CHAOS

||-2-||

|| + ||
Trigger Warnings:
~Swearing
~Alcohol / Slight Drunkenness
|| + ||

It was later in the day, around half twelve, and Phil was sat comfortably eating a ham sandwich on their average sized sofa. Afternoon television didn't particularly appeal to Phil, but he was feeling especially lazy today and couldn't be bothered to change the channel.
Luckily, a certain pink haired man landed himself next to Phil, distracting him from the shit reality programme he had been previously glued to.
"I didn't know you watched this sorta stuff-" Techno mused. Suddenly, his calm demeanour shattered at the sight of Phil's sandwich.
"P-Phil... Beloved Dadza... what kind of sandwich is that...?"
"Oh this, mate? Just ham."
Technoblade's eyes shot open even wider, if that were possible, at the mention of ham.
"You don't realise what you've done..." his voice turned cold. Threatening.
Phil was used to this though, and just like that morning, he felt the cruel urge to laugh.

"PHIL, DO YOU REALISE HOW MANY INNOCENT MINECRAFT PIGS YOU'VE EATEN??!!"

"PIGS DON'T JUST EXIST IN MINECRAFT YA GOOF!"

Again, the noise attracted a much more woken up Wilbur. He was still pissed off though.
"Can you guys stop screaming about whatever you were? Fucking Minecraft pigs or some shit-"
"Uh actually Phil has consumed one. The poor Minecraft pigs...." Techno fake-cried, hurt written across his face.
Wilbur didn't care.
"Well I guess now I'm here I'll chill with you guys for a bit." He sighed, squeezing in between Phil and Techno.
"You guys like "Dress to Impress" too?!" Wilbur gasped, pointing at the dodgy programme that Phil had been watching, seemingly... excited?
"Uhhh we don't watch this mate... but you do you I suppose-" Phil wheezed at Wilbur's mortified expression. For his family to find out about his obsession with reality tv shows was the single worst thing to happen to him yet. Worse than that one time he set fire to the Christmas tree.

"My masculinity... I'm wounded..." he gasped, sliding off the sofa and onto the cold wooden floor.
"C'mon Wil, get off the floor, you're gonna get your sweater dirty." Techno scolded as Phil continued dying in the corner. He quickly jumped up, wiping away any invisible dirt or hairs he may have picked up on his shiny, yellow jumper.
Perching onto the arm of the sofa closest to Techno, Wilbur picked up the remote and started flicking through the channels. He avoided every one that was playing reality tv shows, which, considering it was almost one in the afternoon, was pretty hard.
In the end, they decided on one of the many Spider-Man movies that was playing on a movie channel.

About halfway through, Techno decided he was going upstairs to do some 'planning' - Wilbur was unaware of The Syndicate and their plans to overthrow the Government. So Wilbur moved to where Techno had previously sat, and made himself comfortable by wrapping a blanket around himself like a cocoon.
"You alright?" Phil smiled at the sight of cocoon-bur. He was answered with a small nod and a muffled "hmph".
"You know what, let's put something else on."
Wilbur was confused. He was quite enjoying the movie they were watching, and thought Phil was too.

"Ah, here we go!" He grinned, clicking the confirm button on the remote.
The television blared with the cheesy theme tune of "Dress To Impress", and Wilbur's cheeks were dusted in dark red out of pure embarrassment.
"If you're worried about us judging you," Phil patted Wilbur's shoulder. "Don't be - I'm married to a fridge for fuck's sake!" both of them burst out laughing at that comment.
The laughter slowly died down, and as it did, the room once again fell into a comfortable silence.

[~ Time skip ~]

"I'm headin' out, I'll be home around nine." The rustling of keys and the distinct sound of heavy footsteps echoed around the house. Wilbur, who had fallen asleep on Phil, stirred slightly, before slowly opening one eye. Phil himself had also nodded off for a few minutes.
"That's okay mate, stay safe, have fun!" He beamed, slightly pushing the tall man who's incredibly bony head was rested upon his arm.
"Oy!" Wilbur yelled, again making his father wheeze. "Oh bye Techno. Who you going out with?"
"Ah just Ranboo and Tubbo."
At the mention of Tubbo, Phil froze.
"Don't do anything stupid, got it?" He announced sternly.
"Yeah yeah, I won't."
And with that, the eldest of the two brothers made his way out the door, and into the warm afternoon air.
"He better not cause a scene." Wilbur remarked, Phil sighing in response.