Nothing Lasts Forever [5SOS] (On Hold)

12

The first thing I did was lock myself in the room and let everything play in my head when instead I needed to tell Ashton what happened.

"Can I accompany you?"
"You guys are so cute. How long have you two been together?"
"We've better get going, were going to be late for our date."
"Jailene."

I should have just stayed with him. Luke was either going to wherever he wanted to go, or was taking the stairs since I took the elevator. I gazed at the ceiling and closed my eyes and started to wonder about the past months of tour. When I bumped my head, over heard 5SOS talk about me, when I met Luke, the flight, first date with Ash, when he kissed me, and so fourth and so fourth. Everything happened so quick.

A loud knock on the door woke me up, I had not realized I fell asleep.

"Jailene?" I heard Lou's voice and I quickly got up to open it.
"We're watching a movie, want to join us?" Lou asked as she entered the room to get her blanked.
"What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.
"2:50am."
We walked to the living room, all the boys were gathered around the T.V and I wasn't sure if Luke was there but Ashton was. Louis had his gaze at the movie and I decided to make my way to Ashton and hoped Louis wouldn't see me.

He grabbed my hand and sat me down next to him and intertwined our fingers together. I didn't feel any sort of electricity and my skin didn't rise like it did with Luke.

I had to get my mind off Luke, I had too. Whether he was in the room, or not. I decided to lean my head on Ashton's shoulder and watch the movie, once I realized which movie we were watching I wanted to get the bloody hell out of the room.

Ashton let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my wasted, she softly kissed my forehead. That was when I felt a burning sensation. I had thought I was feeling the connection with Ashton, not that I had one with Luke, but because I was feeling a certain way. I turned away with a smile on my face to see Luke's eyes burning deep into mine. He had rage, sadness, and jealousy written all over his face. He quickly stood up and walked to his room and slammed the door so hard, the hotel plasma shook.

"He doesn't like this film," Calum added. "Never did, never will, well, he does like it -- but just the beginning and the end," he continued.

"I agree with him, The Lovely Bones is so sad." I blurt out. I sat down and watched the movie but I couldn't help to get Luke off my mind. I couldn't even pay attention anymore, but the movie scene was when Susie saw her killer in the tub, relaxing himself after he had just killed her. I didn't want to watch it anymore, I needed to know why Luke kissed me! Why did he? He doesn't like me.

"I don't like this part, I'm going to go check up on Luke," I kissed Ashton. "You taste like... watermelon," Ashton whispered and seemed confused.
F. *. C. K.
"I- ah- I... I changed my Chapstick flavor," I lied.
"Really? But you put some of your chocolate dough one on yesterday."
"I lost it and I went to go buy one before you guys came."
"Oh. Okay. That makes sense," Ashton giggled softly, an awkward giggle.
"Well, yeah, duh! That's what actually happened, so it makes perfect sense!" I regretted what I said when the words left my mouth. Everyone in the room looked at me so very awkwardly, but he seemed to have bought my lie, or at least that's what I'd like to believe.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Ashton giggled his awkwardly again.
"No, no, I'm just really tired," and I pretended to yawn, "And I also don't like this movie. I mean, I do, but it's too sad."
"Oh, then you should go to sleep." He still said whispering, I just didn't want anyone to hear us, or at least not Louis.
"Ok," I said walking the direction to Luke's room.
"Where are you going?" Ashton whispered once again, very confused.
"To the restroom?"
I seriously need help. I opened the restroom door and closed it to make everyone believe as if I was actually going to use it, but instead I opened the door to Luke's room and softly closed the door behind me. He was laying on the bed, the back of his heading facing me, the room was also dark which made the city lights stand out and shine, such a beautiful sight.

I slowly closed the door, the hallway light, reflecting into the room, vanished when the door was completely closed. I noticed how the city lights reflected through the windows, hitting me all over my body, leaving little bits of light splattered throughout me and the room. I was absolutely captivated by what was in front of me.

"Please, get out." Luke said still not facing me.
"I need to --," he was quick to cut me off.
"Get out." Luke's tone was extremely loud, and it kind of frightened me. I should have never come in, I could have talked to him in the morning.
"We have to talk," I said.
"Talk about what."
"You kissed me earlier, what was that about?"
"You kissed me back, what was that about?"
I couldn't answer Luke, I couldn't tell him that I thought kissing him felt so right, but I didn't want to assume he had feelings for me even if he did kiss me.
Without thinking, I blurt out, "Luke.. Do you feel something for me?"
Luke shot his head to me, and stood up. I felt intimidated by his height, he was so tall, and I, so small.
With that, Luke turned away, "There's nothing to talk about. Please get out."
"Do you not understand? You kissed me."
"Do you not understand? Get out," Luke's voice was soft now, but sent shivers down my spine.
"Answer me," I raised my voice.
"Damn it Jailene! It's written all over my face!"
I felt my stomach turn, my head was pounding, how did I not see it before?
I stayed there, in silence and in shock. Luke likes me. I've been making him jealous all this time. That is also why he has been so bipolar with me.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier Luke?" I asked.
"It's not like if you would have even been with me in the first place. All you wanted was Ashton, and now you have him. You're not going to give him up for me." 
"We could have at least talked things out," I felt my voice shake.
"So you could pity me and tell me that I will just remain a good friend to you? I know these types of damn conversations. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to rest before our next show."

I was already bothering Luke enough, he has probably had his heart torn so many times and all I'm doing is ripping apart even more. I went back to my bed and just drowned in my thoughts, I couldn't believe I didn't see it before.

I'm such a mess, I thought.