Pear Shaped

Chapter Ten

On the day that interviews are held, Janine is a complete mess. Her pale face lacks its usual sheen of makeup and she keeps running her fingers through her mass of red hair as though she hasn’t even brushed it today, never mind straightened it. I think that maybe something’s happened with her and Mark. I’m hoping that he’s seen straight through her and dumped her plastic ass and then I feel guilty when I realise I’m being spiteful to hope for that. I mean, it’s not like I even like Mark, is it? I just can’t stand to see him play a part in whatever Suzy’s got planned.

I get into work to find Suzy with the clipboard out again, ordering people about. Apparently I’m on first, before Janine and I’ve only got an hour to show a panel (that’s what Suzy called it but really it’s just her and Mark) that I can handle both jobs. Janine’s shop assistant job merged with my personal shopper job merged with general errand girl. I realise now why Suzy’s plan is so devious. Obviously she’s going to favour Janine and a few dates ought to make it easier to force an agreement from Mark.

All I really have left is my ability in the job.

I don’t just spend my time helping customers find the right outfit for them. I work on the tills alongside Janine if it’s busy and I’m not with a customer. And I do all the displays and put as much thought into dressing mannequins as I do dressing real women. Considering my experience of both roles, I’m the obvious best candidate for the job. To my knowledge, Janine is only interested in fashion if it comes in neon pink.

It starts off easy enough. I just have to show that I can operate a till and help two women find their perfect body-defining outfit.

The first woman is a fresh-faced brunette in her early twenties who wears a lot of chunky jewellery and doesn’t smile much. I tell her that her body shape is ‘athletic’ rather than ‘boyish’ so not to offend her. With an up-and-down body shape and super-long legs like hers, the woman could probably wear anything and not look too terrible but my job is to help her pick out clothing that will define her waist and give her some feminine curves in the right places.

I pick out a jade-green peplum skirt that adds enough structure to her hips and is short enough to show off her legs without being too slutty. Teaming that with a classic black pussy-bow blouse in a soft, feminine material, I think I’ve done a good job and the brunette agrees, heading off to the till to buy the skirt.

The next woman, a stocky blonde who looks about fifty, is a little more awkward and doesn’t like it when I explain to her why she’s an apple shape and what sorts of things she should be wearing to flatter her figure. I layer a smart pin-stripe blazer over a simple beige dress with a butterfly-clasp belt to cinch her in at the waist but she huffs and puffs about it upon seeing her reflection in the mirror.

I just know that this woman, whether her reactions are genuine or not, is the product of Suzy’s vicious mind. They’re probably friends. She’s about what I’d estimate Suzy’s age to be and I can just picture the two of them attending whatever social events women their age go to. Suzy’s a bit more garden parties and day trips to the races than meeting her mates down the pub. God knows what she’s got in common with Janine.

I bet she doesn’t subject Janine to any of this. If she has to dress the same women, they’ve probably been instructed to smile and pretend that they love whatever combination she chooses. Making a mental note to question Mark about it later, I smile politely at the woman and let her pick out something that’s more her style.

Her choice of a mustard-yellow tea dress with all the tailoring of a potato sack looks frumpy and unflattering, squashing the woman’s chest and ballooning around her stomach. This is where my skills get really impressive. I add a plain black belt to the dress and suggest a cream velvet scarf to cover up the horrendous top half. She even cracks a half-smile at the finished product.

Take that, Janine!

Suzy rises from her seat, her expression blank. “Thanks Chloe. Now I just need to conduct an oral interview with you.” She may as well have said ‘examination’ in place of ‘interview’.

I shudder and look at Mark, who apparently isn’t going to be joining us and offers me no help from the quick glance he returns in my direction.

When I first got this job, I thought Suzy was a bit mean and sour-faced but she was only the deputy manager then. My initial interview had been with a lovely woman, the former manager Kim Castle. Suzy got her job when she left and they didn’t bother replacing Suzy’s old position.

I could never be prepared for an interview with Suzy. No matter how well I demonstrated my competence, she was always going to have it in for me for reasons yet to be revealed.

The interview takes place in Mark’s office, though it’s just Suzy and me. I try not to be nervous about it. Suzy feeds off that.

She doesn’t smile as she says, “Why do you think you’re the best candidate?”

Instead of thinking up a smart response, I think about how Janine might answer that question. She’d probably say something cute and ditsy.

“I’m friendly, fun and reliable.” I beam at her, flicking my dark hair the way I imagine Janine would. “And I know fashion.”

There’s no point acting this out like it’s a real interview because I know what Suzy will do. Or I think I do. And my skills would be better spent on planning an ass-kicking defence than giving Suzy responses that she’s going to give zero consideration to.

If she wants a fight then I hope she’s thought this stupid plan of hers through.