Masterpiece (A Chris Motionless Love Story)

Chapter Eighteen - The Past Is A Strange Place

TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of rape, abuse, and alcoholism.

LILITH'S POV
I woke up hearing Chris banging around in the kitchen. It was the day of our wedding, and I don't think he slept at all last night. I groaned and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as I looked over at the clock. It was 8am, almost too early for me to get up. Then there was banging on the bedroom door.

"Lil! Get your ass up! You're getting married today, fucker!" It was Taylor. I jumped out of bed excitedly, and swing open the door. I practically leaped into her arms and she hugged me tightly.

"You made it! I was so worried you wouldn't be able to!" I expressed. She laughed.

"Of course I did, I wasn't going to miss this. Especially since you get to actually marry someone worth a shit. Not to speak I'll of the dead or anything." She stated. I looked down, realizing almost everyone could see the way I was mistreated. Especially Taylor. She knew everything.

"Just... don't tell Chris about how he used to, ya know, rough house. Please?" I begged. Her eyes went wide as if to say 'Oh shit'. "Did you already say something?" I whispered. She bit her lip and looked down, and I walked down the stairs past her. Chris was sitting at the bar drinking his cup of coffee and scrolling through Instagram. I poured a cup for myself, and he put down his phone.

"Babe, we have to talk." He said quietly. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking as I made my way to a seat next to him. He grabbed my hand supportively, and I could tell he had been crying. His eyes were red, and glossy.

"Okay, I'll lay it all out for you," I told him, "but I have to warn you, the only way I can explain it is in great detail." I'd hoped he'd pay attention to my warning as I started telling him and pouring out my heart about everything I went through. "It started out nice, compliments, roses, gifts. I was his princess, and I was in love. A few months after we got married he had an affair, and blamed it all on me. He said I wasn't giving him enough, that I was gaining weight, that he was sick of seeing me. His words hurt," I started to tear up, and my lip started to quiver, "but not as bad as his fists and his kicks. You see, he had an alcohol problem. Some people get mushy, some people get quiet, but him? He got angry, and nothing boiled his blood more than the sight of me." Chris had his hand over his mouth as I watched tears stream down his face.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" He pried. I shrugged, for I really did not have a clue.

"I guess I felt like I had no one. It gets worse. If he wasn't out with his broad, he was home drinking. If I denied sex, because he was drunk and smelled like alcohol, he would beat me. One night he popped my shoulder out of the socket, but I knew I couldn't go to the ER, so I went to lay down. When I fell asleep he came in and I didn't know it, that is until he had my pants off and I felt a sharp pain. He had taken one of his empty bottles and decided that he wanted to see what would happen if he put it in me. Then, he held my hands down as he proceeded to rape me. This went on for years, until he got shot by his mistress." Chris looked horrified as I continued to tell him my stories, and then I lifted up my shirt and pointed out a scar. He traced his finger over it.

"What did he do to you, baby?" He muttered. I sniffled, and wiped a tear away as I put down my shirt.

"The final night he was alive we got in a heated argument and I said I wanted a divorce, so he broke a bottle and cut my side with it, then said it would be my neck if I ever leave him. That was my last memory of him. I was so terrified that night that I actually locked myself in my office downstairs and slept there that night. I didn't grieve losing him, I grieved the person I wish he could have been." Chris pulled me close to his chest, and I could hear is heart pounding out of his chest. I could tell he had mixed emotions. Anger, sadness, empathy.

"I will never, and I mean NEVER, let you get hurt. I will never treat you the way he did." Chris promised. I cried into his chest, as I finally felt safe to express everything. I felt like a large weight had been lifted off my back as I whaled into his chest. I felt like with every cry I was letting the past go. He stroked my hair and softly rubbed my back. It was what needed to happen.

"I was just going to ask you if you wanted a champagne toast at the reception since I don't drink and you are trying not to." He mumbled. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"So you mean... you didn't want to talk about that?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I knew you'd break eventually, though. You needed to get all of it out." Chris insisted. He was right, I felt a million times better. For years I held onto all of that, not telling a soul. It was a weight heavier than any body I had ever lifted, and casket I had ever carried. It was an emotional weight that felt like anchor drowning me in an ocean, and now... it was gone. Chris pulled me from the sea.
I was seconds away from walking down the aisle, and I felt like this was just right. Everything felt right.

"Are you ready?" Lydia asked as she placed her hands on the double doors to the chapel. I nodded my head, and the doors flung open as the sound of the Motion Picture version of Eternally Yours filled the chapel. Chris was standing at the front in his tux, and started to tear up as I made my way down the aisle in my black dress with my long black veil. He grabbed my hand as I got up to the steps of the chapel stage. Everything was basically in one ear and out the other, I was just ready to be married to this man and have his last name. He pulled me in by the waist and dipped me down as he kissed me passionately, and applause filled the air. As we walked down the aisle, hand in hand, as man and wife, I made eye contact with someone who looked eerily familiar, with the same cold eyes I had known, the cold eyes that made me freeze in my tracks. There was a ringing in my ears and I felt as though I was underwater.

"Hello, Lilith."