Writings (About The Past Love)

What Would Have Happened If She Showed Up?

It was four o'clock in the afternoon and I was losing my mind. I was looking for you in every spot in my town but you seemed to never arrive. I was expecting the best from you. I was daydreaming about your touch and your voice. But I learned to wait for some good occasions.

Some women passed by and talked to me and I was telling them how you are going to surprise me that day, with your charming smile and your incredible eyes. You will wear a grey jumper and grey jeans with cool shoes. I swear to god that just with imagine that, I am drooling. But you were late. You never showed up that day and I cried for months. I was in pain for years because of your absence.

Until you showed up one day and you gave me the concert I always wanted from you. The recognition of the love was shown. The recognition of the connection that we have was shown in your lyrics. And we wouldn't be discussing about past mistakes, we would be looking at each other with special tenderness. We would be finally happy. We would calm our sadness and anxieties by caressing our cheeks. We would be together for good.

But suddenly, it's just a dream. All is in my head. All the love from you is fake. All the feelings. All the letters. All the words untold.

Even though, you don't know me, will you ever realize that you belong with me? I got so much to give. You are the only woman I truly loved, but never met. You are still the nymph who sings in my head over and over again.

I wish you would see me as I see you. An artist with great sense of humour and a passionate soul. You are the reason why I believe in love. The reason why I started to write again. The reason why I am aware of my own breathing.

So far, these words are going to be the love that you deserve. My love not at all artificial, my love not at all clinical. My love is real and terrifying. I hope one day you will find it.