while starting to feel my eyes tearing up "I care about you, like a lot and I need you to forgive me" I watched him take a deep breath and think of what he was going to say but he didn't, he slowly backed away towards the steps and sat there with his hands on his knees. It reminded me of new years in my room
"I still care about you too" he said wiping his face with his hands and looking up to me "and I want you to be happy"
I walked over and sat next to him
"I won't tell Will, if your really happy with him then I'm happy for you" he said making a painful smile
"Im happy"
"Ok thats all I needed to hear" he said getting up and walking up the steps
"Thats it?" I say standing up
"What do you want me to say Sara, I cant keep chasing you forever" he turned away disappeared into the hallway, I sat there for what seemed like hours until I heard everyone in the boys dormitories getting up for class.

                    .          .        . 

The rest of the day I was sad, why? I had no idea. I should be happy now that everything is off my chest with Jason, and that Matt is happy for me but I'm not I feel empty and the only person I want to be with is Matt but I cant feel like that because I have a loving boyfriend who cares about me and I could never hurt him like that, so instead of wallowing in my own self pity after skipping all my morning classes I ate lunch and went to English and it so happens that me and Matt sit at the same desk together, just great.
I got to classes early and sat in my seat but Matt had gotten there earlier and was already sitting by our desk writing something
"Hey" I said sitting down beside him, he looked up at me and then looked back down
"Hi" he said coldly
"I'm sorry"
"Stop saying that"
"Well Im not going to lie and say Im not"
"You already did once"
"So your going to be like that" I said sitting up straighter
"I want you to be happy and if thats not with me that fine but, we don't need to be friends"
"Well- fine"
"Great"
"Amazing"
We both turned our heads opposite each other and was silent for the rest of class.