The Dragon Bond: Heirs of Lyra

Chapter 47

In the morning she was surprised to find her guardian resting outside her room. The memory of yesterday still clung to her like a bad dream. Part of her wanted to pretend it had never happened. Her behavior with Miles had been rash and unkind. Although Elysia knew she did not deserve forgiveness from either Miles or Shade, she was glad her guardian had returned. Whether he had left or stayed hidden was unclear to the Princess, but she was glad to see Shade nonetheless. 

"You're back," she said, mostly to herself. Yesterday she feared he might have left her for good. Strangely enough, the idea of him gone from her life no longer appealed to her.

"I never left," he muttered.

"No?" She had looked everywhere, even up at the ceilings. Then she realized...if he had never left, it meant he had seen her looking for him. Her cheeks flushed. "I'm glad."

"What?"

"I'm glad you didn't leave." She fiddled with one of the rings on her finger.

Shade stood up and looked at her. His gaze was full of judgement. "I thought you would want some privacy."

"Thank you." She remembered he had not been there after she kissed Miles. The thought of it still made her cringe. She hated herself for it. What she did to poor Miles, dragging him along--for years apparently.

She wanted him to say something--to tell her off--yell at her for being so awful. Instead he stood there, staring off into space, waiting for her to go somewhere.

"I'm sorry," she said, barely able to get it out. Her emotions were everywhere lately. "I'm a terrible person. You tried to warn me, tried to get me to stop. I don't know why I do it. I'm horrible."

Shade neither disagreed nor agreed with her, his gaze fixed straight ahead. His silence was killing her. She didn't know why his opinion was so important to her. Probably because he was always so honest with her. He never withheld judgements, never refrained from saying any harsh words. He was honest, even if brutally so. Elysia was starting to think she preferred blunt honesty opposed to cruel silence.

Since the incident with Miles, Shade and Elysia had talked little, only when necessary. Days went by and she found herself wanting to right a lot of wrongs. Too long she had acted the part of a spoiled princess, doing what she wanted and forgoing the consequences. She was tired of disappointing her father and sick of hurting those around her. She wanted to be the things a princess was supposed to be: kind, considerate, respectful, elegant, and poised.

Thus, she shifted her focus back to her duties with her grandmother. She gave real opinions on decorations for the Quinquennial Ball, sat with both Sirey and the head chef to go over the menu, and dedicated several hours to looking at different floral arrangements with Maria.

She spent two days with Queen Ariana and Queen Mother Maria listening to different musicians and singers to choose for entertainment. This was actually quite enjoyable for Elysia. It was the first time her mother had come out of her chambers since Henry disappeared. Every once and a while she would even catch her mother holding back laughter at some of the ridiculous entertainment--folks who had no business performing in front of the Queen herself.

When Elysia wasn't working on preparations for the Ball, she was catching up with her friend, Sirey, reading up on the history of the kingdoms, or practicing her knife throwing skills. Shade was still tense around her, disappearing further into the shadows instead of making his presence known all the time.

His distance was killing her and she could not imagine why. This was what she had wanted for so long. She had already apologized to him, she did not understand his reasoning for remaining hidden. While she knew he was always there, she hated not knowing where.