"So, the reason that you know so much about everything is…because you know the future?" Oscar questioned as Solaire and the new member of the party, Siegmeyer, were silent.
"Because I saw the journey of the chosen undead multiple times" Jake corrected. "At this point, I know it by heart."
He pointed at Oscar "you were fated to die and become hollow in the undead asylum" The elite knight grimaced at that.
He pointed at Solaire "you were fated to become depressed in your search for your sun and ultimately settled for something that resembles the sun enough. Which was a demon bug that you put on your face." The warrior of sunlight didn't react in any way, or at least he didn't show it.
He pointed at Siegmeyer "You went hollow when sacrificing yourself for another undead, and your daughter put you out of your misery afterwards." Onion knight's eyes went wide with panic.
"Siegline is here!? She has become undead as well??!" He yelled and started shaking Jake, demanding answers to his questions. The love of a father for his little baby princess is not something you should underestimate.
Jake tried to punch the man, hoping that the shock of pain would calm him a little, but all he managed to do is break 3 fingers when his fist made contact with the Onion knight helmet.
"Son of a Bitch!" Jake yelled in pain and got punched in the jaw by onion bro.
"Don't you dare call my mother like that!" Siegmeyer yelled angrily.
"I didn't- …right, medieval settings…" Jake murmured the last part to himself, making a mental note that he should be careful with some words in this world. "Anyway, your daughter is a complete monster who managed to cross this land without dying even once while being not touched by the curse."
Solaire let out a low whistle at that, and Oscar looked like he was buffering his brain due to the information. Onion Bro on the other hand forgot about his anger and stuffed his chest forward in pride.
"But she got captured by Gwyn's pet dragon named Seath, and is sealed inside a golden crystal golem." Another round of shaking ensued.
"WHERE! WHERE!? ILL SKINN THAT FUCKING LIZARD WIZARD!" The young pyromancer started to laugh uncontrollably at the title that Siegmeyer gave to the Arch-Duke dragon.
Lizard Wizard! HAH!
Because dragons are giant lizards and Seath is a dragon but also a wizard since he is the grandfather of sorcery! Get it!?
"This is not funny at all!"
Jake tried to explain the accidental joke of the Onion knight, but all he managed to do is wheeze out something about a grandfather.
Solaire and Oscar looked at each other.
They both nodded their head and went down to the blacksmith.
"Lively up there, eh?" Andre asked, making them both nod.
"Well since you came down already, anything I can help with?" Andre stopped hammering the sword on his anvil and set it on the wall. "I offer titanite reinforcements to armor and weapons, but don't expect a miracle without an ember."
"Well, better armor and weaponry never hurt anybody." Oscar said and gave the man his sword.
"No one except the people on the receiving end of the blade." Andre joked and took the elite knight's one-handed sword.
He immediately noticed something.
"A blessed blade, those are rare these days." His comment made Oscar momentarily stop taking off his armor to look at the blacksmith.
YOU ARE READING
A Crusade through the Multiverse 2: Electric Boogaloo
FanfictionY/N now known as Jake is fucking back! prepare the popcorn! prepare your brains to loose brain cells! The crusader with the power of God and Bullshit is back and no heretic is safe from him! (this is a rewrite...err...continuation? a "rewrite conti...
