Broken things can get fixed

I almost died!

Very weakly he saw her hand moving slightly on the mattress, just right next to his. He wasn't sure what she wanted to do, whether she wanted to take his hand or not but as she moved one finger to touch his index finger he took that as a signal to take her small hand in his. And as he did so he felt how stiff and cramped up it was. Carefully he moved his fingers a little to be able to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb, hoping it would relax a little.

"It's nerve damage. They don't know if I will ever get back full function." Meredith said as both their gazes were now fixed onto her left hand. "How?" he asked shocked, as he wasn't able to get out any more words. Nerve damage? And they couldn't guarantee that she would get back full function? Those were probably the worst two things you could tell a surgeon. That they wouldn't be able to move their hand properly anymore.

"It's complicated. I don't know if- I can talk about that now." She mumbled, a few tears making her vision blurry and since she couldn't reach her right hand up to her eyes since her arm was in a cast and at the same time she didn't want to let go of Nick's hand she had no other option than to just let the tears fall down freely. Very gently Nick placed his hand on her cheek, wiping away her tears with his thumb while looking at her with a concerned but warming and loving smile. "You don't have to. You'll tell me when you're ready." He reassured her, smiling even brighter as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. How he had missed feeling her so close to him, being able to touch her and comfort her.

"Can you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone." She whispered after a few seconds of silence, opening her eyes again. "Yeah sure." He replied, not wanting to deny her that whish. They could still talk about them another time. Right now she needed him to be here and he wouldn't go anywhere until she wouldn't be ready.

_________

Like that he had moved her bed a little closer to the couch that was standing in the corner of the room, just beneath the window, covered himself with a blanket and had waited for Meredith to fall asleep again while gently holding her warm, small and weak hand.

After all the couch wasn't exactly comfortable but he was glad to be able to stay with her. He was extremely grateful and relieved that Meredith had asked him to stay because it meant that she had acknowledged that she had made a mistake the last time, a mistake she wouldn't do again. He woke up pretty early and was still exhausted from the surgery when he opened his eyes, looking directly at the perfect little hand he was still holding. He really loved holding Meredith's hand since it fitted so perfectly into his own while at the same time it was so adorably small and soft. He felt her fingers moving a little, trying to grab his thumb but the nerve damage seemed to make it impossible for her to fully close her hand around his thumb. So, he adjusted her hand in his a little to make sure she wouldn't think he had let go off it.

After another while she slowly started to wake up as well, groaning in pain as she did. "Ouch." She mumbled softly, sucking in a sharp breath. "Hey, you okay?" he asked concerned, tiredly sitting up on the couch to be able to look at her. She flinched as she heard his voice, her eyes flying open. But as soon as she saw him she relaxed again. "Yeah- I'm fine." She said, not noticing how she was still holding onto his hand. "Just sore." She added, smiling slightly at him as suddenly the door burst open and Amelia walked in.

"Morning Mer, how a- Nick!" she exclaimed as she spotted Nick sitting on the couch, holding Meredith's hand. A very bright grin appeared on Amelia's face as she looked back and forth between her sister and Nick. "Morning." Nick replied while chuckling, looking up at Amelia. "Did you spend the night here?" she asked, still smirking mischievously. "Amelia." Meredith said, drawing her sister's attention towards here and shaking her head lightly. "Right. I just wanted to do a check up really quick. How are you feeling?" she then asked, switching into doctor mode but looking up at the two of them from time to time.

"Better I guess." Meredith replied, trying to scratch her right leg under the cast with her right hand since her left one was still too weak. "How is your hand? Did you do the exercises Dr. Riley told you to do." Amelia went on, writing something down on the chart as she checked Meredith's vitals. "I tried." Meredith gave back, adjusting herself a little on the bed. Nick just kept sitting beside her, listening closely to what both Meredith and Amelia were saying.

"Okay, Link said that he can perform the surgery on your leg tomorrow to remove the metal pole that is fixating your leg bones. And afterwards he'll place a new cast that will have to stay on for about six weeks. Also, we can take off the cast on your arm in a little while if the scans we'll do today are all clear." Amelia then explained, smiling warmly at Meredith to reassure her that everything would be okay.

Surgery? Tomorrow? Metal pole in her leg? His heart was aching for her, that he knew for sure. What he still didn't know was how the hell something like that could happen. Oh Mer. He mumbled to himself so that no one heard him while looking down at their hands that were still entwined. "So, I'll have surgery tomorrow?" Meredith asked vulnerably, trying to squeeze his hand to reassure herself that he was still there. But her fingers were too weak so that they just slightly held his hand closer.

"Yes, but it'll be the last one, I promise." Amelia chuckled, trying to light the mood a little. "How many surgeries did you have until today?" Nick carefully asked. "Four." Meredith replied timidly, looking down. "Four?!" Nick exclaimed, obviously shocked about her answer. Four surgeries? And no one had called him?

"Why didn't you call me?" he asked hurt, not being able to contain himself anymore. "I'll just- leave you alone." Amelia said before hurrying out of the room, not wanting to listen to their private conversation. "I- in the first week I- I was in a coma so- I couldn't call you and Maggie said she tried calling you but you didn't pick up so- I just thought that you wouldn't-" but she didn't want to finish that sentence and he was glad she didn't. But how could she even think that? And why hadn't he seen Maggie's calls?

"Did she call with your phone?" Nick asked, trying to overplay his shock about hearing that she had been in a coma. "Yeah." Meredith said, still not wanting to meat his eyes while trying to scratch her leg. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have ignored you. I was just- hurt and mad." Nick replied, stroking the back of her hand once again.

"I- that day I- called after you but- you didn't hear me." Meredith said after a few seconds of silence. "I did heard you. I just- wanted you to put more effort into it. Do more than just calling my name." He said quietly, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. She had. She had put more effort into it. She had ran out of the hospital, had gotten into her car and had started driving like a maniac to his place. But after realizing that he hadn't been there she had made her way towards the airport, hoping to find him there and be able to keep him from leaving her and apologies to him for telling him to leave. She had put a lot of effort into it because if she wouldn't have, if she wouldn't have decided to drive to the airport she wouldn't be in a hospital bed right now, not being able to move her left hand and not knowing if she would ever be able to perform a surgery again. Wasn't that effort? Was that nothing?

"I did. I drove after you Nick. And if I wouldn't have done that then I wouldn't be here in this stupid hospital bed now with metal poles in my leg and only a 20% chance of ever being able to perform a surgery again." She said, her voice breaking at the end as she now looked outside the window, not wanting to look at him. "Not enough effort? I almost died!"

Hope you like the chapter! Tell me what you think so far =)