Wilted Petals

Chapter 10: Unpleasant Times

As a doctor, you're always stressed when at the hospital. Whether or not someone will go into cardiac arrest while you're doing your rounds, or whether or not the treatment I've prescribed will actually work, there are always a hundred different worries swarming around in your mind that may go away when I either retire or die.

But today, I feel weirdly calm. And that's partially due to the unpleasant memories that were constantly flashing through my mind. And through all the sobbing, worrying, and dread that I went through, the only consistent thought was to remain as calm as possible.

    "Doctor, this is urgent," a nurse calls for me, as I step into the area to check on the patient. My eyes dart over to get a good look at him so that I can judge the situation fully. The patient's salt and pepper colored hair is thinning and in patches. His peach-colored skin is wrinkled like old leather around his neck, wrists, and eyes. His monitor is steadily giving off the familiar beeps that told me we were okay so far.

But still, I know from personal experience that can change faster than a snap of the fingers.

"He's not responding well to the treatment. There's no improvement at all. What do we do?"

I turn to address the nurse, as I can feel the concern bleeding from her voice trickling into my ears. I looked her directly in the eye. "It's alright. Calm down, we'll be fine. There's another option that we can try. It should work if this one doesn't. Don't worry, everything will be fine."

The nurse gives me a slight nod of approval, as some of the concern in her voice starts to dry up. "Alright, sounds good, doctor."

And that's the sign that lets me know that we're going to be fine.

    At the end of my long shift, I can feel the slight discomfort from doing all that work ache at my knees and arms. I give myself another pat on the back for both a job well done and for not having a breakdown in the middle of my shift. I fiddle with my keys a little bit more as the pleasant jingling is a nice change from all the heart monitor beeping.

As I walk out of my office, I catch sight of another nurse who has also gotten off of her shift. When she sees me, she flashes a smile towards me and starts walking over towards me to start making some small talk. "Doctor, finally off of the shift?"

An exhausted sigh deflates out of me, as I give an affirmative nod. "Yep. Another job well done by the both of us, hm?"

A little chuckle escapes out of the nurse, as she rubs the back of her neck with her hand. A little humor here and there really helps to dissolve any sort of tension that's built up in my bones. And today, it definitely works. I slide my bag up a little bit higher on my shoulder, as I see the nurse's eyes dart back to me to ask me another question.

"Doctor, I have to ask. You were so calm today and it worked out beautifully. How did you remain so calm when we were so stressed out?"

Immediately, coupled by that question and what today is, I feel like someone just catapulted me back to one of the worst times in my life. The memories of the hospital, with its chalk white walls bleaching my irises and the antiseptic's scent nearly singeing my nostrils, brand their way into my mind.

I try to block those images out momentarily so that I could give a proper answer back to the nurse. "My good friend always told me that nothing good comes out of being stressed. If you're calm, then something will work out."

The nurse's head bobs up and down as an affirmative nod, and she said, "I totally agree. Well, doctor, it's late, and I'll let you get back home. Enjoy your evening!" she exclaims, with a smile brighter than the moon is that night.