ANXIOUS TO INSPIRED

#8 Silent Tears

Not a soul around
in the stillness of the night.
there's just the quiet.

There's my solitude and,
my silent tears,
my endless fears.

They mean nothing to anybody
I'm cared by nobody

My head pounds
my heart races
I ask myself
why do
I have to feel
this anguish?

I could be smiling,
alone but happy.

My treacherous mind
doesn't heed.
Reminds me of the choices I've made,
things I've done.

How far have I come?
There was the vibrant, sunny me,
and there's the me now.

I tried to catch up
but the world moved fast
I was panting
with nothing but thin air
in my grasp.

My light is gone
I'm eclipsed now,
by my sorrows,
my failures,
loss of loved ones.

My feet are wobbly
refusing to stand again.
Yet I know the
journey must go on.

I've wallowed enough.
I know everything
I lost isnt me.
I can stop trading a piece of
my soul
for every damn thing that happens to me.

I knew it always
but today
I feel it strongly
A spark,
an ember
in the sea of darkness.

Ehat can I do but hang on to it?
I don't want this despair me to swallow me whole.
That alone
gives me the strength.

I want to be whole again.
Be my radiant self.
How bright I shine
in this life
can no longer depend
on who I'm with
What I accomplish
or what people think
about me.

I've gotta fulfil my life
feel like I'm living again

That's right
just live.

That's freedom.

It's okay if I fail

It's okay if people
walk away.

it's okay if I don't get to
jump to where I want to be right away
it's okay...

This moment in
my life is mine now
I don't need to think how fast the world moves
how slow
how people dress up
or what they are up to.

All I need is to look at
is me.

Am I to waste this precious life in self-pity
because things arent going my way?
No. No.

Can't I be alone and
happy?

Cant I detach happiness from material things
and just find happiness that
I'm alive?

Because that's all
matters isn't it?

I don't need to worry will happiness be near,
I need no expectations,
not about me,
nor about others.

I just need to live life
with a empty mind
flow like water
Be consistent
be persisitent

And that's what I will do from now on.

Stay calm, stay happy,
live my life.

and love myself first
before I love others...

Will happiness be ever be near?
Yes it will be as long as I have this spirit in me.