My Last Snow | Mark Lee

CH15.1

***

HER

***

My head felt like a million bricks thrown against my skull, everything in my vision a complete blur. As I lifted myself up from my slumber, I noticed three emptied bottles of alcohol on the table, a bowl of porridge on my bedside table and a couple hangover pills beside it.

I swung my feet off the bed when a head emerged from the bathroom. I almost jumped a good two metres.

"Holy shit" I yelped as a top less Mark came out of the bathroom.

"Good morning" His voice was low and husky, as if he too, just woke up.

"Why don't you have a top on what the hell" I whipped around so my head faced the opposite direction. Suddenly, a pair of arms snaked around my waist, a head buried against my neck.

"You have to take responsibility for me" I could feel his lips turn into a smile as he said those words. My heart skipped a beat. I turned around and shoved him away, eyes widened and face so red it was as if this room was a sauna.

"What responsibility- what, did we...but why-"

Mark laughed, shaking his head "I'm joking. Nothing happened between us"

But why can I vaguely remember the taste of his lips.

"Go wear a shirt-" just as I said those words, the dock handle rattled.

"Are you in there?" Yeseul's voice sounded from behind the door. Frightened, I grabbed Marks hand and shoved him inside the closet, not letting him say a single word.

"Get in and shut up" I whispered, slamming the closet door close on him. Hurriedly, I ran towards the door and unlocked it, letting a confused Yeseul in.

"What was taking you so long?" She asked, walking in with a tray in her hands. New pills. Of course.

"I had to get changed" I made up an excuse, snatching the tray off her immediately "I know what these are, OK bye bye"

"No wait wh-" And Yeseul was out the door. Exhaling with relief, I placed the tray down and opened the closet door to see Mark holding in a colossal of laughter.

"I cant believe I'm hiding a man in my closet" I scoffed, helping him out. Suddenly, his arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer as our foreheads touched.

"This usually happens after a one night stand" Mark smiled, his eyes evidently flickering downwards

"Oh really" I rose an eyebrow, my fingers grazing over his cheek. Immediately, his cheeks dusted over with a layer of pink

"Mhm"

Just as he was able to close the gap between our lips, I grabbed his ear and dragged him out the closet, laughing at the look on his face.

"You need to go" I said, grabbing the white tshirt on the ground and chucking it right at him. As he wore the shirt, I pushed the closet away, opening the pathway down to the secret route.

"Can we just stay for a couple more minutes" Mark groaned, clasping onto my fingers tightly, his body wanting to press against mine.

"You're an idol, you're busy" I shook my head, basically shoving him down the route.

"Me and Chaewon have nothing going on by the way. She was actually the one who helped me s-"

"I know" I crouched down and placed my lips against his ears "You wouldn't have kissed me yesterday if that wasnt the case"

I don't exactly remember the details of yesterdays happenings, but I knew, Mark kissed me.

And I kissed him back.

***

I got a call. Not from Mark, not from Yeseul.

"Hello?" I asked, my feet propped up against my bed and my mouth full of grapes.

"Haewon, please come to my office" It was the head surgeon. My mouth hung over, my hands beginning to tremble. There was only one reason why the surgeon wanted to call me.

Swinging my feet off my bed, I advanced towards his office, a million possibilities in my head. Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit my head as I stabilised myself with the wall. I had these mini attacks often, but they were becoming more and more frequent that it was becoming concerning. After making sure my vision was clear again, I entered his office and immediately, I recognised his stern expression.

"Take a seat" He pronounced as I did so. I used to be so calm during these meetings as I knew exactly what was to come, yet today, I was scared knowing what exactly was going to happen to me.

"After testing your new meds, we've got some unfortunate news" He flashed his eyes up at me, the reflection in his glasses seemed like mirrors staring right back at me "Those meds should have helped your MS a lot, meaning you won't get frequent attacks and the pain is a lot more handable. But during the surgery we had the other day where you were hit in the head, we found that they weren't doing enough. Your body is weakening faster than we expected. You are feeling more and more sick each time you have an attack right? Even if it's not a big one"

I hesitated but ultimately nodded my head.

"Look, Haewon" He placed a hand on the table as if to reassure me "This doesn't mean it's helpless"

But it does. It's always been helpless.

"We will need you on a wheelchair soon, to avoid the circumstance where you might entirely collapse but remain conscious. I haven't told Yeseul yet, I'm afraid she might start crying"

Yeseul had always cried whenever the doctor told us that my MS is getting worse. But my MS has never gotten better.

"Is there any way to prolong rest periods after an attack?"

The doctors eyes widened, shocked that I had asked such a thing. Because I have never once asked about the solution, or ways to cure my condition. I was always too absorbed in my own world, thinking that death was the absolute cure to everything. Today was different, because I have something I want to protect. Someone I want to love.

"Well" He turned to his computer "Yes, and the affect will last a good 3 hours or more, but I don't recommend taking them. This pill is very strong, meaning even the slightest of overdose can lead to severe metabolic acidosis and it's almost guaranteed that your next attack will be tenfold worse. It's dangerous, especially for someone with a weak body, like yourself"

"Can I have it?" I asked.

"I'll prescribe it to you, but take no more than one per day" He wrote something and then stuck it to a pill bottle. As I reached out my hand to grab it, the surgeon looked me dead in the eyes.

"I'm serious, don't take more than recommended"

"OK OK" I snatched it over, a smile spreading across my lips. I told myself I won't overdose on it, but somehow, I wanted ro do so many things that I wanted nothing but to take these everyday. I wasn't going to, I knew the consequences. I just need to pray my sense of responsibility can hold me back.