Wilted Petals

Chapter 18: The Unlikely Support

For some reason, 3 am is the perfect time for the most imperfect thoughts and memories to come gushing back. Whether it be all the cringey moments I enacted throughout high school or all the mistakes that I've made in my three decades in my life, it all comes to drown me.

This time, it's not something cringey or embarrassing. It's something I forgot, and when I realize I left my jacket at Manish's place, my eyes pop open and I immediately think, "Oh shit." I turn my head to check the time, and the clock reads, "3:33."

After I giggle a little bit about the digits, I flop back on my pillow. I try to bring together a cohesive thought from all the incomplete ones buzzing around in my head like little bees. Eventually, they come together in a cohesive swarm and I'm able to piece it together. "Okay, just text him in the morning. No biggie."

    Surprisingly, I almost immediately fall asleep afterwards. Usually, I spend at least 5 minutes thinking, "God, Jaya, how stupid could you have been?" but I'm able to fall back asleep. Maybe because a girl needs her sleep, but partially because it was a new excuse for me to go back to Manish's house and chat with him a little bit more.

    Thankfully, when the screechy sound of my alarm nearly deafens my eardrums in the morning, the dreading worry of my slight lapse of judgment doesn't cloud my stomach. Maybe my sleepiness sucked out any of the negativity and disintegrated it, but the reminder still rings in my mind. The second I turn off my alarm, my fingers groggily fumble across my phone screen to type out a text that probably has several typos in it.

Partially because my brain doesn't actually start functioning until at least 15 minutes after I wake up.

I throw my phone to the side and try to rub whatever sleep I have leftover in my eyes away. After sitting up and taking a few deep breaths, only one other thing is on my mind. "Coffee," I think to myself.

    I can feel whatever sleep was leftover in my eyes being eviscerated with each sip. I bask in the slight caramel and chocolate notes, as I gently drum my fingers against the coffee table. This is one of the peaceful parts of my day, as the rest are filled with mounds of paperwork and frantic questions.

As I'm enjoying the warm liquid flow down my throat, I feel my phone buzz underneath my fingertips. My eyes dart towards my phone and see that it's a message from Manish. My heart immediately jumps a thousand feet to skip a beat, as my hand immediately shoots for the phone, and the message reads, "Hey, I kept your jacket safe. You can come pick it up after work today!"

A little smile curls at my lips, as my now warmed fingers type back, "Sounds good!" At least now I have one thing to look forward to after work.

    The soles of my feet slightly burn. The stress throughout the day makes me feel like my brain is about to explode. I take deep breaths in and out so that I can really process what the hell is going on. Today was definitely not one of the easier days. But all I'm glad about is that I'm finally done with it. After I pick up my jacket and go home, I can finally kick back, watch a movie, and relax for once.

As I'm going through the streets and making sure I'm not running down any people, I can't help but wonder how the rest of the night is going to play out. Will I spend three hours at his apartment sipping on some coffee and talking about life, or will I just grab his jacket and get out? A deep part of me has a hunch that it will be the former, but that thought is put on hold as I knock on the door of his apartment.

Now, at that point, I just want to enter Manish's apartment and be engulfed in its cozy aura and calming incense. As I'm tapping my foot and just humming a random tune underneath my breath, I see the door swing open in front of me. Instead of being greeted by Manish's warm brown eyes and gigantic smile, I'm greeted by Isha's sharp gaze resting on top of boulder sized eye bags. The sharp gaze that can pierce through a cement wall dulls a bit when she realizes it's me. "Hey, come on in, Ashwini," she calmly greets.