Rick's Death

Rick's Death Chpter 3

" Jesslyn can you come sit please..." Rick asked gently " you're not in trouble we just want to talk to you"

Jesslyn sat down between Gail and Rick on the couch 

" I think I can guess why you tried to hide and take off...." Rick laid a hand on Jesslyn's leg

" I'm sorry Daddy... I just..." Jesslyn's tried to get up 

" Jesslyn we only want what's best for you, granted that you're becoming all grown up,.... We only want to help you but we can't if you don't let us in... Please talk to us and if you would prefer that I step away and you and Gail talk that's ok too but I'm only asking for you to talk to us about how you feel. And I want you to know that you can come to me anytime you need to." Rick replied easily 

" There's nothing Jesslyn to be ashamed of when trying to talk about things. Your Dad comes and has sessions with me all the time... Don't be afraid to talk about something." Gail said gently and gave Rick a nod to give them some time.

" I just…. I hate this time of the year... And I used to enjoy going around playing and then talking about what to do next.... And now it's nothing without...."

" Jesslyn there are some things that are easy and others that are gonna be hard and when we lose someone we love rather if it's our parents, a patient, or maybe even just a friend it's always hard... When your mother first learned she was sick, she and I we talked about it, she told me how she felt and how scared she might get... But above how she felt, there were only a few other people she wanted to talk about..."

" I just... I just feel so alone without Momma..." Jesslyn admitted

" Your mother loved you and your sister and your brother very much.... Anytime there was a chance she would talk about the 3 of you...." Gail said

" She was the only one to talk to... If I had a problem, Momma would be there but she's not.... And I'm all alone..." 

" Jesslyn you will never be alone... Your Dad he is here, your sister she's gonna be there for you and you have Jessie and I. We will always be there when you need us... You will never be alone." Gail replied

" Thanks Aunt Gail... I'm gonna go to bed now I'm starting to get tired." Jesslyn gave both Jessie and Gail a hug and went to bed

After Jesslyn went to bed, Rick, Gail, and Jessie stayed up to talk for alittle bit before they all went to bed for the night

" Rick I think her coming for sessions with you would really benefit her she's facing alot of demons and alot of mixed emotions that surround from Lesley's death and all that came after." Gail stated direct

" That's what I was afraid of Gail.... And I knew it surrounded within the origin of her mother's passing but I didn't think it was this bad and I should… I should know these things Gail because that’s my daughter and yet here I've been so wrapped up in my own struggles with Lesley’s death that I couldn’t even pay attention to my own daughter’s feelings and struggles with things." 

" It's not on you Rick you've been doing the best you can for those kids and for yourself since Lesley passed away. If she were here she'd tell you herself that we all do the best we can." Jessie got out 

“ I agree with Jessie Rick it was not your fault and everything you could do you did for Lesley before she passed away and she had told me many times Rick that the only thing she was gonna be afraid of was how you were gonna hold onto the guilt and determination to blame yourself…”

The 3 went their separate ways to head to bed so in the morning Rick can get up to get breakfast and the start of something he had planned for awhile. But before finally drifting out to sleep, Rick thought more about what Gail told him and what she told him broke his heart in two all over again as he thought of if Lesley had passed away before he had taken that leave of absence to spend that time he got to have.