Me, myself, and tommo

Let the 'Fun' Begin

Louis P.O.V

"Wow it sure has been a while since we've been here huh, Zayners?" I spoke as we exited the car.

"What did I say about those gay ass fucking nicknames?"

"Sorry." I sighed, expecting a grin and a wink. Instead I am left with an eye roll and a left and right shake of the head.

We entered the strip club to be immediately greeted by an old friend of Zayn's, who is a DJ for the strip club or some shit.

"Yo my dawg, Shahid!" Zayn shouted as he approached his old friend with open arms for a hug.

His name is Shahid, but for some reason he makes everyone call him 'Naughty Boy'. I guess that's his dumb ass idea of a stage name.

Naughty Boy accepted the hug and said, "What it do cockatoo?!" before casually flicking his tongue across Zayn's earlobe.

Okay, so why is this Naughty Boy guy allowed to say gay rhymes and I'm not? Maybe I shouldn't have came.

"Not much. Me and Louis just thought we should revive old times by draggin' our asses down to the good ol' Skank in Your Bank Men's Club." Zayn replied.

"Well I'm glad you showed up! We've missed you up in here. And how about you Louis. How ya been?" he turned his head to me, giving me a child molester like smile.

I never liked that fucker. He reminds me of a greasy chicken nugget, and chicken nuggets make me think of the time my grandma shoved a burnt dinosaur nugget up my ass before I got out of the car for my first day of school.

"I've been alright." I gave him a fake smile.

"Still got that smokin' hot gal pal?"

Oh no. He did not just ask me that.

"Excuse you?"
I'm trying to sound tough. He shows me that it's not working, by replying with a laugh, expecting me to laugh along.

"Well would you rather have me call her ugly? If you ain't wid it ima chase that pussy if you don't mind."

Angry Louis activated.

"Listen here fat ass, that's none of your fucking business first of all. Second of all, stop trying to sound thug. We all know you're not a naughty boy, obviously you had to be a pretty good boy for your grandma to give you all those cookies and fucking candy. That's why you're like 800 pounds. 3rd of all, you look like a mother fucking honeybun, Eleanor wouldn't want to fuck you even if she could. Now why don't you shut your greasy ass fucking mouth before I stick a chicken bone up your asshole." I said, clenching my fists and jaw.

Wow, that was intense.

"Hey calm the fuck down, I was just playin' foo. I ain't tryna fuck your girl."

I turned my head, expecting Zayn to be by my side, ready to defend me because that's what bro's do for each other instead of sticking up for fat burritos. But I guess he got seduced and ran off, because he was nowhere in my sight.

Looks like I have to finish this guy off on my own. Instead of saying something that will stir up a further argument, I responded with a "Whatever you say" and simply walked away to look for Zayn.

I know if Zayn was still there he would've stood up for me.

I almost forgot about my 'outfit'. I am now smiling to myself. I decide that now will be a good time to go loosey goosey, so I untied my robe and threw it at a under appreciated Asian stripper. I laughed as I stood naked, wearing only a clown nose and neon pink cowboy boots, and watched the weak stripper cry of self disappointment.

I look to see a red headed stripper drinking whiskey out of Zayn's belly button. This place didn't change at all. I take Zayn and the stripper by surprise, by sneaking up behind the stripper and then aggressively slapping her gluteus maximus with my giant baby maker.

The stripper was startled. Zayn was oblivious, laying on his back with his eyes closed, patiently waiting for more action from the stripper. The stripper invited me to join the party by shampooing my pubic hair with a full bottle of Jack Daniels. She poured the beverage onto my pubes and thoroughly massaged it through my hair using her fingers. Zayn grew impatient. He opened his eyes to see the stripper shampooing me in a special area.

"Hey you fucking cunt. I'm still here." Zayn rudely yelled to the stripper.

The stripper ignored Zayn and continued to massage me. But he wasn't having it. Zayn continuously slapped the stripper in the face until she stopped massaging me. He then dragged me away and sat me down at an empty table nearby.

I'm scared.

He surprised me by asking, "are having fun?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm having a pretty good time."

"Good, because because the party has just started.." Zayn said, then took a shot. "By the way, I should beat the lizard fucking shit of you for that horrid outfit" he added before giving me a small wink.

He's clearly drunk.

"Yeah I thought I'd spice it up a bit." I said with confidence. I then honked my clown nose, hoping to get a laugh out of my good pal Zayn.

He sarcastically chucked, trying not to make me feel bad. But by the lack of emotion, you could tell he wasn't amused by the honking of my clown nose.

He then offered me a shot and I poured the liquid into my mouth and down my throat. I think I may be a little tipsy.

For about 10 seconds, neither Zayn or I spoke so I decided to fill the awkward silence.

"Remember when you were 12 and you used to think those Mac filters for your pictures were cool haha ! Some people still do HA!"

"@Louis_Tomlinson remember when you had a life and stopped making bitchy comments about mine ?"

What?

"When did I ever say anything about your life?"

"I hate you Louis." Zayn removed a shotgun from his back pocket and aimed it at me.

"Zayn, no. Don't do this. We're bro's, remember? Best friends.."

"Not anymore" Zayn laughed. "Naughty Boy is my best friend"

No one in the strip club seemed to care that a crazed Muslim was pointing a gun at me, so I figured that I was going to have to literally dodge this bullet on my own.

I gripped my cock and quickly began jacking until I became hard and firm. I watched as my dingaling flew up and my white juice squirted in Zayn's face, causing him to lose vision and drop the gun.

Zayn began screaming, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU LOUIS TOMLINSON!!!!"

I disregarded him.

I quickly ran to retrieve the gun and followed by shooting Zayn in the penis, then multiple times in the face. I watched him fall to the floor and bleed.. and die.

I immediately heard police sirens. People around me were screaming and crying, shoving and pushing, as they made their way out of the building. I found myself paralyzed, standing in the middle of a crime scene. Then I remembered something...

Eleanor.