My Last Snow | Mark Lee

CH7.2

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HIM

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It was rather awkward standing outside her room doing absolutely nothing but staring.

"Hae-" I knocked on the door in which she gave me one single response back

"Leave" She yelled from behind the door. I sighed. Perhaps it was my fault for snooping into some else's business. I couldn't help but think of some really selfish thoughts again because for someone who had little to no privacy the moment I became a teenager, I found it hard to empathise with her. In my life, there is nothing that belongs to me. My life is seen by eyes all over the world and my own privacy is so minuscule that it's equivalent to one single speck of sand. I feel like my life is attached to strings and the puppet master is the camera.

Sometimes, I just feel like my only escape is sleep.

I placed my hand on the door, sighing. Suddenly, an idea flashed into mind.

"Haewon, come out in 10 minutes, I want to take you somewhere. You must be sick of the hospital anyways" This may be the most stupid idea I've had yet, but somehow, I truly wanted to understand her. And in order to do that, she had to be willing to understand my world first.

"I'm not going" She yelled from behind the door

I kept banging at her door "I won't leave till you leave!"

In two minutes, she opened the door with a face full of unwillingness. Beaming, I exclaimed "Get changed, we're gonna go somewhere special"

***

"Mark, don't think that because you're a celebrity, you can kidnap me anywhere- let go you asshole" She struggled against my grip as I pulled her along the path

"Are you just not afraid of getting exposed again" She groaned, giving up slowly as she dragged her feels down the road.

"Relax, they can't tell who I am and you're face hasn't been revealed online yet" I rolled my eyes, finally pulling her to the place I was supposed to be at.

"Where are we" She shook my hand off. I smiled, leading her into a venue and straight into a rather dimly lit path.

"I know you think celebrities are these shining creatures on stage, but I want to show you that we're not, we're just like you and everyone else."

"My people are people who are constantly sick and dying and have no fucking home but the hospital" She spat. Her attitude hasn't changed one bit since the moment we met.

"Exactly. We're the same, Haewon. Everything inside of us are burning and we're constantly overwhelmed with exhaustion and exasperation yet we never even dare to find a cure because that simply meant that we lose our job. We have no home to return to every night and we sleep in different hotels, vans, cars, venues every single day of our lives that I know my caravan a lot better than my actual dorm. We haven't seen our loved ones in years and years because life leaves no spare time for us" I looked at her with soft eyes "We're not as different as you think"

She seemed to process that in her mind. Her expression softened and I could see a spark of sympathy in the abyss that was her eyes. A small safer sparkling in her never ending black hole.

"I wanted to take you here to let you see the reality behind our lives" I smiled "I want you to understand my world."

Haewon always perked my curiosity, so I hope I could spike hers too. We were stood on the ground floor of our concert venue whilst my members were on stage running through tomorrows arrangements. They had to re choreograph and rearrange a lot of things due to my absence. As a leader, I felt guilty—I had failed to be a good leader.

I turned around to look at her, to see her staring at the stage with wide eyes. I couldn't help but let a smile slip through; it was a first time she looked so curious. She became completely divorced from her tense and anxious persona she carried around with her. Maybe I was right to say that she has stayed in the hospital for far too long for her own good.

"You see those bodies that's sitting on the floor, chugging the water?" I asked Haewon who nodded "Those are my members and-" Just as I turned to looked at her, a staff member came hurtling my way, knocking my body towards her and our face jerked towards each other, like magnetics, and my mask scraped against her lips.

One second. Two second. Neither moved.

My heart pounded faster than it has before. God no, I must be hallucinating, for someone with a career like mine, I couldn't let my heart have any sort of irregularity, especially with a girl.

"I'll take you to the green room" I suggested, noticing the slight spark in her eyes as she watched my members climb back up and running through the choreo again.

As we arrived backstage to the green room, there were little to no staff members there. Too be fair, all the staff were on stage panicking for the concert.

"Have a seat" I smiled in which she did "I'm going to go out to check in with my members for a second". She didn't really give a response, except nod and beginning exploring the room with her eyes. I sighed, exiting the room. Conveniently, Jisung came walking down the hallway, sweat beading his head as one hand clutched the wall. I could tell all the energy inside of him has diminished.

"Jisung" I grabbed him by the arm, in which he switched his gaze at me and his eyes widened in shock.

"What are you doing here?" He asked

I wasn't sure how to answer "Don't worry about it" I patted him on the shoulder "It's your break time right"

"Yeah" He muttered "Only for 10 minutes though"

"That's it? 10 minutes? After what, six hours of that shit?" I gaped. I should have known this was coming. They had to re choreograph everything in a single day; there was no time for rest

"I'm going to go talk to the production team" I impulsively headed towards the staff members in which Jisung yanked me back

"It's ok" He shook his head "You know what our managers like. He's already not pleased with you"

"But this is ridiculous" As the leader, I had to protect them, even if it may not do anything, but I had to at least try "Keep this safe, don't lose it, I'll be back soon" I shoved a black bag into Jisung's hands

"What's this?" He asked, nodding towards the bag

"You know my cousin's dog? She's here" Somehow, Haewon's code name had just become 'my cousins dog'

"What?"

"Make sure no one goes into my dressing room. If anything, absolutely anything happens to her, this bag could save her life so don't you dare lose it" I remember taking the med kit with her right before I left. After her having an attack before, I didn't want it to happen again.

"Ok but Mark where are you g-"

"To earn you guys a rest"