Born as Bi

Core Update (14)

Everything was monotonous and much depressed till 14. Yes, I stalked other guys at dressing room. I even unty&tyed shoelaces several times to see more. It was really high degree of sexuality for me at that time. My classmates didn't attend that lesson, so I couldn't see their's and other guys'. Week by week, we stopped going there. And school became boring. But it was normal for everyone.

In addition to this I've started to google more things. But they'll were just Internet stuff.

At fall, we celebrated my birthday at school. Maybe a week or two, I saw  a dream featuring one of my classmates. In dream, I've been walking or running in red-black rooms and halls with some other guys. Then I saw my friend talking to someone. We'll call him Mirza (for his privacy), who was from village. He was nude with only a shirt on. So, a massive "thing" hanged  under shirt. Even now, writing that here, my heartbeat rised. I woke up with boner and high BPM. Then went to school, had some lessons. When we've talked, I said in covered that, I know something about you. After school, I made Mirza to go alone to subway with me. We've talked about to much stuff and I made comfortable discussion. After entering to the underground, he asked me, what I wanted to say him during break. I simply said my dream and explained. He naively talked about what he really has and it's not interesting for him. I don't know how, but somehow "What about showing it?" spilled out of my mouth. I still don't know how this idea came to my mind. I made a picture that, it's just a joke, let's do that. He took it seriously, and made me promise that, I'll not shame for his penis size. I didn't care, it was my first time. We agreed to do that next day, before lessons start, at the toilet cabin.
I was excited about what's going to happen. I tried to stay calm and became completely successfull. The next day, I came school a bit earlier than usual. We met and waited to stay alone, so no one could see us to go to WC together. With all passion and little dominance, we went into cabinet and locked door. He said, so, show it. I answered, at the same time. With chuckling we opened trousers and took of underwears. He was really exited about mine. Cause I had erection, it made it look big. But his was smaller than I expected. Good or bad, I saw that "thing" first time ever. Without even touching it, we finished our "joke" and went out. Talked a little about that. Heading to home, conversation started between us. He said me his memories at village's school. As he said, there have been no girls in class. When they were alone, boys showed off their dick openly. They even had handjobs. He wasn't interested anyway, asked few questions about mine, like why it's that big or what have you done for it. I explained everything to him.

It was hot and sad for me. Why I didn't thought about it before? I could do whatever I want at my free time. The sentence which I thought that time, explains most of things: There are more things than lessons. Yes, I could make friends, hang out with them, became interesting one instead of good guy. Maybe had things, like I done that day, much before, as I had chance, not single time. You may call me faggot or something, but you can't understand me, if you never had strict family. Of course I didn't tell anything to them.

Also I discovered some personal gay pages from my country. It called "gayuni". As I didn't know anything about sex positions, I thought it was a gay guy, who is studying at University (uni relates to "universitet" in my language). One of them shared a story, a picture of mattress, saying on it: If only you knew how the sounds came out, how the sperms were came. Slowly I realized that, people like me, in the same country actually meet/hang out. With some more searches, I found a page called "geymemler". It was really big achievement for me. Because I saw people like me having almost same problems and comedy. Started following bunch of accounts, whose were looking for sex and hook ups. I even remember the first guy I've ever talked. He was called Nicat, 25 years old, "university" gay. You know what I mean. But I said I don't share any pictures and chat ended.

Sadly, few days later, Mirza didn't came to school. Days later we heard that he is ill and had to leave us. When we heard it from teacher, I felt really bad. At least we could do something or hang out together.

Maybe weeks later or in the next month, I saw almost same dream with my other classmate. We'll call him Calal. He was freak and dirty. Never studied well. Also was higher and  heavier than me. Difference between that dream and previous one, that happened in my room, he was with underwear and showed it himself. It was small and unerected. So I started doing same with him. But he was perfect freak. Said like what are you talking about, what do you say?? Even once I tried really hard to to that. It was just waste of time. I saw dreams look alike several times. That winter and February are deep depression times.

By the beginning of spring, other guy from 10th grade, fall in love with a girl from our class. He daily found some reason to attend our lessons. We even made a document about their 'marriage'. He wasn't handsome at all, but was warm with everyone. So I used that situation. Made him to go subway with me, started talking about 'weird dreams'. I don't want to write with details each time, so laying here sentences below. You may use it on your own, but be cautious. Make sure you're in his friend zone.

"Melting a guy"
1) Start conversation as usual. Tell about your day.
2) Then say that you saw some simple but mixed and funny dream. (use your imagination)
3) After having same topic in mind, say that you always have different kind of dream, even 'weird' ones.
4) Weird dreams are about seeing yourself completely naked. You may hint or say directly.
5) Use 2nd step but s bit open and hornier if he asks what you exactly saw
6) Then jokely asking how is him's thing.
7) After whatever he says, chuckle and ask another jokely question: Let's show it!
8) If he thinks it's joke, say something like 'Why not?', 'Lets mutually do this'
9) If he still thinks it's a joke, give up. He's not worth it. If not, organize time and place and good luck!

We did it next day. Like the previous one, but with closing whole toilet door, not cabin's. He showed first, it was thick but unerected again. But my virgin eyes were happy seeing it.
The girl broke up with him next week, we stopped taking about it. And my 8th grade finished with new me.